Fragile Lives
by Astraldust
Summary: The smallest of life forms has the potential to be the deadliest. An adventure that leads to many things. Shep whump and plenty of angst.
1. Chapter 1

Summary: The smallest of life forms has the potential to be the deadliest. An adventure that leads to many things. Shep whump and plenty of angst.

Spoiler: None takes place after season 5

Shipping: John/Teyla. Even if you don't like the idea please give the story a chance.

Rating:- T for mild adult content.

Disclaimer:- I don't own Stargate Atlantis.

Sorry no beta so all the mistakes are mine.

I've had this story written for months but never got around to posting it. This is my first attempt at romance so please be kind and hopefully I've kept our favourites in character as much as possible.

 **Fragile Lives**

Chapter 1

The first thing Teyla noticed after stepping through the Stargate onto M5K 992 was the sweet smell of Shari flowers in full bloom. Having been here many years ago, she recalled that the beautiful, delicate blue flowers grew wild on this planet just like they did on so many others, including New Athos. However as lovely as the flowers were their subtle perfume brought back an unwanted memory. _Strange how certain smells could do that_.

Teyla tried hard to suppress the recollection but couldn't stop her thoughts from drifting back to happier times when her friendship with Kanaan had turned to something more. Her eyes filled with moisture at the memory of him picking a large bunch of the beautiful flowers and presenting them to her as a gift. Come nightfall she had placed the Shari blooms near her sleeping area and had finally allowed him to share her bed.

A single tear rolled down her cheek at the memory of that peaceful night when things had been so good with Kanaan. Before Michael and the horrors he had committed upon them all. A time before everything had changed and her world had turned upside down. Teyla quickly moved away from her team to look over the sunlit, flower filled pastures that stretched away from the Stargate as she did not wish for them to see her distress.

"You okay, Teyla?"

 _Of course he would notice._ Teyla quickly swiped her hand across her cheek and turned to look directly into his concerned and loving eyes. She gave him a small, and hopefully, reassuring smile. "I am fine, John."

Sheppard nodded. Although he wasn't entirely convinced, yet he knew Teyla wouldn't appreciate it if he dug any further. "Okay then, let's go find out what's wrong here."

They started to move, silent, each deep in their own thoughts. Even McKay remained quiet upon sensing the mood of his team. John took up the lead after giving Teyla another concerned glance. He had a very good idea what was troubling her as yesterday had marked the first anniversary of Kanaan's untimely death. He guessed something here must have triggered a memory.

As he walked ahead of them, John recalled the day that had changed Teyla and Torren's life forever. It had been a routine day with no missions or troubles during a period of re-establishing contact with old friends and allies, and generally getting settled back into Pegasus life after their return from Earth. Kanaan together with Halling had gone on a trading trip, as Kanaan had stated his desire for some Pegasus food and treats after living off Earth supplies for quite a while. It turned out to be a very unfortunate decision indeed. They had simply been in the wrong place at the wrong time when a group of bandits had raided the trading post they were at. Although normally a very placid man, Kanaan had tried to stop them and had been stabbed for his effort in a most brutal way.

Teyla had first learnt of the tragedy when Halling arrived through the Stargate carrying her partner's lifeless body. During the difficult weeks and months that followed, John had tried his hardest to help her as much as possible. However she had been distant, almost unfriendly at times. At one stage she'd even attempted to push him away, telling him that she didn't need his help or his sympathy. Her reaction had been hurtful. Yet somehow John had understood her situation and had stubbornly stuck by her as much as he could, which wasn't as much as he would have liked because his time had been limited with the pressures of his job taking up much of his attention.

Despite their best efforts, the Wraith continued to be a major threat. As a result the demands of the planetary coalition had escalated considerably. There had been plenty of resentment over the sudden departure of Atlantis and its extensive absence from Pegasus. Consequently, Mr. Woolsey had felt obliged to give them extra support upon their return. In the long run this had meant even more work for the Atlantis away teams, especially his. Teyla hadn't been with them during her initial mourning period stating that Torren needed her close by. After finding a regular childminder she had eventually rejoined his team, much to John's relief. Now a year later things were thankfully back to normal.

Right now they were on a mission to M5K 992, locally known as Calabria, to check out the apparent absence of their coalition representatives during the last meeting a few days ago. The Calabrian delegation had simply failed to turn up and nothing had been heard from them since. Because of the distinct possibility that their nonattendance was Wraith related, Atlantis had been asked to investigate. Mr. Woolsey had jumped right in and had volunteered to send a team. And much to Rodney's dismay the assignment had ended up with them.

A pure waste of our time the scientist had grumbled. Hopefully Rodney was right. A small smile touched John's lips at the memory of Rodney's expression of disgust just before they had left Atlantis. John's smile quickly disappeared when he thought about what they might discover once they reached the main community of Tandria approximately two klicks from the Gate. Hopefully there was a perfectly good explanation, but John hated the unknown.

They followed the well defined pathway through pleasant green fields and wooded boundaries, heavily trodden because apparently the natives were a very friendly, outgoing people. They loved going off-world as much as possible in order to trade with other communities, including the occasional exchange with Atlantis. Apart from Teyla, John and the rest of his team had never been here before but other gate teams had and they had never reported any problems during their visits. Despite that fact, John couldn't shake the uneasy feeling. Even the clement weather did nothing to drive it away.

He gave Teyla another quick glance and asked. "Feeling any Wraith yet?"

She returned his look with a warm smile. "No, I do not believe the problem is Wraith related."

Rodney broke his silence. "Oh, and what makes you so certain of that?"

To Teyla the answer was simple, "Because if the Wraith were here I would have felt them long ago. You know that fact very well by now, Rodney."

When he replied, Rodney's voice was laced with sarcasm. "Oh right, I forgot about your super spidey Wraith senses."

"McKay! That was totally uncalled for!"

"It is all right, John. He is only nervous because of his forthcoming marriage to Jennifer."

Rodney looked peeved. "That is so not true."

John rolled his eyes knowing that Teyla was probably right. Although Rodney denied it, it was more than likely the reason for his increased sarcasm and irritability of late. Heck John was nervous too and he was only the best man. He was happy for his friend and sincerely hoped that he and Jennifer could make a real go of it because they were good for each other.

He exchanged another quick smile with Teyla, which she didn't return this time leaving John feeling slightly disappointed. He quietly sighed before continuing on towards their destination. As he quickened the pace, his thoughts drifted to the nonexistent relationship he still had with Teyla. If only things were different between them. Yet despite his loving attention and care over the years, she gave him no indication that she wanted anything other than his friendship. And he was just too socially inept to express his true feelings for her, so nothing ever changed between them. It probably never would.

Deep in thought John lost his concentration for a moment, turning slightly red in the face when he realised that the rest of his team had stopped in their tracks some way back. Turning around, he gave them a puzzled look before walking back to join them. "Why'd you stop?"

"Ask Conan here."

The big Satedan stood stock still with his nose in the air. "Ronon? You got something?" John queried.

"Yeah, can't you smell that?" The rest of the team looked perplexed, although it wasn't unusual for Ronon to notice things before they did. His highly attuned senses came as a result of his many years as a runner when he had needed to be on full alert the whole time.

"Smell what?" John asked for the rest.

Ronon didn't answer, he simply wandered off beyond the path and over to a slight ditch in the nearest field. Again he stood perfectly motionless as the rest of the team came up to stand behind him. For a moment they didn't notice that he had his nose tightly pitched between his fingers. It didn't take them long before they did exactly the same.

"Oh my god that's just so gross!" Rodney shouted a little too loudly before he quickly walked away, feeling like he was going to lose his breakfast. Somehow, he managed to get the reflex back under control by thinking about yesterday's pleasant trip to the mainland with Jennifer. And yes, he had learnt to be a bit more romantic these days.

John turned his head away for a minute as even he had trouble controlling his gag reflex. And he was supposed to be a hardened soldier but whatever lay in the ditch was unbelievably gruesome. The maggot covered, fly infested mass of flesh was probably the remains of a human as it was roughly the right shape and size. There appeared to be some clothing still on the corpse but it was badly stained and tattered. The limbs were grotesquely twisted and mouth gapping open, as if the person had screamed long and hard before dying. Of course that happened to Wraith victims, yet for some reason John didn't think the corpse had been feed upon.

He wanted confirmation so he turned to Ronon who still had the ability to stare at the cadaver. Teyla had already moved away to stand near McKay. John certainly couldn't blame her as he felt like doing the same. "I don't think that's a Wraith feeding. What do you think?"

Ronon shook his head. "Na, too fleshy."

"Yeah that's what I thought. So the person was either murdered or attacked by a wild animal."

Once again Ronon shook his head. "Difficult to tell. Doubt it was an animal, more likely a human attack."

Holding his P90 steady, John started to move away. "Oh great, let's go find out what the town folks know about it and be on the alert for possible bandits." That advice definitely applied to him, no more daydreaming.

The closer they got to the town called Tandria, the more John's uneasy feeling grew until it became acute. An eerie silence prevailed over the land. Not a soul or domestic animal could be seen. Usually when they arrived at such places they would have seen workers in the fields by now. However, the crops remained undisturbed. In fact some of the fruit and vegetables looked to be overripe, even rotting away in places.

Ronon halted once again. Thankfully John noticed straight away this time. He came up to stand beside the big Satedan. "Sense something else, Chewie?"

"Yeah, there's another body over here," Ronon said, pointing to an outcrop of bushes near an outhouse where a similar looking corpse lay surrounded by flies.

John sighed, "Looks like we might be dealing with an attack of some kind. Maybe it's the work of the Bola Kai or some equally brutal pillagers. What do you think Teyla?" He turned to look at her but she had already moved further into the outskirts of the town. John ran to catch her up. "Let's stick together, shall we."

"I am sorry, John, but I thought I heard something over near that stone wall." Teyla pointed to what looked like someone's backyard.

Curious they moved together to glance over the rough stone wall into the area beyond where yet another body lay face down, not quite as badly decayed as the others had been. From its attire it appeared to be a female, although obviously very dead. John held his P90 steady and entered the small garden through a waist high, wooden gate. After a moment's hesitation, Teyla moved to follow him while Rodney and Ronon waited just beyond the wall, on alert for possible attackers. Rodney in particular looked around nervously and remained unusually quiet.

John moved over to the body and nudged it with his foot. Turning it over he could see what looked like angry sores and discolouration on her limbs. There were also signs that she had suffered a great deal. From her facial expression her last hours must have been spent in pure agony. "I don't think she's been dead that long. And it certainly wasn't any human attack that killed her."

"Yes, I agree. I believe some form of sickness has taken her."

John straightened and nodded. "Which could mean the others died that way too." He turned to Rodney and Ronon. "Looks like we're dealing with some form of disease," he informed them as he started to move out of the yard. "Okay, let's look for survivors but don't touch anything and try not to come into contact with any sick people. If we find any survivors we'll call for…." John suddenly stopped dead in his tracks as the wail of a child could be heard coming from an area near a simple stone house.

Without hesitation, he turned on his heel and quickly headed towards the sound. It didn't take him long to locate the child. To his horror John saw that the toddler had fallen down into a drain, which was partially filled with muddy water. Without stopping to contemplate the consequences, he placed his gun on the ground and scooped the child up out of the drain.

"John, no!" Teyla screamed, fearing that the child was also contaminated. Her cry came too late as John already had the youngster securely in his arms.

"I couldn't just leave him in there!" John shouted over the toddler's howling. "Oh come on, kid, you're safe now," he tried to pacify. Surprisingly after a few more ear splitting yells, the little one began to calm down. Then without warning it suddenly flung its arms around John's neck and clung on for dear life. John was subjected to a face full of wet, slobbery drool.

"Oh that is so not good." Rodney muttered as he joined them, making sure he kept a safe distance between him and the child.

"I'm fully aware of that, McKay. I couldn't just leave the kid to maybe drown or catch pneumonia." John looked around. "Guess he could have belonged to the dead woman, although he doesn't appear to be sick. Alright there could be other survivors out there, so we'll continue to look around. However, my earlier warning still stands."

Rodney rolled his eyes. "Oh right, maybe you should have heeded your own advice."

"It's too late for that now, so let's get this over and done with. Then we'll decide what to do about the kid." After giving the infant a sip of water from his bottle, John leant down to retrieve his gun getting a whiff of a very unpleasant odour. "Pooh, you need a bath and a new diaper, young fella."

Teyla smiled at his comment and waited as John left the garden with the child tightly held in his arms. A sudden coldness came over her as she watched him. She couldn't say why but she had a bad feeling that the future wasn't going to be as simple as giving the child a bath.

Following on behind, Teyla pondered for a moment as she slowly walked back towards the others. She really cared a great deal about John's wellbeing. She'd always done so from the moment they had met and if she would admit it, she loved him even. Consequently she worried every time something happened to threaten his safety, which unfortunately proved all too often.

She still missed Kanaan, although not as much as she really should. Things had been particularly difficult immediately after losing him, mainly because Kanaan had always been there for Torren. Not that she'd been without plenty of help since his death. John in particular was trying his hardest to assist her whenever he could find the time, especially being there in the evenings to look after Torren so that she could find time for her other pursuits. She knew she hadn't always been that kind towards him, especially early on. Teyla couldn't really explain why. Maybe it was the fact she was alone again or was it out of frustration over their situation. Even after a year she still couldn't bring herself to show John that she wouldn't mind something more than just his friendship. Most of her uncertainty stemmed from the fact that she wasn't so sure how he truly felt about them. Did he view himself as a supportive friend or did he wish for something more between them? That was the question and she wondered just how long it would take to find out.

She sighed and began to follow her team as they headed off further into the town.

TBC

Hope you like the beginning and please review.


	2. Chapter 2

**Fragile Lives**

 **Chapter 2**

Over the next hour or so they continued combing the streets for any signs of life. All they found were yet more dead bodies with obvious indication that a sickness had definitely decimated the town. They didn't enter any homes for fear of contamination. However they did call out at regular intervals, yet not a single soul responded to their pleas.

"Oh this is worse than the great plague, at least some people survived during those terrible outbreaks." Rodney muttered from behind his makeshift mask. He had found a cotton cloth in his backpack and together with some tape he had it secured firmly around his nose. Everyone thought it was pretty useless. However it gave Rodney the reassurance he needed to stay and help look. Deep down he would have liked nothing better than to have hightailed it back to the Stargate. "It looks like no one's alive, so can we leave now?" he asked somewhat eagerly.

"Well, at least we've got one survivor and hopefully he stays that way." John commented, looking at the child now fast asleep in his arms. "You're right though, this is bad and I'm guessing pretty abnormal." He sighed loudly knowing his team might not like what he was about to suggest. "We can leave the town but can't very well go straight back to Atlantis in case we're contaminated. So I'll call for help, get a biohazard team out here to set up a mobile med lab and some shelters for us until we get the all clear. Chances are you three are okay but…," he glanced at the child again, "Well me and the kid will need to keep apart from you just in case. So don't come too near and we'll stay in separate tents." Surprisingly everyone nodded their approval. Even Rodney didn't protest, although he looked pretty sick with worry.

John threw them another look. "Okay then let's get back to the Gate and get this over with so we can all go home…hopefully." He murmured quietly.

oOo

Due to the proficiency of Doctor Jennifer Keller and her team, along with a small group of combat engineers it only took a few hours before they were settled into some tents a short distance from the Stargate. The Atlantis personnel all wore hazmat suits as they went about their duties. One small group quickly headed for the town to collect samples to try and determine the pathogen responsible. Whether a virus, bacteria or something completely alien.

Blood samples had already been collected from the team, although they had yet to collect any from the child. Jennifer was kind of hoping to find a bacterial infection because then she could start Sheppard's team and the child on a broad spectrum antibiotic. However, she had her doubts because of the high mortality rate and the type of symptoms sounded more like a virus. She was concerned because the illness reminded her somewhat of Ebola, although from what Rodney and the others had described there were no signs of acute haemorrhaging only nasty skin lesions and festering sores.

John and the child were settled well away from his team in a slightly smaller shelter. The nurses quickly set up a mobile decontamination unit next to the shelter with a connecting tube system. They told him to shower both himself and the child thoroughly with a cleansing solution before dressing into some clean clothing provided from Atlantis.

The child looked at him with big brown eyes and began to suck its thumb as John laid him down upon a soft paddled table top. He really didn't have much experience in aging young children but reckoned the kid to be about two years of age. "Well looks like it's just you and me for a while, so let's get you out of these dirty, wet clothes and into the shower. Then you get some nice clean clothes to wear and after that I'll try to get some food down you. Although it's probably best if I try to feed you before we get you dressed," John muttered to himself as he began to remove the child's heavily soiled linen top.

The surprise came when John removed the smelly, cloth diaper. He smiled even though the pong was enough to knock him out. "Hey, you're not a boy! Why in heavens name did your mom shave your head?" Of course the little girl didn't answer him.

A huge smile broke out on chief nurse Marie's face as she entered the shelter and paused to watch the exchange between the tough colonel and the small child. He really was a softy where children were concerned. "Do you need any help there, Colonel," she quietly offered.

"Na, I've got it. I think it's best if I hold the kid while giving her a good scrub down in the decon unit." John looked a bit dubious. "I have a feeling she's not going to like it."

"I thought you said it was a boy?"

John turned the little one around slightly so Marie could see her front. "My mistake. From the lack of hair I honestly thought she was a boy."

Marie chuckled under her hazmat gear. "An honest mistake, I thought the same. I'll leave the towels here," she told him, placing two fluffy towels on a low stool. "Before you step into the unit, could you please put all your soiled clothing in the biohazard container." She pointed to a round yellow plastic, barrow shaped container before holding up a strong, plastic zipper bag. "After you've finished please place the wet towels in this bag. Then I'll need a blood sample from the child?"

John nodded before saying. "She's not going to like that too."

"Unfortunately it is necessary."

Half an hour later after a bit of a struggle John had the little girl in clean clothing. He felt better himself in a t-shirt and comfy sweatpants, although somewhat vulnerable and naked without his weapons and TAC vest. Now they had the difficult task of drawing some blood. The child literally clung to his neck as Marie approached with a large needle. John really couldn't blame her because it did look rather alarming.

"Hey it's okay," he soothed, "After this you'll get some nice juice to drink and some tasty food," Which was a bit of a fib because all they had at the moment were some MRE's.

oOo

"Is he murdering the boy?" Rodney muttered from the other shelter that had been placed a safe distance away. Although on the same piece of land and apparently still near enough that he could hear the child. The scientist had his laptop balanced on one knee as he precariously sat on a folding chair. They had promised to bring him a table as soon as possible but first priority had gone to setting up a mobile med-lab and all its equipment. The lab had been placed between the two shelters along with another decon unit, which Rodney had more than willingly used.

Teyla looked up from her low camping cot. "I believe not. Torren makes the same fuss when he has to have blood taken or any injections he may require."

Ronon grunted from his place near the shelters entry flap. He hated inactivity and he was also very concerned. Although he knew they hadn't touching anything that still didn't mean the illness couldn't be airborne. And then there was Sheppard and his direct contact with the kid. He just had a bad feeling that his friend was in big trouble yet again.

Another comment from Rodney broke into his thoughts. It was a very typical one. "I'm starving."

"They will bring something soon, of that I am sure." Teyla tried to pacify him. Rodney never ceased to amaze her as even in the direst of circumstances he never seemed to lose his appetite. She on the other hand couldn't eat a thing right now, even if she tried. Her worry and concern about what the doctors might discover and how it could affect John and the child prevented it. And of course how it could affect them, but she had a feeling the illness was only spread by contact and they had been very careful not to touch anything after the first body was discovered.

Teyla longed to see John again and to reassure herself that he was still fine, which she knew was a little premature as it had only been about four hours since he had saved the child from the drain. Jennifer had said many times that illnesses needed an incubation period that could range from a matter of hours to days or maybe even weeks depending on the type of microbe. If that were the case they were in for a long haul. It could be that they might have to stay in isolation for a longer period and Teyla worried about how accepting Torren would be. He didn't mind spending short periods with his child minder, an Athosian girl named Amiera, but he would miss her terribly if her absence went into weeks. Hopefully it wouldn't come to that.

Jennifer came to see them not long after their food had been delivered. She gave Rodney a reassuring smile behind her visor even though she didn't feel all that confident, at least not at the moment. She knew what a hypochondriac he was, so decided not to tell him about the gruesome facts back in the town. He already knew most of them anyway. Sheppard would have to know and Jennifer intended to visit him once she was finished here. "So how are you settling in?" she asked them all, "Anything you need for the night?"

"Yes," Rodney piped up, "A quick cure and my own comfortable mattress. Thank you very much."

Jennifer sighed. Although she loved this man, some of his quirks could be quite irritating. "I wish I could grant you that but you know that's not possible right now. It takes time to gather all the required information. I can tell you that your blood work is clear at the moment with no raised white cell count or alien pathogens present. However it is very early days. I'm hoping to find out the exact cause in a few hours time. Dr. Biro is working overtime to identify the bacteria or virus involved."

"And what if it's completely alien to us? What then?"

"Then we will deal with it as best we can, Rodney. One thing we do know for sure it is not connected to the Hoffan drug…"

Jennifer was just about to say more when someone called from just outside the flap. "Dr. Keller the team have the information you wanted."

"Okay, I'll be right there," she answered back.

Rodney quickly stood up, nearly overturning his stool. "What information?"

"Calm down. I just required some numbers to determine the exact extent of the illness and whether the town's entire population were infected. Now the best thing is to rest and try not to worry too much." Jennifer knew that was easier said than done. She quickly left before Rodney got even more uptight about it.

She met Dr. Clifford outside the shelter. He and his team of four had just returned from the town for the second time in a matter of hours. "We counted roughly two hundred and fifty bodies," he quickly informed her.

Jennifer looked puzzled. "According to the information we have from the Coalition there should have been at least six hundred people living there."

Clifford shrugged and held out a book for Jennifer to see. "We found this journal near a victim in what looked like a doctor's office. It could contain some information but it's in a language we can't read."

Jennifer carefully took the journal from him before opening it. It did appear to be recently written and had dated sections like a diary. Though like Clifford, she had no idea what the words meant. It could be a work schedule or a time table for all she knew. "I wonder if Ronon or Teyla can read this?" she pondered aloud. "I'll show it to them in a minute. In the meantime get your team through a full decontamination and call it a day for now."

Clifford and his team nodded before walking away to the back of the med lab where the staff decon unit had been placed. Full decon would wash off all possible contaminates and allow them to gate through to the alpha site where another decontamination would be carried out. When given the all clear, the hazmat suits could finally be removed. The alpha site had been set up as a temporary living quarters for all the staff dealing with the problem on M5K 992. After all they needed to eat and sleep somewhere. At the moment it was deemed too risky to gate back to Atlantis, apart from the fact that the city could go into full lock-down if it detected a threat. Of course that wouldn't be the first time that had happened.

Deep in thought, Jennifer watched them go before re-entering the shelter. She approached Ronon. "Don't touch this journal at all as it could be contaminated. I will hold it up so that you can see the text and hopefully be able to read it for me."

Ronon moved over and stared at the writing. He simply shook his head, sending his dreadlocks flying. "Nope."

Jennifer shrugged before showing it to Teyla who looked at it as close as she dared without actually touching it. "Yes, it is written in the Calabrian language. I can read a bit as I once had a good friend here. Sadly, she is long gone due to a Wraith culling." Teyla looked distressed as if the memory was still too painful for her.

"Okay, Teyla," Jennifer called softly. "Try your best as it may help us understand what has happened here."

Without touching the page, Teyla began to read. "It is a diary. It seems to be about the events leading up to the writer's death."

Jennifer looked curious. "How do you know they're dead?"

"The last entry - _et martus -_ I am dying."

"Okay that just confirms that the victim found near the journal was probably the author and he could have been a healer. Can you tell me more? You don't have to read it word for word, just give me a summary if you can."

Teyla nodded and glanced at the words. "Could you please go back a page or two?" Jennifer did so. "Okay...there are about ten entries regarding the illness. Mainly stating who died. It seems that the sickness first started only a few days after a young child arrived from Bellem. I believe a young couple took the child in. He wrote that the father became very ill and eventually...fled to the fields? I do not know what he meant by that as he does not explain or maybe I cannot understand it well enough. He does not say what became of the child or the mother." Teyla paused for a moment to scrutinise the text further.

"Although, I am not too sure it could be that some of the healthy ones left the town and headed for the summer hunting cabins the north. I believe the journal also describes the progress of the illness. However, I am unfamiliar with some of the terms as they appear to be medical ones."

Teyla bit her lip, hung her head and spoke very quietly hoping that Rodney wouldn't hear her from where he still sat, seemingly working on his laptop. "It seems the writer may have been a doctor like you thought. What he talks about is very distressing. He describes how the illness begins with a skin outbreak and high fever. There is much pain and discomfort. The outbreaks continued to spread to eventually cover much of the body. He speaks of infection and larger festering sores. Then the fever burns even higher. The pain increases and becomes too much to endure. In the end, the victim dies either from shock or…they take their own lives. He writes that his medicine does not seem to cure. Even pain relief does not help much."

"Does he mention anything about how the illness is contracted?"

Teyla read a bit more. "I am not so sure of my translation but I think he mentions that the illness appears to spread through direct contact from victim to victim. He believes that is how he became infected while caring for others."

Jennifer nodded, relieved that Rodney was unlikely to become ill. Teyla and Ronon were probably alright too. That left Sheppard. However, Jennifer couldn't condemn him because as usual he put the safely of others before his own welfare by taking the risk of rescuing the young child from possible drowning. Now she had plenty of work to do to ensure that the colonel would have the best possible care and treatment should the worst case scenario transpire and he became ill. "Thanks so much, Teyla. That was a great help."

Jennifer turned to go as she wished to inform Sheppard of their latest findings. Rodney quickly moved to block her exit. "I'm going to die a horrible death! I just know it and right before our wedding. Oh that's so not fair…."

Jennifer pointed her gloved finger towards his chest, although not actually touching him. "No…you are not going to die! As long as you didn't touch anything you should be fine. Now I have to go and speak to the Colonel."

Teyla stopped her this time. She face full of concern. "I am worried that John's kindness has caused him great harm."

Jennifer didn't know what to say to that. She also didn't want to lie to her friend. "It might have or maybe the boy isn't infected for some reason. The nurses mentioned that he doesn't appear to be sick but I haven't done a thorough examination of the child yet. I'll look at the child while I'm over there informing Sheppard."

Teyla nodded. "I hope you are correct. Please give him my…our good wishes and tell him our thoughts are with him."

"Okay, I'll give him your love." Jennifer said cheekily because she was sure that's what Teyla meant to say. The doctor flashed Rodney a quick smile and hastened out before Teyla could say anymore.

Teyla watched her go with a heavy heart. Jennifer was correct. She should have sent him her love.

TBC

 **Thank you so much for all the reviews they were most welcome. Thanks also to the guest readers and those who favoured or alerted.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Fragile Lives**

 **Chapter 3**

Jennifer found Sheppard in a bit of a mess. His clean clothes were splattered with bits of vegetables and gravy. The child had a ring of the same stuff around her mouth and down the front of the cloth John had fixed as a bib as they didn't have one at the moment. "I see he's not too impressed with our food," Jennifer noted with a smile.

"Yeah, well, who can blame her? MRE's aren't that great."

"I'll have some fresh food sent from Atlantis as soon as we can get it...," Jennifer suddenly stopped when she realised what Sheppard had just said. "Wait a minute I thought you said the child was a boy?"

John shook his head. "Nope, despite the lack of hair she's little girl. How old do you reckon she is?"

Jennifer moved closer to look at the infant. She shied away from the intimidating doctor in her hazmat gear and clung to John's arm. Thankfully she didn't scream or anything, for which John was truly grateful as he didn't think his ears could take it. Jennifer sighed. "I'll need to examine her so if you could keep her in your arms and take off her top I'll listen to her heart and lungs. As to her age, I would say she's around twenty mouths or so. Has she spoken yet?"

John slowly shook his head as he carefully wiped the child's face with a damp cloth before removing her top. Surprisingly she didn't make a fuss about that as he held her protectively in his arms. "Apart from screaming when Marie took some blood. I believe she probably can speak but let's face it she's been through a very dramatic event."

Jennifer nodded. She warmed her stethoscope before placing it on the child's chest. Luckily she didn't fuss about that either. They remained silent for a few minutes while Jennifer listened to her lungs from the front and then her back. "Well she seems fine. No congestion or heart murmurs. Her skin looks fine too from what I can see, so she doesn't appear to have the illness." Jennifer went on to describe what Clifford's team had evaluated in the town and Teyla's translation of the healer's journal.

John listened intently before commenting. "Someone needs to find out if the other town folk are still alive and kicking up in their summer camp. They can use a jumper to do a fly over. No landing and contact unless we know the facts. We also need to know if the folk on Bellem have fallen victim to the same illness. The Coalition may have heard something in regards to that…I just hope nobody Gated from here after the illness broke out." He looked down at the little girl in his arms. She seemed content for the moment. "When will you know what we're dealing with?"

"As soon as Dr. Biro…"

The person in question suddenly arrived just inside the entry flap. "I have those results for you, Dr. Keller."

"Speak of the devil." Jennifer muttered. "Okay, I'll be with you after I've finished talking to the Colonel."

Doctor Biro made to move away but John stopped her. "Lindsay, you're fully protected aren't you?" She nodded. "Okay then why don't you come in and tell us both. I may not fully understand the jargon but I'd like to know where we stand on this."

"Yes, yes, of course, Colonel. No problem." She moved fully into the shelter in her usual enthusiastic fashion and promptly tripped on an uneven bit of ground. "Oops, sorry."

Jennifer quickly moved to her side and took the tablet computer away from her before she might drop it. Jennifer scanned it for a few minutes keeping her face turned away from John so he couldn't see her expression of deep concern. She schooled her features before turning back to face him. "We'll dealing with a viral infection, which means I should start you and your team on antivirals immediately. However, I'll need to do more investigation before I can give any drugs to the infant because of side-effects. She's been exposed far longer and yet seems clear of the virus." Jennifer pondered. "We'll need to find out why."

Lindsay Biro promptly added. "The virus appears to attack the immune system quite aggressively. It's a little like HIV or Ebola. The skin eruptions are caused by particularly nasty bacteria simply because the body just can't fight it off. And there's evidence of gangrene on all the victims because the bacteria ate away healthy tissue…."

"I don't think the Colonel needs to know all that right now, doctor."

"That bad, huh? Great, another Pegasus life form out to kill us." John lowered his head to look at the child. "Hopefully because Beth here isn't sick she didn't pass the nasty virus onto me."

"Beth?" The two women asked almost simultaneously.

"Figured she needed a name and as we don't know her real name, I decided to call her Beth as in Elizabeth."

Jennifer smiled behind her visor. "I think that's a lovely gesture. John is there anything you need before we call it a night?"

He simply shook his head. "No, we've got everything we need." He held up his hand and ticked off items. "MRE's, drinks, diapers, clean clothing for us both and a couple of warm beds"

"Okay then. Get some rest and don't forget to tell me if you have any symptoms no matter how minor they may seem."

This time John nodded before reaching for a stuffed bear someone had kindly provided. It was going to be a long night and hopefully Beth would be tired enough to allow them both to sleep through it.

oOo

The fourth day of quarantine had dawned dull and wet as befitting Teyla's mood since waking. She missed her son greatly and although she had been reassured that he was fine, it still didn't alleviate her worries.

A nurse had been to take yet more blood and check their vitals. That was routine now and would probably be the same as in previous days. Approximately an hour later Jennifer would come to tell them the results. Hopefully today would be as reassuring as before. Teyla felt fine and she knew her companions felt well also. Rodney had complained none stop since waking, which was a good sign that things were perfectly normal with him.

Teyla wondered how John was faring. She still worried about him even though yesterday's tests had been negative for him too. The nurses had reassured her that he was fine and coping remarkably well with the little one. It seemed the child was truly smitten with him and the two of them had cuddled and played silly games the whole time. Rodney commented at the time, something about that being typical Sheppard. No matter the age of the females they always took to him like a duck to water. Well apart from a few exceptions like Shiana, of course. Teyla smiled at the thought and vaguely wondered what he would do with the child once the quarantine was over.

However this morning it had taken longer than usual for Jennifer to appear at the shelters entry, which had had them all slightly apprehensive. She shook the water from her hazmat suit and quickly moved inside. "Oh what horrible weather and it looks like it's here to stay for the next few days at least."

"Just great and it's not that warm in here." Rodney complained. "Can't you get them to bring a few more heaters?"

Jennifer moved over to him and without warning shoved a digital thermometer in his ear. Although his temperature had been normal earlier, she just wanted to reassure herself. "It's toasty warm in here, Rodney."

Ronon nodded in agreement from his place near the shelters entry. "Yeah, too warm."

 _Next one to check_ , Jennifer thought as she removed the thermometer from Rodney's ear. Thankfully it was still perfectly normal. "I'll get you an extra blanket because you certainly don't need it any warmer in here." She moved over to Ronon and checked him before doing the same with Teyla. "Well everything looks fine and your blood work is still clear, so I can honestly say that you've dodged a bullet. One more day in quarantine just to be absolutely sure then I'll consider giving you a bit more freedom."

Rodney looked alarmed. "What can't we go back to Atlantis then?"

"No, Rodney, not until at least a week or more has passed. We still haven't discovered why the outbreak was so bad for these people. As I told Sheppard late yesterday evening, it seems the folk on Bellem suffered an outbreak of a very similar sounding virus about two weeks ago. The incubation period was only three days and the symptoms included a high fever and joint aches but no skin eruptions. All the sufferers survived apart from a very old man with a heart condition and a couple of off-worlders, both females. The illness disappeared as quickly as it came but that was expected because apparently it usually doesn't hang around. The people of Bellem call the illness the Flux because of its fluctuation and the unpredictable frequency of outbreaks. It can sometimes be years between cases and at other times, one outbreak after another." She paused to let that sink in.

"Our people eventually found out that the child mentioned in the healer's journal and brought here was orphaned by the latest outbreak on Bellem. I'm guessing she belonged to one of the dead women. Unfortunately, the people questioned didn't know exactly what the child looked like or who the dead woman was, only that some relative from Calabria arrived to claim the child." Jennifer looked grim as she continued. "We have found a number of children among the victims, so it could be any one of them. And it was probably either the child or the relative that carried the illness here."

Just then a nurse came in and handed Jennifer a report. Her face dropped and she went slightly pale. "I won't keep this from you or Sheppard when I see him, but his white cell count is up. It could mean his body is fighting a simple infection and not necessarily the virus."

Nobody said a word but their faces said it all, who was she trying to kid.

oOo

John remained silent while Jennifer told him. At the end, he said. "Well…I feel fine. Maybe it's just a mild infection somewhere. At least my team are okay and Beth seems fine too." His last sentence seemed to contradict the others, meaning he wasn't so sure things weren't going south for him.

"You could be right. So far your blood work is free of the virus and you don't have a fever. Also there's no swelling of your neck glands or skin outbreaks. We'll continue giving you the cocktail of antiviral drugs and see how things go."

John nodded and looked at the little girl curled up on her bed. "She's a little rascal. Woke me shortly before dawn so she could play and now she's fast asleep."

"The joys of parenthood."

John chuckled. "Yeah, once this business is over we're going to have to find a home for her. I'll have to speak to Teyla about it. Maybe her people will take Beth in."

"A relative could still be out there?"

John rubbed his neck. "Somehow I think they're all dead. I mean Clifford's team reported that there were several victims in the house where we found her, apart from the woman in the yard. I guess the family died one by one, eventually leaving the poor kid unattended. She probably followed her mother or whoever that was into the yard and toddled off to fall into the drain. I don't believe she spent that long stuck down there as I think the woman hadn't been dead for long before we arrived on the scene."

Jennifer nodded. "Could be as some victims were affected worse than others but the end result was the same." She didn't say fatal, as John knew that fact very well.

"So we'll need to find a family for Beth." John stated again.

Jennifer looked at him closely. The colonel tried to hide his emotions behind a mask of controlled calm but deep inside he was a troubled soul. He carried the burden of responsibly to the extreme and blamed himself for every nasty problem Pegasus threw at them. She remembered the look of great sorrow and deep pain that was so clearly written on his expressive face when she'd told him about Elizabeth's severe injuries. At the time it left Jennifer wondering what his true feelings for Elizabeth Weir had been. However, he had shown the same concern and deep sorrow over Teyla's disappearance, leaving Jennifer with the impression that he cared for her far more than he'd ever let on. Then of course, he went through hell to get her back even though she loved another. John needed someone to love and to bring him some happiness. He truly deserved it despite his own self doubt.

However what Jennifer said next surprised even her, it just slipped out without any real consideration. "Why don't you take her in?"

John laughed. "Oh, if only. Nice idea but it's just not practical. With my job I'd hardly see her and she needs a mom. No, she'd be better off with an Athosian couple."

"Would she really?" Jennifer questioned. However, she left it at that.

John didn't say anything more on the matter. He quickly changed the subject. "So my team are all fine. That's good because your wedding can go ahead as planned. Getting nervous? I bet Rodney is."

With less than two weeks to go before the big day, Jennifer wasn't so sure it would go ahead as planned. There was still so much to do and she really should be back on Atlantis making the final preparations for the actual ceremony to be conducted by Mr. Woolsey and she still needed to finalize the arrangements for their honeymoon back on Earth. This illness and its necessary quarantine couldn't have come at a worse time.

John must have sensed her quandary. He cleared his throat and said. "Look as soon as Rodney's cleared I want you both to go back to Atlantis. You have plenty of capable people here who can run things, if necessary. Regardless of how this works out, I want you and my team safely away…."

Jennifer quickly interrupted. "Do you think Rodney would leave you here all alone if the worse should happen? And I'm sure Ronon and Teyla wouldn't."

John sighed. "What difference would it make? They wouldn't be able to come near me."

Jennifer had to give him that. "Well, they would all have to wear hazmat gear but…."

"No buts, doc, you tell them that's an order. And if I'm not well enough to attend the wedding then you go ahead with it anyway. That's my sincere wish and I really mean it."

Jennifer looked at him earnestly. _Did he honestly think we could celebrate our wedding if he was dying or God forbid had just died?_ She didn't voice her thoughts, instead she said. "I can try telling them but I don't think they'll listen. What I can do is get in touch with Carson. I'll ask him to take over the research for me. I'm sure he would be more than willing. But we're jumping the gun a little aren't we. You could be fighting fit in a week or so."

"Let's be realistic, doc." John said no more. Jennifer felt her heart sink as she suddenly realised that he wasn't feeling quite as good as he tried to let on.

TBC

 **Thanks for the reviews and lovely comments made by guest readers. Sorry I can't thank you personally**.


	4. Chapter 4

**Fragile Lives**

 **Chapter 4**

"What are you doing?" Rodney shouted just beyond the med-lab's clear plastic door.

"Oh, Dr. McKay, I see Dr. Keller has given you the freedom to move around and I'm glad to see you looking so fit and well." Lindsay Biro shouted back as she looked up at him from her position on the floor. She looked like a strange white turtle on its back, all arms and legs as she tried to right herself. The umbilical that was feeding her oxygen was her biggest obstacle as it kept getting in the way. The extra protection was necessary because of the nature of her work and the direct handling of the microbes. "I fell asleep and landed on the ground. You know it's so very difficult to get up in a hazmat suit."

"I'd give you a hand but…," Rodney held up his arms, "no entering and….no touching."

"Oh that's all right! I fully agree, especially as I've just been handling some rather nasty bacteria."

Rodney hastily backed away just as a lab technician approached. They nearly collided. "Ah good…she needs help," Rodney stated pointing to Biro, gladly passing on the problem.

The lab tech sighed. "That's the fourth time she's done that. You really shouldn't be hanging around here without any protection, Dr. McKay." He scolded before pushing the clear plastic door aside and entering.

"He's right, Rodney!" Jennifer agreed as she approached the lab. "I told you which premises were out of bounds, this lab and Sheppard's shelter. What are you doing here anyway?"

"I was just seeing if there had been any progress in the voodoo department."

Jennifer sighed. She knew how disparaging Rodney could be about medical science. She ignored his comment and shot Lindsay a look as she was helped to her feet by the tech. The pathologist had been working overtime to identify the true nature of the pathogens, so she must be really exhausted to keep falling asleep on the job. Jennifer eventually turned back to Rodney and encouraged him to move further away from the lab before saying. "We have identified a nasty bacteria that may have interacted with the virus. Why the illness was so severe in Tandria is still unsure though. At least the people who left early enough seem to have survived, which is fortunate. It wasn't easy to find them but they were spotted earlier this morning. Our team has since made contact wearing protective gear and learnt that no one had become ill. They were extremely shocked when told that the entire population had been wiped out since they left the community. So whatever we're dealing with is definitely centred in the town. I've just come from telling Sheppard."

Rodney looked concerned. He hadn't seen John now for five days. "How is he?"

Jennifer looked hopeful. "There's been no change, so maybe the increase in leukocytes isn't due to the virus. Could simply be a cold or minor infection somewhere? Anyway his orders still stand. And seeing as you can't stay safely in your shelter or away from this lab, I'm sending you to the Alpha site with Teyla and Ronon for a further day or so. When we're absolutely sure things are clear you can return to Atlantis. I'm going with you to the Alpha site."

"What! You're leaving Sheppard all alone to look after himself and the kid?"

Jennifer rolled her eyes and sighed again. "No, of course not. The rest of my team will be staying here and Carson is on his way. Hopefully, we can give Sheppard and Beth the all clear after that and everyone can go home." Rodney still looked troubled. He had a bad feeling things weren't going to be that simple. They never were.

Of course it wasn't that easy because the minute Ronon and Teyla heard the plan they flatly refused to leave Sheppard behind to face an uncertain future. Jennifer tried her hardest to persuade them but they couldn't be budged.

Even the prospect of seeing Torren again did nothing to change Teyla's mind. She stood with her feet firmly planted on the ground with her hands on her hips. "I will not leave here until I know for sure that John will be all right. However Rodney, I believe you should go with Jennifer and prepare for your wedding." Ronon nodded his head in agreement and said nothing because his face said it all. It would take an army to move him.

One glance at Jennifer's hopeful expression and Rodney reluctantly agreed, although he didn't like it. "I want to see Sheppard before we go. So get me a hazmat suit," he requested.

Jennifer nodded and ended up agreeing to allow Teyla and Ronon to visit him too, even though it meant a rigorous decontamination routine at the end.

John held Beth tightly in his arms and looked up at his hazmat clad team. "What do you mean you're not leaving?"

"I am," Rodney piped up.

"I wasn't referring to you, Rodney. I'm talking about these two stubborn, mule headed team members." He indicated Ronon and Teyla with his free hand. "Do I have to order you both through the damn Gate?!"

Ronon glared at him. "Could try Sheppard."

"John, our place is here with you until we are certain you will be all right."

John lowered his head and rubbed his brow as if he had a headache. "I'm not going to be able to persuade you otherwise am I, even though you can't come anywhere near me and Beth?"

"Nope." Ronon growled.

Teyla's far softer voice followed his. "No, John, you cannot."

"Do you have a headache?" Jennifer asked with concern before John could say anything more.

John stared straight at Teyla and Ronon. "I didn't until these two pigheaded…okay, stay if you must." He turned his attention to Jennifer. "Please take Rodney and leave as soon as possible."

Jennifer moved closer. "I will, and rest assured everyone has your welfare at heart. Carson is coming, so somewhat reluctantly I might add, I'm leaving you in his capable hands." She paused for a minute knowing her next words wouldn't be very welcome. "We've determined that Beth hasn't been affected by the illness, so…."

"You want to take her with you?"

Jennifer knew by his look that he didn't like the idea. "Yes, it's probably for the best."

After some thought, John slowly nodded. Although he was a bit reluctant to give her up as she had kept him occupied. Without her demands he knew the time would drag, allowing negative thoughts to enter his mind. Yet he also knew it was for the best. Resigned, he lifted the little one up and handed her over to Jennifer. Beth immediately started screaming. Struggling with her little legs and holding out her arms to go back to John. Everyone tired to pacify her but her distress just got worse until she was red in the face with tears and anguish.

Seeing how distraught the child had become, John implored. "Let her stay for now! It's really no problem. She keeps me busy."

Teyla knew Beth's anguish was genuine, so having to speak loudly over the continuing screams, she backed John up. "We will also help look after her."

Jennifer nodded and gratefully handed Beth back wondering why the child had become so attached to the colonel in such a short space of time. The little one immediately stopped crying and cuddled into him. "You've got a problem there, Colonel."

"She's the least of my problems. We'll deal with it once we're out of quarantine." John waved them out. "Now leave us in peace."

"What just like that!" Rodney griped. "It could be the last I ever see of you."

"Rodney!" Several voices commented at once.

John looked peeved. "Well, thank you, McKay. I'm not even sick yet and you've written me off."

The scientist took a step forward. He felt a little irked. "Maybe you need your ears testing. I said **could** , I didn't say would."

"Okay, I'll forgive you. I just want you off this planet, safe and sound. That goes for all of you, but seeing as two of you have decided not to follow my orders, I guess I'll have to accept it. Believe me under other circumstances I wouldn't." John gave Teyla a small heartfelt smile in the way of thanks. "However, I understand your concern. Now I'm making one stipulation, should I get ill with this damn virus you're to take Beth far away from me, no matter how much she cries."

"We will, John." Teyla assured him.

Jennifer didn't say anything because if John fell ill it probably wouldn't make any difference at all to the child, only that he wouldn't be able to look after her anymore.

oOo

"Och…this bloody planet gets to me. It reminds me a bit of Scotland when we have a really bad summer, weather-wise." Carson complained as he moved into the shelter that Ronon and Teyla occupied. His hazmat suit dripped a steady stream of water onto the rough ground creating a small puddle.

Teyla looked up from her bed. "It was not like this when we first arrived. In fact it was a beautiful day."

"Really now, you could have fooled me. It's been raining none stop since I arrived yesterday. And it certainly doesn't help when you have to wear all this protective gear. Makes walking a wee bit treacherous."

Teyla had to agree with that. "How much longer do we have to wear it? John seems to be all right."

"Well, he does appear to be okay. However, his blood count is still elevated so I'm afraid until that drops…"

Just then Marie popped her head in. "Doctor, the Colonel wants to go for a small walk to stretch his legs. Is that ok?"

"In this bloody weather he'll catch a death of cold. Tell the silly bugger he can if he really wants to. He knows the drill."

Marie sighed. The drill meant getting him into a spare hazmat suit and trying not to wake Beth while doing it. Yesterday the colonel was just about to leave when she woke up, putting a damper on his plans. He ended up only getting a breath of fresh air by the shelter's entry while the child clung to his neck. Not that he would have had any fresh air in a hazmat suit.

The head nurse arrived back in John's shelter a few minutes later to find him as pale as a ghost. He just sat there staring at his arm. At first Marie wondered what he was looking at and then she saw the reason why he was so alarmed. A little sore about the size of a silver dollar had formed on his forearm. The angry looking sore wasn't far from a recent injury that still hadn't fully healed yet. Although the cut had scabbed over before the current mission it now looked to be spotted with blood as if recently knocked, which John assured her he hadn't. However, his main concern wasn't the cut. He continued to stare at the small sore. It reminded him of the time he turned into a bug, although this sore wasn't scaly or blue toned, it was red looking and already quite tender to the touch. "It wasn't there a few hours ago," he muttered. "And now…."

"I'll get Dr. Beckett." Marie quietly murmured.

TBC

Thanks again for the lovely reviews and to those following the story.


	5. Chapter 5

**Fragile Lives**

 **Chapter 5**

It only took a minute or so for Carson to come rushing in, spraying water and mud all over the ground. He took one look at John's arm and frowned. "We'll need to take a swab and get that analyzed. In the mean time we'll start you on an antibiotic cream and drip because I'm pretty sure that's caused by a bacteria and not the virus." Carson refrained from saying that if it was the bacteria that had caused all the suffering, it hadn't responded very well to any of their antibiotics. _Best not to go there_. Despite that Carson intended to give the colonel a cocktail of some of the most powerful ones they had and hope for the best.

Carson then took John's temperature and listened to his heart before checking his BP. "Well everything's within normal range so maybe the sore is just a one off. How do ya feel within yourself, lad?"

John smiled at that, he really wasn't a lad anymore and he certainly didn't feel like one right now. Deciding to be honest with his friend for once, he replied. "I may not have a temperature right now but I feel kind of shaky inside. Like as if I'm out in a damp, cold place without a warm jacket. Also I have a bit of a muzzy head that's why I wanted to go outside for a while. I did plan on going to that crop of trees a little ways off and removing the hazmat headgear for a few minutes just to take in some fresh air. Guess that's out of the question now?"

"Aye, well, it's raining cats and dogs out there and seeing as ya feeling a wee bit off, I would say that will have to wait until later. Hopefully the weather will clear up sometime before dark."

"I wouldn't bank on it. So what's the verdict? Do you think this virus will take hold and…kill me?"

Carson turned away for a second before looking John straight in the face. He swallowed hard before saying. "We'll have none of that talk now, ya hear me." Then he tried to reassure his friend even though he didn't feel all that confident himself. "Let's try and stay positive because right now it's hard to say what will happen. We only have the description left in the healer's journal and although Teyla is pretty sure of her translation, we can't be certain we have all the facts. Teyla has kindly made a written copy of the necessary pages and they have been sent to the Coalition so that someone can be found to translate the full medical terms the doctor used. It was no good asking any of the survivors because none of them have any medical knowledge. Mind you I'm not so sure how good a doctor he was, but the poor bugger was up against a really nasty illness, one which he unfortunately contracted himself. Seeing as he was so ill, his later entries may not have been all that accurate."

John simply nodded. "So what now? We wait and see? Hasn't it already been longer than he described in his journal. I mean the incubation period."

"Aye, but ya have to remember these people aren't from Earth, John. The environment, their genetics and even their general health could have made a big difference. Also they weren't given any antiviral drugs to help stop the virus in its tracks. I'm hoping if you really do get the infection, it will only be mild and the antibiotics will soon clear up the secondary bacteria." Carson turned away to talk to his nurse. "Talking of which, Marie luv, could you please take a swab and dress the Colonel's arm and then take another blood sample. I need to compare the results with this morning's earlier findings." He turned back to John. "As soon as I know what we're dealing with you'll be on a full course of antibiotics. In the meantime, try not to worry too much."

Typical doctor talk but John didn't say as much. "That's easier said than done, Carson. Over two hundred people died a horrible death not far from here."

Carson had to agree. "Aye, they did. However you've got the best people working on it. I know Dr. Biro hasn't stopped trying to understand the link between the virus and bacteria that made it such a deadly combination back in the town." He patted John on the shoulder with his glove covered hand. "We'll get to the bottom of this and get you back home. I mean what would Atlantis be without its super gene carrying military commander and you have a wedding to attend to as Rodney's best man."

"Yeah, just make sure they go ahead with it even if I'm unable to attend."

Carson simply nodded before he left. However that was one thing he really couldn't promise the man.

oOo

Unfortunately tests showed that the virus had started to well and truly take hold as its presence was now easily detectable in John's blood stream. And no one could have predicted the rate of deterioration. It alarmed Carson more than he liked to admit as he observed John go from no fever and only one skin outbreak to a temperature of 101. He now sported at least eight outbreaks, mainly across his arms and legs, all in the last seven hours.

By nightfall John's fever had risen to 102 despite receiving fever reducing drugs. Then the pain started and Carson was forced to give a low dose of morphine because of its severity. The morphine made John drowsy and thankfully he slipped into a deep slumber shortly after that.

Carson turned a worried face to Marie. "What are we dealing with? The antibiotics are making no impression on the skin outbreaks, whatsoever, and now the virus has really taken hold. What I can't understand is why it was so sudden? I mean…och you know exactly what I'm talking about." He sighed loudly. "We'd best get the wee mite out of here and into Teyla's care."

"I don't think she's going to like that." Marie observed.

"Well, the Colonel isn't going to be in any position to care for her any longer. But there you don't need me telling you how sick the man is, as I'm sure you know. I don't want him left alone for a minute so please arrange for around the clock care."

"I will, doctor. I'll assign Nurse Williams to the first shift."

"Good." Carson went to pick Beth up but she shied away from him and started to cry. "I think it's best if we can arrange care for her on Atlantis or maybe with the Athosians. These hazmat suits are enough to scare the living daylights out of the wee mite."

Having arrived unnoticed a few minutes earlier, Teyla listened intently to Carson's words concerning Beth. However her gaze never left the still form lying on the low camping cot as she stood in the entryway fully clothed in protection gear. Tears clouded her eyes making it difficult to focus as she was unable to wipe them away. She cleared her throat to suggest. "Beth can stay in our shelter for the night and then I will take her through to the Alpha site in the morning. I will return here as soon as she is safely settled with someone she likes as I wish to help care for John." It wasn't a suggestion as she had every intention of doing so.

"Aye, all right that's settled then. However, we'd better put Beth through the decon procedure as her clothing may harbour the virus."

"Are you sure she is free of the virus otherwise?" Teyla wanted to know.

"Her blood work is free and she seems fine. Mind you it's always been clear, which makes me wonder where the Colonel picked up the virus." He stopped for a moment to think. "I suppose it could have been on her clothing or in that bloody drain she was sitting in."

Teyla looked towards John again. "What are his chances, Carson?"

"Right now it's hard to say but rest assured we won't give up on him, no matter what."

Teyla felt another tear slide down her cheek. "I know you will not." She moved towards the little girl and gently reached out for her. Once again Beth shied away, pressing her little body onto her bed while holding on tightly to the covers and her stuff bear.

Teyla knelt and gently spoke to her. "You must come with me as John is far too sick to care for you now." Teyla didn't expect a reaction. However, the child looked at John before turning back to face her. Something must have made her understand because she eventually held out her arms and allowed Teyla to pick her up.

"I believe she understood," Carson commented as Teyla began to slowly leave the shelter. "Don't forget, full decon for both of you and that bear before taking off your hazmat gear. Here take this plastic sheet to protect the wee mite from the rain and put that through decon too."

"Very well, I will not skip the necessary procedures, Carson." Teyla covered Beth and took one last glance at John before leaving the shelter.

Teyla quickly moved toward the decon area doing her best to protect Beth from the rain as it continued to pour from the heavens. Off in the distance, the odd bolt of lightning illuminated the sky. It seemed to be far away as the accompanying thundered came much later and Teyla could hardly hear the distant rumble over the noise of rain drops hitting the waterproof canvas tents. Because of the rain she didn't hear someone shouting at first and when she did, she didn't think it concerned her. The words were garbled by the storm so she carried on walking. Then the shout came again leaving Teyla to wonder why, so she turned around to see who it was. She was surprised to see Dr. Biro frantically waving from the med-lab door. Despite wanting to get Beth out of the rain and into the warm, she moved up the pathway to see what the doctor wanted.

"Oh, thank god I stopped you in time. We must go and speak to Dr. Beckett immediately."

Teyla looked concerned thinking it could be negative news about John. "Is there a problem, Dr. Biro?"

"Oh, there might have been if you had exposed yourself to the child." Lindsay babbled as she started to move off. "Come on, I'll explain everything to Dr. Beckett. I believe he's still in the Colonel's shelter." Teyla nodded and felt her heartbeat raise as she followed the white hazmat clad pathologist.

Carson turned, surprised to see Teyla re-enter the shelter so soon, lead by Dr. Biro. "What's going on then?" he asked with concern.

Beth had been fusing a little on the way back but the moment she saw John, she settled down again. Thankfully that meant Lindsay didn't have to shout over the child's crying. "Fortunately, I managed to stop Ms Emmagan before she took off her hazmat gear or exposed Mr. Dex to the child."

Carson didn't like the sound of that. "Aye, okay and that's important because?"

"Beth is the source of the virus, she's an asymptomatic carrier."

Carson looked shocked as he stared at Lindsay. "Oh and how's that then?"

Teyla didn't understand what that meant. "What is an asymptomatic carrier?

Dr. Biro looked enthusiastic as if she couldn't wait to explain. "An asymptomatic carrier is a person that has contracted an infectious disease but displays no symptoms. Although unaffected themselves, carriers can transmit the disease to others by contact either directly or via food preparation etc... A very good example of that was Typhoid Mary, in the early 1900's she…."

Carson held up his hands. "It's all right, Dr. Biro, I'm sure Teyla gets the picture. What I want to know is how come it's only just been detected? You've had over five days to identify the disease in the child."

Lindsay didn't react angrily or insulted because in her opinion no one could have found it quicker. "Simply because the virus never presented itself in her blood stream, mainly because she didn't develop the illness or any symptoms whatsoever. Unfortunately for the town's people she must be the child from Bellem. When she arrived, she brought the virus with her. Then it interacted with native bacteria to cause the deadly illness we have witnessed. It took a while to find but it's still in her body, even though it could have diminished somewhat by now as I believe she will not be a chronic carrier."

"Well that's good to know," Carson said. "So how did you find the virus if it wasn't in her blood stream?"

"Yesterday with the Colonel and Nurse Williams help I took some tiny samples from her mouth, throat, nose and sinuses." Lindsay vividly remembered the fuss that caused. The child had been very distressed but it had been pain free.

"And the virus was in the mucus membranes?" Carson speculated.

"It took some searching. I eventually found traces of it just before seeing that Ms. Emmagan was about to enter the decon unit with Beth." Lindsay explained. "The alarming thing about this particular virus is the fact that it uses the bacteria as a shield while at the same time destroying the immune system. Once the immune system weakens enough, the bacteria are free to overrun the body hence the worsening outbreaks. While that goes on, the virus continues to slowly destroy the rest of the immune system until the victim is powerless against both the virus and any other bacteria they may encounter. It all leads to extremely high fever, a great deal of pain and eventual death."

Teyla found herself shaking by the time Dr. Biro had finished. What she had described was just plain awful. So what chance did John have?

Beth cuddled in and buried her face on Teyla's shoulder as if she understood the implications. It was truly heartbreaking that such an innocent child could be the source of so much death and suffering. Teyla spared a quick glance over to John and her heart nearly stopped when she realised he been awake to hear Dr. Biro commentary.

Teyla heard him moan and murmur. "Then you'd better shoot me now."

Carson rushed to his friend's side. "Now then like I said before we'll have none of that talk. I told you we won't give up on you. We'll research every avenue and find a damn cure before it gets that bad."

John grabbed Carson's protected arm. "I know that, Carson, only I feel dreadful...like total crap already."

Carson knew for John to admit that it must be really bad. "Aye, lad, I guess ya do. We'll up the morphine dosage to try and keep you pain free."

Although that sounded appealing, John murmured. "So I can sleep the rest of my life away. No, Carson, I don't want to go out like that. Just give me enough to make it manageable. Someone has to kept an eye on Beth seeing as she can't go back to Atlantis or stay with anyone who's unprotected."

"I don't know how long it will be before you're totally incapacitated."

"I will help him, Carson." Teyla quickly added. "Beth seems to accept me now even in hazmat gear so it will not be a problem to care for her in here."

Carson looked concerned. "That could mean spending an awful lot of time in hazmat."

Teyla stepped a little closer to John's bed. "That is a price I am willing to pay. I will also help care for you John."

"I will too." A voice sounded from the entryway. Ronon had been standing there for quite a while. He hadn't caught all of Dr. Biro's comments but he'd heard enough to know that John would need lots of help in a very short space of time. It pained him greatly to think of his friend being brought down by the smallest of life forms. He wanted to rant and vent his rage at the injustice of it. Yet that was pointless as it was the nature of life. He would do anything he could to help his friend through this, one way or another. "So what's the procedure, doc?"

Carson turned to the big man, thankful to see he was in full gear. Then he turned back to John so he could address him too. "Well, Dr. Biro here is going to carry on looking for the answer and hopefully a cure. I'll be helping her when I'm not required to…to be in here."

"I'd like to take a bone marrow extraction from Beth. It may help me understand why the child is immune." Dr. Biro requested.

John raised himself up slightly, which caused more discomfort than he would have liked. He tried his best to hide it as he said. "No way, you're not putting her through that."

Carson held up his hand to stop Lindsay's objection before it started. "Dr. Biro is right, John, it could very well tell us a lot about Beth's immune system and why she's resistant against the virus. It's a fairly simple procedure and can be performed under a general anaesthetic or we can encourage stem cell release from her bone marrow using drugs."

"Don't like the sound of that either." John whispered as he collapsed back on the cot. The thing was so darn hard and terribly uncomfortable. It certainly didn't help ease the pain that radiated from a very sore spot on his lower back.

Carson saw John's discomfort and knew what he had to do. He nodded to Dr. Biro, technically giving her the go-ahead to take whatever samples she needed. He would make sure that the wee mite was treated with utmost care during the procedure. "Right then," Carson bent over John where an IV port entered the back of his hand and took out a syringe, "I'm giving you a shot of morphine and no arguments. Then I'm going to get a more comfortable bed sent from Atlantis, a proper hospital bed. It should help to ease the pain I know you're feeling even though you'd never admit it."

John had no argument there. He just wanted to switch off from the awful feeling of dread and sickness. He caught Teyla's eye and tried to smile but it turned into a grimace as a stabbing pain shot up his arm. Beth started to cry at that moment so Teyla put her down. Without warning the little girl trotted over to John and climbed up next to him. Teyla quickly moved to reclaim the child but John shook his head and wrapped his arm carefully around her shoulder, within minutes Beth was fast asleep. John sighed and sank into an uneasy sleep once the morphine took effect.

Carson gave a small smile before turning to Teyla. "You should take the opportunity to get out of hazmat and then get bite to eat. I'll contact Atlantis and fill them in on the latest developments and get a bed arranged."

"What about those samples, Dr. Beckett?"

"They can wait a few more hours. In the mean time you've still got the blood samples to work with. Okay, Dr. Biro?" She nodded and left. "Ronon, could you stay here and keep an eye on things. I don't suppose they'll wake anytime soon but fetch me the minute there's any trouble. Nurse Williams will be along in a minute to keep you company. Oh and in future full decon procedure before and after coming in here. We don't want to expose the Colonel to any other bacteria once his immune system has been totally compromised." Everyone nodded their understanding.

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

Fragile Lives

Chapter 6

Mr. Woolsey stared at his computer screen yet none of the words really registered. Despite normally having a good command on his emotions, he felt sick with worried. Meaning it didn't matter how hard he tried to concentrate on the mundane report before him, he just couldn't. Not when his military commander lay at deaths door, yet again.

The news out of Calabria had been abysmal. Just like the weather apparently, always dull and never a ray of sunshine or hope. Coincidently high winds and rain had also lashed this region of M3J 779 or Lantea III for days now. So even though the planets were many light years apart they seemed to be in sync. The water drenched city appeared forlorn, lifeless even as if she truly missed the soul that gave her energy and strength. The strong winds gusting, howling around her towers only added a mournful reminder of what already seemed lost. The dark, turbulent sky and rough inky black sea added the final touch to the dismal scene.

Finally giving up on the report, Richard switched off his computer and sighed because although there had been times when his patience had run thin when dealing with John Sheppard, he knew for sure that no other could have done such a splendid job of running the military these past last six and a half difficult years. On the other hand life was terribly tenuous out in Pegasus. The fact that every time someone stepped through the Gate it could be their last, although Richard had never expected Sheppard to maybe die in such a way. Killed by the Genii or fed on by the Wraith, certainly a distinct possibility but a virus? Although in a way it shouldn't have surprised him. It was small miracle that only a few had died that way to date, the Kirsan fever being the nastiest having claimed a botanist and several service personnel. A miracle indeed, after all there must be thousands of microbes out there just waiting for a host and the humans from Earth were no better protected than the natives. In fact, they were probably worse off having little or no immunity.

A gentle knock alerted him to someone's presence. Richard glanced up and sighed when he saw Rodney McKay standing before him yet again. Only this time he had Jennifer Keller with him. "What can I do for you now?" he asked patiently even if he didn't feel that courteous as it had only been a few hours since McKay's last visit.

"May we sit down?" Jennifer asked politely.

When she used that tone, Woolsey couldn't very well refuse her. He waved them both towards the empty chairs placed before his desk. "Please do. So?"

"We're postponing our wedding." Rodney blurted out. "It's less than a week now and in all honesty we can't celebrate our marriage while most of…my team, our friends are offworld."

Richard wasn't the least surprised by the announcement. "Are you absolutely sure?" he asked anyway.

"Yes, we are," Jennifer piped up before Rodney could. "I didn't book the honeymoon anyway as I had a feeling thing's wouldn't…well, I just wish I hadn't been right about that one."

"You know that's not what Colonel Sheppard wanted. He wanted you to go ahead with the wedding, no matter what. However, I fully understand your feelings on the matter and I totally agree with your decision. It just wouldn't be right somehow to celebrate while the Colonel fights for his life or heaven forbid had just lost the battle."

Rodney grew pale and whispered. "Looks like he might have."

Jennifer turned to look directly at her fiancé. "Let's not give up on him just yet, Rodney. That's another reason why we've come to see you, Mr. Woolsey. We'd like to make a trip to Bellem. I want to gather as much information as possible about the virus and hopefully get some blood samples from the survivors. I believe there has to be some way to beat this and that planet could very well hold the answer."

Mr. Woolsey nodded. "By all means and take whatever you deem necessary in the way of personnel and equipment. And good luck to you both, I hope you find a cure."

Rodney stood up before muttering. "I just hope we have the time." He had talked this over with Jennifer and knew the facts. It would take a miracle indeed.

oOo

Heavy rain continued to strike the canvas roof causing an awful drumming clatter. From time to time lightning flashed overhead casting everything in a short eerie glow. It was followed minutes later by loud, ground shaking thunder that rattled the shelter along with the high winds. Ronon had listened to it now for hours on end and his tolerance was running very thin. Granted the hazmat suit muffled the noise somewhat but it still grated on his nerves. The fact that he had to stay in the confining suit also peeved him. Nevertheless, he wasn't stupid enough to believe it wasn't necessity. Ronon knew he was just as vulnerable to the disease as anyone else and seeing how it had brought his friend down so easily, there was no way he'd risk exposing himself to that.

He spared a glance at Teyla as she rested awkwardly in full gear on top of a low lying camp bed, one arm tightly wrapped protectively around Beth as the child fitfully slept. Even Beth had understood that she could no longer cuddle into Sheppard because of the sores that now covered his body and his high fever. It was difficult enough for them all to witness but for Teyla? Ronon knew without doubt that this was tearing her apart, yet despite that she tried so hard not to let it bring her down. It gave him relief to know she had such strength of character but nevertheless, Ronon vowed to be there for her throughout the ordeal and to help her should the worse happen and they lost Sheppard.

Thinking of his friend, the big Satedan turned to gaze towards the restless man. For the last thirty hours or so he had watched Sheppard slowly degenerate before his eyes. From the vibrant, masterful leader, strong and healthy to the pale gaunt faced, fever ridden, shell of a man. It was heartbreaking for Ronon to watch. Although he vowed never to abandon his friend until the last breath had left his ravaged body.

Ronon moved over to stand nearer to Sheppard's bed. "Will this rain ever end?" he quietly questioned the attending nurse who was busily adjusting the monitoring equipment that now stood around Sheppard's hospital bed.

Patty Williams simply shook her head and spoke quietly. "I don't think so. Could you watch things for a few minutes as I have to go and get some more antibiotic cream? We're using the stuff quicker than they can supply it and it's hardly doing a thing to keep the Colonel's infections at bay."

"Go ahead," Ronon growled. "Mind the mud along the way, it's getting slippery. And don't stay out in the open that storm is really bad."

"Oh believe me I won't."

Putting his back towards the bed, Ronon turned to watch her go. Nurse Williams was an attractive woman with shoulder length blond hair and blue eyes. If he didn't already have a partner he would have considered asking her out, although he would never do that to Amelia as he truly loved her and missed her greatly.

Deep in thought Ronon never noticed Sheppard's hand slowly reaching for his weapon, which was loosely placed in the gun holster around his hips.

oOo

John had been aware now for the last few minutes. At least he thought so, being on morphine made it harder to distinguish between wakefulness or groggily drifting on a sea of confused agony. As pain was now his constant companion, restful sleep was virtually impossible.

Carson had kept the morphine at its current level for fear of overdosing and possible addiction, telling him that it was already at the safe maximum dosage. John would have laughed at that if he could have, as if it would make any difference. Instead he had mumbled something about a dying man not having to worry about addiction or simply not waking up from too much of the stuff. The good doctor had still flatly refused, meaning the morphine just wasn't working very well anymore. All John now felt was endless pain and a strange sense of losing reality. Whenever he drifted in a semi-sleep like state, ghosts or zombie like figures plagued his fevered brain, like the Walking Dead. They mocked him, told him they were waiting for him to join them. At times his confused mind would conjure up images of Wraith and other prominent foes. Koyla figured most of all being the ring leader of the sickly gang.

The images seemed never ending and John wondered how long it would be before he lost his mind completely. He only knew that death would be better than this living nightmare. Death would bring peace from the images, no more pain, no more bleeding wounds and no more stench of infection. John knew he was dying; it was just taking far too long. This was not the way he ever wanted to go, far better to die quickly in a gunfight or a jumper crash. So when he eventually cracked open his pain filled eyes to see Ronon's gun a tantalising short distance from his hand, he focused totally on it and carefully reached for it.

With the end of his nightmare in sight, John ignored the dreadful pain that shot up from his swollen wrist and by some miracle, he actually managed to grasp the gun and pull it out of its holster without dropping it. He eased it carefully over his bed being as quiet as he could until it rested by his side. It appeared Ronon still hadn't noticed. John didn't know why. He was only very grateful for the opportunity made possible because of Ronon's unusual lack of attention, John turned the gun around until the barrel of the energy weapon rested against his chest. Hoping the gun wasn't set to stun, he made to pull the trigger but before he could act, a hand gently pushed the barrel away. It took no effort at all and John didn't have the strength to turn it back on himself.

Ronon's voice growled. "You don't want to do that."

"Fucking well…do. Now…let…me finish it. Pleassse."

"That's not the answer. You're giving up…I never thought I'd see the day."

John felt lightheaded and started to shake uncontrollably. His voice sounded weak and broken when he stammered breathlessly. "You'd…do…same…in my place. Can't take…anymore. Ronon. Pleassse…I…beg you."

"John?" Teyla quickly moved to his side clutching Beth against her chest. She had woken from her restless slumber just in time to hear the exchange of words. Blood drained from her face when she realised what John had intended to do. To say she was shocked went beyond words, yet in a way she understood his desperate need to end the suffering. "Ronon, go and get Dr. Beckett will you please."

Ronon nodded and placed his gun back into the holster that was loosely fastened over his hazmat suit. "It was set on stun anyway," he muttered softly before leaving.

John never heard the comment. Teyla did and was thankful, although she shuddered to think what even a stun blast would do to someone so desperately ill. She carefully lowered herself onto a chair placed by John's bed. Beth wanted to go to him but Teyla held her close while she reached out to smooth back John's unruly hair from his fever soaked brow. He was still shaking uncontrollably and now seemed to have sunk into a half, wakeful stupor. At least she thought so until he murmured. "No more…pleassse, Teyla…" Tears began to slowly trickle down his face as he turned to look at her with his sunken, red rimmed eyes.

Teyla had never seen John cry before no matter the situation. The fact that he was doing it now meant his suffering was just plain unbearable or the virus was having an adverse emotional effect on him. She wanted to ease it for him, yet she didn't know how to or what to say to give him solace. In the end she gathered her thoughts and murmured. "Please do not leave me. I know I am being very selfish but I beg you to fight this for my sake. I have already lost one I loved, I will not lose another." Her voice nearly broke with emotion.

At first her words didn't truly register in John's muddled, aching brain. When they finally did, he felt a fresh tear slide down his cheek. So she did love him, only now it was too late. "Can't fight it anymore." He managed to say without a falter.

Carson quickly moved to John's side having heard his last sentence. "We will help you, John. I know you're feeling absolutely dreadful, but I want you to hold on for as long as you can. Dr. Keller is back on Atlantis having has just returned from Bellem. Jennifer along with several others has started to formulate a drug using antibodies from several virus survivors. It may not be a cure but hopefully it will buy us the time we need to study the virus. Dr. Biro also believes she's close to making the connection and understanding why the wee mite isn't sick. It seems something about her genetic makeup has helped her immune system cope with the illness. If we can isolate the gene responsible then…," Carson stopped there knowing that John was in too much pain to take it all in. "Just hold on for us, please John."

Instead of answering, John swallowed hard and let out a long groan as gripping pain rippled through his chest. Eventually, he was able to form a few breathless words. "Getting…hard to."

Carson could see that. He turned a worried look to the room's other occupants and moved out of John's earshot before whispering. "Hopefully Jennifer will be here within the next ten hours or so. To tie him over I'll administer a slightly higher dose of morphine but I daren't go any further. It will either help or bring no relief whatsoever. At least it might knock him out for a few hours."

"Do you think Jennifer's treatment will really help?" Teyla asked hopefully.

"To be honest I don't really know as it's hard to say how his body will react. Normally we would test such treatments before using them but in this case we haven't got that luxury." Carson sighed. "I only know that the virus is deadly here on Calabria, at least in this region. We have to find out why. I've got another team currently in the town in order to collect samples of water or anything they deem a likely source for the bacteria. Unfortunately the bloody weather is making things difficult for them. They managed to get a few samples before the latest storm struck but now they're having to wait until it passes before they can proceed any further. Apparently it's not very pleasant there right now because of the mud and well, well you can guess. Not surprisingly, no one is complaining though."

"Yeah they wouldn't." Ronon looked thoughtful. "What if we knock him out with a stun blast or drugs?"

"I see your reasoning, Ronon. Unfortunately in this case it could well be the final nail in the coffin." Both Pegasus natives looked perplexed not really understanding the true significance of the phrase, so Carson explained. "It's an English saying which usually refers to relationships or employment. Like he forgot her birthday again, so that was the final nail in the coffin and she left him for good. In this case, I've used it to say that such an action could literally put John in a coffin simply because the strain on his weakened body would be too much for him to bear, especially from a stun blast. Barbiturates wouldn't be much better because they also cause a certain amount of stress on the system. In slightly better circumstances I might have done it but we're dealing with the unknown and lord knows how his body would react. No, I'm afraid our hands are tied on this one. I can only hope we come up with a cure in the next couple of days, otherwise…." Carson didn't say more.

Teyla's eyes filled again and Beth clung to her tightly as if she understood. "I will help Marie and the others as we continue to cool him," she managed to get out.

"Aye that's the important thing at the moment, keeping the fever within a certain range. If it goes any higher he could become delirious or worse, suffer brain damage."

"We could put him in one of those stasis pods on Atlantis like we did with you?" Ronon suddenly suggested.

"Aye, we've talked about that too. But Rodney pointed out that despite John being the cities favourite son, she would still go into lock-down before we even reached the hibernation chamber. And beaming him in is out of the question as none of the Earth ships are here at the moment."

"Can Rodney not override the system?" Teyla asked, hopefully.

"Unfortunately, no. I understand he changed the protocols some years back to make it even more sensitive towards diseases but that resulted in a malfunction and quarantine. He assures me that the city wouldn't let him remove the protocols entirely. It could also expose the general population to the virus. John would be the last one to want that." Both Teyla and Ronon well remembered the quarantine and the problems it caused. They both nodded and looked downcast at the thought that they couldn't transport John into a pod.

Then Teyla had an idea. "What if we encase John in a hazmat suit and put him through decon. The city would not go into lockdown if he were taken home that way."

Carson slowly shook his head. "The idea is a sound one, Teyla luv, but once again I have to say no because I don't think his body could take the strain. Hazmat suits are uncomfortable enough for a strong, healthy person to wear. The hard material would rub John's sores and cause him greater pain even if we protect them with padding. They could bleed a great deal and add blood lose to his many problems. Then there would be the predicament of getting him into the pod because he would still have to wear hazmat to prevent the city from going into lockdown. And even though the pod slows cellular degeneration it doesn't stop entirely. That's why the Elizabeth we found in stasis had aged so much. Meaning any damage done to his sores during transportation would continue slowly while John was in the pod." Carson felt disheartened. He was at a loss to know how to help.

Ronon broke the silence that had followed to make another suggestion. "Can't we get a pod to Sheppard?"

"Again we don't have a portable one. An Ancestral ship might but we don't have one of those either."

"The Travellers have a ship. I am sure Larrin would help." Teyla suggested before Ronon could.

Once again, Carson slowly shook his head and looked at them sadly. "They did have or have you forgotten their Lantean ship was destroyed when a Stargate blown up after the Attero device was activated." Both Teyla and Ronon looked despondent having totally forgotten that small detail.

At that moment John gave another loud, pain filled groan and Carson quickly moved to his side. "Right let's get some more morphine into you, lad." John didn't seem to hear him as he continued to fight the countless demons that plagued his fever ravaged brain.

TBC

 **Do hope the medical terms aren't totally off. I'm not a doctor or remotely connected with the medical world. _Thank goodness for Google._ Thanks for reading so far and please keep those reviewing coming. Happy Easter to those who celebrate and hope you all have a lovely holiday weekend. Next chapter will be up after Easter. **


	7. Chapter 7

**Fragile Lives**

 **Chapter 7**

Carson had never been so happy to see the Stargate activate and a jumper emerge. A big smile spread across his face knowing it was carrying Dr. Keller and the much needed medicine. As it swung around looking for a suitable landing spot, Carson was surprised to see Rodney piloting with Jennifer by his side in the co-pilot's seat. Carson winced wondering how Rodney would cope in the high winds. However, he needn't have worried as his friend's abilities had improved greatly over the years and Rodney managed to land the craft without incident just a short distance from the Gate. The back ramp slowly lowered a few minutes later. Carson hastened towards it, having to stoop low against the driving rain. He didn't know why the hypochondriac prone scientist was back but he wouldn't question it and risk getting an unnecessary stream of time wasting chatter. They were already running later than Carson would have liked, as developing the drug had proven more complex than anticipated.

After greeting Jennifer who was already dressed in a hazmat suit apart from the headgear, Carson quickly moved to the cockpit to speak to his friend. "You'd best be staying in the Jumper for now, Rodney, and you'll be well out of this bloody weather."

The scientist turned to look at him. He seemed forlorn and for the first time Carson could remember, awfully quiet. His simply replied. "Yes, yes, of course. When you're ready I'd really like to see him though."

Carson lowered his head. "We'll see," he quietly responded before nodding to Jennifer who was waiting for him near the ramp. They quickly left before Rodney had a chance to ask why visiting Sheppard might not be possible. The Scottish doctor wasted no time in ushering his colleague toward the decon unit where she could get scrubbed up. John desperately needed something and quickly before his condition could deteriorate even further.

Jennifer seemed pretty quiet too as she emerged from the unit. "How is he truthfully, Carson? I know you've been sending reports but I got the impression things are far worse." Jennifer eventually asked as she adjusted her protective headgear.

"Aye that they are. He had a wee seizure about an hour ago due to his fever spiking at over 106. We managed to get it back down to 105 with cooling pads and sponging. It's difficult though due to the nasty skin outbreaks, they bleed very easily when touched. I've also been administering fever reducing drugs but unfortunately they don't seem to be helping that much."

"How long do you think we've got?"

Carson looked at his feet. "No more than fifteen to twenty hours I would say."

Jennifer sighed. "That short? I'm really not sure this drug will work that quickly, if at all. How's Dr. Biro's research coming along?"

"Well there's a bit of better news on that front. Whether it will actually be of use to John is another matter but the source of the bacteria is definitely in the town's water supply."

Jennifer didn't look at all surprised. "Like Legionnaires', Pontiac fever or any of the other waterborne bacterial deceases on Earth, I should have guessed. Beth was sitting in a drain when Sheppard rescued her."

"Aye seems the plumbing in Tandria leaves much to be desired. We've near enough proven that it's not the virus that killed most of the people but a combination of both." Then Carson suddenly realised how futile trying to cure the virus would be. They needed to address the bacterial infection and quickly. Unfortunately to date none of their antibiotics had touched it.

As if reading his mind, Jennifer said. "I also brought a new type of antibiotic Dr. Rossmann has developed. It may help fight the bacteria infection or like the others we've tried, do nothing at all. There's no sign of gangrene yet, I hope?"

Carson looked at her a little concerned. "One leg wound is not looking too good but so far we've managed to keep it at bay." He paused to take a deep breath. "What's of great concern to me is the effect the illness is having on his mental state. I wasn't going to mention this at first but decided to do so when we could talk face to face. Please keep what I'm about to tell you to yourself as I'd hate for word of this to get around Atlantis. Some of his men might not understand. Also Rodney," he quietly added.

Jennifer looked worriedly at her colleague. "What is it?"

Carson took a deep breath. "A few days ago John tired to end his life using Ronon's gun. Luckily, he was too weak to complete the task before Ronon intercepted."

Jennifer considered Carson's words for a moment, she wasn't that surprised by the news. "Well, we know from the healer's journal that some people took that course of action, so maybe the virus does have an adverse effect on the brains chemistry."

"Aye that's what I was thinking because I would never have thought John Sheppard was a man to take his own life. Suicide missions to save Atlantis or Earth are one thing but he's not a man to give up without a darn good fight. I've witnessed it too many times to be sure of that."

"Unless the pain was just too much to bear, Carson. Who are we to judge?" Jennifer sighed and a single tear rolled down her face. She felt a great respect for Sheppard, so to know that he was so desperate was heart breaking. "I won't mention a word. Okay, let's go and administer the new treatments, and pray for a miracle."

Jennifer was shocked when she saw the colonel. She knew it would be bad but the man lying before her was unrecognizable from the handsome, vibrant man she knew so well. His usually spiky hair lay flat and greasy against his scalp. Below his sunken eyes, he looked ashen except for the flushed appearance of his cheeks and brow. Day's old stubble added to the overall look of sickness, obviously they hadn't tried to shave him recently. Most disturbing of all were the dreadful skin sores and lesions that seemed to cover his exposed areas. Jennifer dreaded to think what his torso looked like under the thin sheet that covered him.

Teyla hastened to her side. "Please tell me you have a cure?"

Jennifer looked at Teyla's pale, distressed face and took a deep breath. "We have a few things we can try but I'm sorry there's no guarantee." She turned to Carson. "Is he unconscious must of the time now?"

"Unfortunately not. I administered a stronger dose of morphine just after his seizure and it seems to have knocked him out. I guess the effects will begin to wear off soon enough though and…" Just as he said that John began to wake with a prolonged cry of pain. "Oh Lord, I was hoping he'd stay out a wee bit longer."

Carson went over to the bed to check on his patient. John caught the movement and tried to grab onto Carson's hazmat suit. He missed and his hand fell painfully against the bedrail that had been put up to prevent him from falling out during a seizure. It got the doctor's attention though and John turned pain filled, blood shot eyes towards his friend. "Please…end it…." The last word ended in a coughing fit that left John panting for breath.

Jennifer quickly moved around to the IV attached to John's arm and injected several items into the port. She looked down at him and quietly spoke. "I've just given you the first dose of an antibody drug and a new antibiotic. We're hoping the combination will help you overcome the sickness. The drugs haven't been tested though." She wasn't sure whether John understood her or not.

It was several minutes before he answered her in a whispered tone. "Notin' to…lous. Jus…wannaaa…eeendd." John's last words were heavily slurred.

Both Jennifer and Carson quickly checked the monitors fearing he might be heading for a stroke. Luckily that didn't seem to be the case, but they began to wonder if the drugs were causing it. Jennifer gently held his hand being careful not to move it too much. "John, I want you to fight this and believe that the drugs will make you well again."

John tried to look at her. All he saw was a blurry figure that faded in and out. He gave up and began to drift until suddenly a deep penetrating pain rolled through his stomach, bringing him abruptly out of his stupor. He grasped at the intensity of it. A scream, he simply could not control, escaped through his lips. His hands clenched the sheet under him and he screamed again when another spasm hit.

The doctors threw each other another worried look and quickly got to work to try and easy their patients suffering. Teyla felt tears stream down her face at John's continuing screams. She clutched Beth tightly to her as she quickly took the child out of the shelter. Luckily, the rain had begun to ease off into a light drizzle, so she was able to carefully step around some of the muddiest areas to take the child further away from the noise. The distance muffled the screams somewhat, although she could still hear them. Beth would probably get a little damp but that was better than having to witness John's dreadful agony and what could be his death throes. Teyla honesty began to wonder if this truly was the end for him. She turned her hazmat covered face toward the grey sky and let more tears flow down her cheeks. Why hadn't she told him how much she cared for him, loved him before this illness had struck him down. Now it was probably too late.

Ronon joined her a moment later. He gently covered the small child with an extra blanket, which was something she should have done before leaving the tent. Only that she wanted to get away as quickly as possible and not have to watch or hear John's suffering. Ronon pulled her close and held her as she wept. Beth remained quiet between them as if she understood the reason for their sorrow.

After a while, Ronon suggested. "Why don't you go and try to sleep. I'll look after Beth for a while."

Although somewhat reluctant, Teyla nodded. She longed to wipe the wetness from her face and being fully suited prevented it. She sniffed to clear her blocked nose. "If only we could take these awful suits off and hold each other normally."

It was Ronon's turn to nod in agreement. "Yeah, but we can't take any chances 'cause little Beth could still be carrying the damn virus. I'll keep her warm out here until it's…quieter to go back inside."

Muffled cries could still be heard. However, they seemed to have lost some of their volume. Teyla just hoped John would find relief in sleep soon. She longed to get out of hazmat but that meant going through the lengthy business of decontamination. "When John has quietened I will try to sleep on the extra cot in his shelter again."

"Oh no, you don't. Now go through decon and get some rest in our shelter. If anything changes I'll come get you."

Even though Teyla was ready to drop, she stated. "I do not think I could sleep right now anyway."

Ronon sighed and would have rubbed his forehead if he could have reached it. "You've been up for hours now and are really tired, just give it a chance. You'll be no good to Sheppard if you're dead on your feet."

Teyla knew there was wisdom in Ronon's words. Reluctantly, she handed Beth over and headed for the decon unit. Twenty minutes later, she was clean and wearing fleshly laundered scrubs. Her bed looked so inviting but first she stood by the entryway trying to gauge if John was still suffering. It seemed quiet and she noted that the rain had actually stopped for the first time in days, although the sky still looked heavy with clouds. She could just make out Ronon's hazmat figure over by the crop of trees behind the small shelter that housed John. Beth was in his arms and they were looking up at the branches. Teyla wondered what they had seen, maybe a bird or creature of some kind.

Another tear rolled down her cheek and she didn't attempt wipe it away as she spoke a quiet prayer to the Ancestors before moving over to her bed. Lying down, she threw the cover up over her head to cut out some of the light and to keep out the chill that prevailed in the draughty tent. Despite her concerns, she soon drifted off without even realising it.

oOo

"Teyla." A voice called. A voice so familiar, yet it took her a moment to register who it was.

She turned and looked at the tall figure of the handsome man before her, he seemed to be unblemished by any skin outbreaks. "John? What are you doing here? Should you not be in bed?"

John looked around at the sunny green pastures beyond her tent. "On a nice day like this? Unless of course…." He winked.

Teyla did a double take and felt a blush burn her cheeks. "I will ask again, why are you here?"

He looked embarrassed as if he suddenly realised how flirty his action had been. Nevertheless, he smiled. "I guess…I came to set the record straight before I have to leave."

Her heart suddenly felt cold. "Why do you have to leave? Where are you going?"

For a moment John looked bewildered as if he didn't know the answer to those questions. "Sometimes it's necessary to simply walk away and in this case I think it's for the best."

She didn't really understand what he meant by that. "I will ask you again, where are you going?"

John turned his head slightly before looking down at his bare feet. "I…I don't really…know. Through the Gate…I guess."

Teyla frowned. "You have to have an address before you can do that."

He seemed distracted for a moment as if looking at something or someone that Teyla couldn't see. "She will provide it, no doubt. After all she is the one who wants me to leave."

"Who is she?" Teyla asked even more mystified by this very strange conversation.

John seemed to mull over his answer. "It's not important. I just came to tell you that I've been a real idiot all these years. You…" He hesitated for a moment. "You know…I…er…told you once that I'm not good at expressing my feelings. That's so true. Only now…oh damn it, why can't I just get this out." He took a deep breath. "I should have told you a long time ago and now it's too late but I have always loved you. Yet for some reason I kept you at arm's length and even flirted with other women. Then my heart broke when you gave your love to another. There I've said it and….I'm so…so…sorry."

Teyla sat up with a start. "John!" Her shout was loud but he was no longer there in her dreams or otherwise. Tears streamed down her face as she quickly left her bed to hastily dress in hazmat. Forgoing decon as there just wasn't time, she rushed over to the quarantine shelter.

Carson wiped blood off the paddles before putting them back on the defibrillator. He turned to face her. "I'm sorry, Teyla, he's gone."

Teyla turned to look at the white sheet covering the figure on the bed and collapsed.

TBC

 _I know a_ _n evil cliffy but please stay tuned._


	8. Chapter 8

**Fragile Lives**

 **Chapter 8**

A large hand gently shook her shoulder encouraging her to wake up. "Teyla? Are you gonna to sleep forever?"

She woke with a start, not really knowing where she was for a moment. Groggily, Teyla lifted her head from the damp pillow and turned red rimmed eyes toward Ronon. "How long have I slept?"

"Twelve hours straight. Not such a bad thing as you needed it."

Teyla didn't quite agree with him as she felt drained and still exhausted despite having so much sleep. Maybe she'd had too much. At least it had been an escape from the awful truth. Although she couldn't quite remember all of the details, the main fact still remained. John was dead. Her emotions suddenly bubbled to the surface and she felt overwhelmed, weighed down as if the weight of the universe lay upon her soul. Tears began to form as she managed to choke out. "Beth?"

"Fine. She's with a nurse at the moment and Dr. Biro reckons she's nearly free of the virus for good. So she can join us in here soon."

"That is good." Teyla took a moment to calm her emotional upheaval, and then although she didn't feel like it, she prepared to rise. "Maybe we can take her back to Atlantis soon then. I must get dressed and help care for her." Resting her elbow on the mattress, she hesitated for a moment wondering how best to approach her next question. Tears threatened to overwhelm her again as she began to say. "What arrangements are they making…," her voice nearly broke, "for...for John's funeral. I believe he cannot be taken back to Atlantis."

Ronon looked at her strangely, wondering why she would ask that. "Hey don't write him off just yet. He actually made it through the night. The docs are more hopeful because of that."

Teyla stared at him in shock, suddenly feeling giddy with hope. _Could it be true? Had it all been just a very, very_ _vivid dream?_ Yet it had seemed so real. She looked intently at Ronon's optimistic face. "John is not dead?" He shook his head, looking puzzled until Teyla explained more. "I honestly thought he was gone. He…he came to say goodbye to me. Then I saw his body covered with a sheet. I was so sure…it must have been just a dreadful, awful dream."

"Really? Guess you would think that then."

Teyla moved out of the bed and stretched to ease her cramped muscles. "It seemed so real." She repeated, then whispered. "I wonder what it really meant."

Ronon gave her a quick hug. "Well, he's not out of danger yet. Though gotta stay positive."

"Yes, I just hope my dream was not a foretelling of future events."

Ronon didn't have anything to say to that, he wasn't good with strange mystical connections and the like. He simply indicated the tray of food he had brought her, telling her to have breakfast before suiting up. Then he left her to eat and get ready in peace.

oOo

High overhead an extremely intense beam of light appeared to focus its power far to close even as a strange, grey mist swirled around his feet. When he dared to focus his gaze upwards, he saw a large yellow sun that hung in a cloudless sky. Surprisingly, he still felt frigid despite the heat from the sun. So cold that he closed his eyes and turned his face skywards to try and soak up some warmth. It helped a little.

A moment later or maybe hours as it was hard to tell, he finally felt slightly warmer. Opening his eyes, he slowly lowered his head to look around. He recognised nothing in the bare, misty landscape that stretch far away into the distance, so he had no idea where he was or how he'd gotten here. However, he sensed he wasn't alone.

"John, it is time." An adamant female voice called out to him.

John frowned and looked straight ahead at the pretty woman who suddenly appeared directly before him. "Oh come on. I'm not ready to go just yet and who said I wanted to go? Despite the mist, this place isn't too bad." Then he thought about the place he was at before and added. "Besides here it's much cooler than the other place was." Although, he had no idea where that place was supposed to be; only that he'd been there before being here, wherever here was?

The female spoke up again. "Because if you do not go soon you will never be able to leave that place and this level of existence will not stay like this forever."

Suddenly another woman appeared out of the mist. "That is not true and you know it, Teer."

"Halfway between ascension and death is no place to stay Chaya. You of all people should know that."

Chaya pouted her lips, which John could never remember seeing her do before. "I am fully ascended." She sounded insulted.

Teer shook her head. "Ascended but condemned to look after your people for eternity. That's almost no better than being lost to death. And if I do not help John to fully ascend death will be his fate."

"John may still survive the illness. It is wrong to encourage him to go before he is ready or totally willing to."

John blinked. He liked being surrounded by beautiful woman who obviously cared about him but did they have to fight over his existence. He guessed they both loved him and in their own way were trying to help. He thought of another. _Teyla?_ _Where was she?_ John frowned as the woman he truly wanted to see simply wasn't here? He thought he'd been with her, sharing a sad moment with her only moments ago or was that some other time? No, he would not leave and never see Teyla and his friends again, even if for only a few minutes before death could finally take him. Mind made up, he looked Teer straight in the eye. "Chaya's right. I think I'll stay here for now, thank you very much."

Teer glared, making her appear suddenly quite ugly. Then she suddenly turned to go. "So be it. It saddens me to think you prefer death over an eternity with me, John. We will not meet again even if you somehow survive this and decide to ascend later." Then she was gone.

John got the distinct impression he'd just been well and truly shunned. In a way it hurt because he had genuinely liked Teer while stuck in the cloister. But there was a great difference between liking someone and loving them, and in all honesty he never truly loved her. He slowly turned to Chaya to ask her what to do next. However, she seemed to be departing too as she was already some distance away.

Her voice drifted over the mist like a loud echo. "Flight this John and live for her sake."

 _Easier said than done,_ he thought as he watched her glowing form disappear into a distant Stargate, which really hadn't been there a moment ago. _Maybe he should use it too?_ Suddenly he felt too tired to even put one foot in front of the other. So he decided to stay a while, sit down and soak up some more of the healing sun before returning to the hell that he now realised was where his body lay.

oOo

Teyla picked Beth up and the child immediately threw her arms around her neck. "I am happy to see you also, little one." She glanced over to the hospital bed where John lay so motionless. The monitor showed that at least life still flowed through him as it recorded his sluggish vitals. Then he moved and moaned slightly in his sleep. She thought she heard him utter a name. It sounded a bit like Chaya.

As Teyla continued to watch, the scene suddenly changed and an image of John's body totally covered in a white sheet flashed before her eyes. She went as cold as ice and felt quite dizzy. She made to grab onto something but came up empty. Marie noticed her white complexion and unsteady stance. The nurse quickly took Beth out of Teyla's arms, telling her to sit down with her head between her knees. Teyla did so and a few minutes later, she began to feel better. When she looked up, Carson was standing directly over her looking very concerned.

"Are you okay, luv? Have you any symptoms apart from feeling faint?" He looked frustrated. "Och…these bloody suits don't allow me to do a full exam. If you have any other problems we'll need to get you out of it and…."

Teyla waved him off. "I am fine now, Carson." He looked at her a little sceptical. However, how could she explain the dream and images she'd been having. "I probably slept too long or ate my breakfast too quickly. I am also very worried by John's continuing fever and sickness."

"Aye, it's a stubborn one alright. A stubborn illness for a stubborn man. By rights he should have succumb to it days ago because according to the doctor's journal all other victims died within two days of contracting the illness. Mind you they wouldn't have been given antiviral drugs or anything else."

"I am very grateful he is so stubborn." Teyla looked up, turning her worried but hopeful eyes to meet Carson's. "You have a full translation now?"

Carson nodded. "Aye, Jennifer brought it with her yesterday." Teyla looked around wondering where the young doctor was. She also had questions concerning the journal but Carson continued talking before she could ask anything. "If you're looking for Jennifer she's currently with Dr. Biro working on the bacterial problem. I'm afraid the antibiotic she brought hasn't touched the buggers much. Rodney is currently sleeping it off in the Jumper after having spent most of the night sitting in his hazmat suit at John's bedside. I'm telling you, he wasn't in a great mood after spending so many hours cooped up like that. I think Ronon would have decked him if he hadn't eventually left."

"So there is basically no improvement in John's condition?"

"Oh…I wouldn't go so far as to say that. The bacteria are still causing havoc. However there's been a slight improvement as far as the virus is concerned." Carson paused not wanting to go into too much detail, not quite yet. "We believe the antibody drug is finally helping his body to fight back. His fever has remained steady at 104 and it hasn't risen any higher for quite a while now. And at least he hasn't reached the terrible end stage, which is a blessing."

Teyla shuddered, wondering what in heavens name Carson meant by that. "Terrible end stage?"

"Aye, that's what the doctor described in his journal. Remember the corpse you found in the field." Teyla nodded. "Well, apparently for most victims, at least those that didn't commit suicide beforehand, the end stage came as a horrifying need to flee from their beds. With an unusual burst of energy, the sick person suddenly rose screaming. Most only made it as far as the street or garden before withering in pure agony and dying. A few like the field victim made it further before collapsing. The healer didn't understand why this occurred. However, in order to prevent it happening to his loved ones and eventually himself, it seems he injected an overdose of something to end it quickly. Now I've never heard of such a thing before and we certainly don't have any illnesses on Earth that cause such a reaction. Jennifer and I both agree that the virus must eventually affect the brain in such a way that the victim doesn't realize what they are doing. Although where they get the strength to undergo such a drastic manoeuvre is beyond me."

Teyla felt sick. _What if an overdose was eventually necessary to help John?_ But it looked like John had already survived longer than any others thanks to their drugs and his stubborn will. "What are his chances, Carson? Please be honest with me."

Carson could hardly look her in the eye because he simply wasn't sure that he could provide an answer, at least one that would give her any hope and the one she so desperately wanted to hear. "You want me to be honest. At the moment he is still critically ill and unless something changes soon I'm not so sure he'll make it. The bloody bacteria are seemingly drug resistant. Although we've managed to keep gangrene at bay, some of the sores are now looking very bad indeed." He knelt down and hugged her. "If you have any higher beliefs I suggest you pray very, very hard indeed. I know I will."

On the brink of tears, Teyla quickly nodded and turned away, wondering if her vision would come true after all.

oOo

To say John was stubborn was an understatement. Despite all odds he continued to live on into another day even as the bacteria continued to spread until there was hardly an unaffected area left. He drifted on a sea of pain and fever. Occasionally voices would penetrate into his awareness and he knew for sure that his team were still here with him.

Right now a child's crying floated over him. The penetrating sounds made him flinch, which in turn caused more agony. Rodney's equally high pitched voice followed. "I told you I'm not good with kids." His words seemed to drill into John's brain like a lance.

The child's crying continued until someone intervened, allowing John to drift again while only catching the occasional words or noises. It went much quieter after someone, probably Rodney, talked of lunch. Tranquil maybe, yet John still couldn't find the peace to sleep in restful slumber. His body just wouldn't allow it. Just as he thought that, he suddenly felt as if someone had turned up a flame right under his bed. It became unbearably hot. For a minute, John wondered if they were cremating him before he'd even taken his last breath.

The sensation continued on like the stuff of nightmares. Then an incredible need suddenly filled his tortured mind, a need to get out of here and cool off somewhere. Get away from the inferno that was his bed by finding a cool body of water to soak his blustering skin. It took some considerable effort, yet with energy he really shouldn't have, John managed to rise from his bed. It caused incredible agony not only from the sores but from the tearing out IV lines and cables. Despite that he kept on moving, his bare feet churning up the ground as he shambled around the various objects standing in his way. Alarms screamed and a voice called for him to stop, it sounded like Marie. She continued to shout at him even as he ran toward a lighter area when his swollen, crust covered eyes finally registered the exit to the great outdoors beyond.

It was cooler outside, at least a little. Without thinking, John lurched forward and headed straight for the crop of trees off in the distance. They seemed to be calling to him. Then he realised it wasn't the trees. A bright, shining light of shimmering gold appeared to glow just on the edge of the tree line. Somehow he knew the light would bring him salvation and freedom from pain because he'd seen it before.

TBC

 **Sorry another cliffy. (Gives evil grin).** Thanks for the wonderful reviews to date, to the followers and readers who have favoured it already.


	9. Chapter 9

Fragile Lives

Chapter 9

Teyla was just returning to John's shelter when she heard Marie's frantic shouts. Thinking the worse, she ran towards the nurse and was just in time to witness John's mad scurry across the field. Marie moved to stand besides her looking very distressed indeed. "I'm so sorry, I should have stopped him but I was worried about doing too much damage to his skin if we got into a grapple."

It was the end and they both knew it. Just like the other victims, John would die once this phase was over. Teyla felt her throat constrict with deep sorrow and untold pain. She swallowed hard, noticing that the others were running to join them from the decon area. Turning to face Marie, she quickly instructed. "Tell them what has happened and ask them to please remain here for a while. I will go and be with him until….until I signal for them…to…to come." Teyla's voice nearly broke on her last few words.

Marie nodded knowing that the Athosian wanted to spare John's people the horror of seeing him die in such an awful way. She only hoped it would not be too unbearable for Teyla also. She didn't try to stop her as the colonel certainly didn't deserve to die alone. He needed to be with one of his longstanding and most loyal friends in his last moments.

Hazmat suits made running a very difficult task and Teyla wished she could just dump it. Although she knew that was out of the question. Glancing over the field, she was amazed to see that John had managed to cover so much ground in his condition. However his progress seemed to have slowed somewhat and as she watched, he stumbled and fell to the ground just a short distance from the tree line. He tried to get up again but immediately collapsed to lie very still. Horrified, Teyla moved as quickly as she could even though part of her wanted to turn tail and run in the opposite direction. To spare the trauma of seeing John die or his lifeless agonised body already lying still on the ground.

It didn't take long for her to cover the distance. She slowed her pace as she neared his prone body. Teyla's heart pounded heavily in her chest as she came to a halt several feet away from him. Unable to move any closer, she stood looking at him for a long moment thinking he truly was already lost to her. He lay so still, curled up on his left side in a foetal position among patch of sweet smelling Shari blooms. The irony of it nearly broke her heart as her favourite flowers would be John's death bed. They surrounded him, their pale blue heads gently moving in the breeze as if to pay homage to a lost soul.

Finally picking up courage, Teyla carefully approached to kneel by his side. She felt no resistance as she gently rolled him over to lie in the crook of her arm and she expected to see his lifeless eyes stare back at her. Instead, he appeared to be still breathing, although somewhat slow and laboured. There were signs of great pain in his countenance but nothing like the agony written on the faces of the other victims.

John felt someone holding him, so he opened his eyes hoping to see the angel he'd seen only moments before. Confusion clouded his mind for a moment as the heavily clad figure was no angel in shining white but rather intimidating. It took him a moment to recognise Teyla under the ugly helmet and he vaguely wondered why she was wearing it. Then he remembered the quarantine and deadly virus. Once he realised it was Teyla it really didn't matter how she looked as she was an angel to him and the very person he longed to see at his end. John needed to tell her three important words before it was too late.

Somehow he managed to find the strength to open his mouth, though a gasp of pain escaped before he could prevent it. Agony shot up his legs to join the knot of pain that centred in his chest. _Get it out before it's too late,_ his mind told him. "I love you," he gasped. There he had said it. Now he could… _didn't someone tell him to fight this?_ _Chaya?_ Chaya had said it and he could have sworn he'd seen her glowing figure across the field just a moment ago. Then he realised that the burning sensation had died down somewhat to a more manageable level. Although he still felt absolutely dreadful and so very weak. Yet despite those feelings, his stubborn willpower ordered him to fight on even though it seemed like the battle had lasted forever already and was likely to continue for a long time to come. So he must soldier on, not give up and not reach out for the peace that death would provide him. _Fight on_ , his tortured mind ordered.

So John took another shuddering breath. And then another for her sake.

It was getting to be a habit this crying when covered by a hazmat suit. Not the most comfortable. Yet despite the irritation it caused, Teyla cried her heart out as she held him in her arms, ignoring the awful sores that covered his body. _He loved her._ Although it had been just a whisper that she'd hardly heard. John had told her so and not just in her dream. She slowly rocked him, expecting him to take his last breath at any minute. Time ticked by and somehow he continued to draw air. Eventually it penetrated her clouded brain that maybe they shouldn't be out here all alone on the damp and probably chilly ground. John needed to be examined by Carson or Jennifer, so she frantically waved her arm to draw their attention. They quickly reacted being halfway across the distance already anyway.

Teyla continued to hold John as they approached. Just before they arrived, she whispered. "I have always loved you too, John. Please survive for me." He murmured at that and somehow she knew he had understood.

"Oh good lord!" Carson cried.

Teyla looked up as she heard him approach to stand by her side. "He still breathes," she assured the doctor.

"Okay then, we'd best get him back to the shelter so I can see how much damage he's probably done to his skin." Carson bent down beside them. Behind the protection he could see the redness in Teyla's eyes, also a soft look as if something wonderful had happened. Maybe it had. "To tell you the honest truth, I never expected him to survive that mad dash. I can see from here that several sores are bleeding quite badly, I just hope there's nothing worse under his clothing."

Teyla hadn't really noticed them. John was only wearing a thin, loose-fitting top and shorts in an effort to keep him cool. His legs were bare and she could now see blood oozing from the sores. He was also covered in golden pollen from the Shari flowers and a little mud from the still drying ground. It seemed insignificant somehow. "I believe his stubborn strength continues to keep him with us."

"Aye." Carson replied. Then he silently thought. _But we still need to find a cure against the bacteria that continued to play havoc due to his weakened immune system._ However, he didn't voice that concern to the very distressed woman. Instead, he turned to Ronon and Rodney as they stood just a short distance away. "We'll need a stretcher here, ASAP."

"Already taken care of." Rodney assured him. "Jennifer has gone back to arrange it."

oOo

Nightfall brought the fever back up to dangerous levels and once again it looked like they would lose him. However, John continued to cling to life while Teyla and a team of nurses spent hours cooling him down with ice packs, which were carefully placed around his distressed body.

Earlier on, Ronon had taken Beth out of the shelter as she was now totally clear of the virus, which was a blessing really as the child should not be subjected to such suffering. She had already seen enough in her young life. Rodney had gone back to the jumper when told he was getting in the way. He had grumbled a bit but had left with a promise from Jennifer to call him immediately if things get any worse.

Jennifer stayed on duty throughout the night giving Carson a chance to rest as he was totally exhausted. Just before daybreak another storm blew in bringing cooler air into the shelter. It was really a blessing as it helped lower John's temperature to a more reasonable level, meaning the nurses and Jennifer could relax a little.

Teyla sighed as she carefully lowered herself onto the spare sleeping cot. She desperately wanted to rub the growing ache behind her eyes but the hazmat protection prevented it. She was bone tired and knew the nursing staff felt the same. The cot looked so inviting, yet she couldn't bring herself to stretch out and sleep as her worry was still far too great.

Jennifer came to sit beside her. "Why don't you go and get some rest."

Teyla turned and slowly shook her head so as not to aggravate her growing headache too much. "It is all right. I could not sleep even if I tried."

The young doctor nodded in understanding. "Yeah, I would feel the same if it was Rodney."

The storm passed through by midmorning and the sun came out to warm the land. It quickly dried the fields which had become somewhat muddy again. Teyla stepped outside for a minute wishing she could shed the uncomfortable headgear. She looked over the ground to the grove of trees where the Shari flowers grew. Later she would go and pick a few to place near John's bed. He still clung onto life and thankfully his fever had remained slightly lower. Teyla just hoped that the warmer weather wouldn't make it skyrocket again.

She turned her gaze away to look towards the other shelter. Ronon had stayed away claiming that Beth was still sleeping. Teyla knew he wasn't good around sickness, and the waiting and uncertainty was driving him mad. The not knowing how things will work out was an anxious time for them all but Ronon was taking it particularly bad as John was like an older brother to him. And Ronon had lost so many of his people over the years. It just seemed unfair that he should lose another even though John was no Satedan.

Over by the med lab, Rodney appeared to be chatting with Dr. Biro. Teyla watched as the pathologist slowly shook her head. Obviously she had no good news to give him and Rodney looked downhearted as he moved away towards the decon area, Teyla guessed to go through it as he hadn't been around yet.

Another figure approached her, freshly dressed in a clean hazmat suit. "Morning, lass, you look like you could do with some sleep, so please go and rest for a few hours."

"I do not think I could."

Carson rolled his eyes and looked a little frustrated. "What good will you be if you collapse on the Colonel. We've had this out before. Now go and rest even if you can't sleep. And get something to eat."

Teyla looked resigned. "Very well and it would be nice to get out this gear for a while as it is slowly driving me crazy."

"Aye, you can say that again. The good news is Dr. Biro believes the virus has nearly cleared from the Colonel's system, which could make the hazmat protection unnecessary in the near future."

Teyla perked up at that thinking she must have misinterpreted Rodney and Dr Biro's conversation. "Then he should be getting better soon?"

"Unfortunately while the virus is clearing, the nasty bacteria aren't. It will still be a battle to keep him from going under. And as I told you before the virus has greatly compromised his immune system making it harder for his body to fight the infections off. So far nothing we have tried has worked." Carson glanced towards the shelter. "I'm just going to assess the situation now and give Jennifer a break."

Teyla gave him a determined look. "Then I will go with you…," Carson was just about to object when she held up a hand to stall him, "After you have examined and assessed him, I promise to eat and try to rest."

"Okay then." Carson said no more as he turned and walked towards the isolation shelter.

Teyla trudged wearily behind him. She really was bone tired as she could hardly lift her feet across the rough, muddy ground. The hazmat suit making it even more difficult, it really would be lovely if they forgo them. Once inside, a determined look and a pointed finger from Carson made her sit down on the spare bed. A moment later an equally exhausted Jennifer moved to join Carson by John's bedside and the two doctors carried out the necessary examination.

Teyla watched in silence just praying for some sign of improvement. Suddenly, the cot rocked as someone bumped into it, rather clumsily. "Oops…sorry, I'll never get used to these darn suits." Rodney muttered as he stood over her.

"They may not be necessary soon." Teyla announced.

"Yes, Dr. Biro said as much but she was doom and gloom about the bacteria." Rodney said no more as he ambled closer to John's bed. The sight that greeted him made him wince as Carson had just uncovered John's upper body to revel several really nasty abscesses on his chest. "Oh my god even if he survives this he's going to have some really bad scaring. Not so handsome anymore." He almost sounded pleased by it, which they were sure he wasn't really. Although, he'd always seemed a little jealous of John's good looks and sex appeal.

"Rodney!" Several voices called at once.

Jennifer looked pained. Although she loved him, sometimes he could be the most insensitive prig. "When he gets over this I'm sure the sores will clear up and fade with time. Besides, he hardly has any on his face."

The heart monitor picked up a slight increase in heart-rate almost as if John had heard them, yet he reminded deeply unconsciousness. Rodney looked slightly ashamed as he suddenly realised how insensitive his observation had been. "Sorry, I just hate being around sick people, especially someone that I really care about."

"We know you do, Rodney." Carson murmured, but he didn't look up as he closely examined one of the leg sores. "What's this stuff on the wound?" He queried one of the attending nurses.

She came forward and looked a bit concerned. "I'm so sorry, Dr. Beckett, we didn't like to scrub too hard or introduce a stronger solution. Some of the flower residue and dirt just couldn't be removed so we thought it best to leave it."

"Its pollen and sap is from those lovely blue flowers isn't it?"

Teyla stood up when she heard them talk. "They are called Shari blooms and grow quite prevalently on many planets."

Jennifer had bent to see what Carson was talking about. She straightened and asked him. "What do you think? Coincidence or cure?"

Carson pondered for a moment. "Could be just the beginning of an improvement anyway but it's worth looking into it. Be a good lad, Rodney, go and gather some of the flowers and take them directly to Dr. Biro."

"What! Me pick flowers?"

"Yes, it's important and no one is going to think any the less of you for doing so. Now you know what they look like?" Rodney shook his head. "Good grief man they were growing all around the Colonel where he fell yesterday."

"I will go, Carson." Teyla quickly intervened.

"Oh no, you won't. You're going to eat something and then rest. You too Jennifer, ya both look about really to drop. Rodney?"

"Alright, alright, going already. Blue flowers," he pointed to the bed, "Don't you mention a word of this to him or Ronon."

"We won't." Carson assured him. "Oh and make sure the flowers are still intact. Hopefully the rain hasn't damaged the delicate blooms too much."

While Rodney reluctantly trudged out, Teyla asked. "Why do you require the flowers?"

"Because," Carson pointed to John's leg, "this sore and several others are showing signs of healing. It could be the antibiotics are finally working or something in the flowers acts as a natural remedy. Either way, Dr. Biro needs to look into it and hopefully find out why because his other sores are showing no signs of receding despite having received the same medication."

For the first time since the nightmare had started, Teyla began to feel a little more hopeful. Maybe, just maybe, her favourite flowers would help heal the man she'd finally admitted to truly love.

TBC


	10. Chapter 10

Fragile lives

Chapter 10

Ronon shook his head and watched as McKay busily picked flowers while muttering unintelligible words under his breath. Amused, Ronon put Beth down as it seemed she wanted to pick some flowers too. At least he guessed so as she'd struggled quite enthusiastically in his arms. After making sure the little girl okay, he walked over to stand by the scientist. "Never thought I'd see the day when Dr. Rodney McKay got all romantic," he teased.

Rodney looked up and went slightly red upon seeing Ronon's huge smirk. "What! No, no, not for me or should I say Jennifer. I'm picking them for Dr. Biro."

"Does Jennifer know?"

Rodney looked confused for a moment then rolled his eyes. "Oh no it's not for her to put in a vase and dream of me, although I'm sure she might have at times. No, no, Carson thinks these flowers could hold the key to curing Sheppard, so Biro has to analyse them or whatever. Believe me Sheppard will owe me big time after this and you dare spread it around when we get back to Atlantis."

Ronon smirked again. "Wouldn't dream of it" Giving Rodney the impression that he'd do just the opposite.

Rodney decided he would just have to make sure the whole city knew that by picking flowers he had saved Sheppard's life, yet again. That's assuming it worked, which of course Rodney naturally hoped it would. "Just give me a hand so we can get this over and done with." Rodney muttered under his breath.

"Haven't you got enough already?"

"Carson told me to pick undamaged flowers with plenty of pollen still attached. Not so easy seeing as several storms blew through here recently. Quite a few of them have mud right up their stems but I guess that doesn't matter."

"Okay." Ronon bent down to pick his first pretty flower, ever. While he had picked plants in the past for their medical use or edible parts, he had never picked flowers otherwise. Although it looked like these might just be a healing plant too.

Both men had been so engrossed in their conversation that neither of them noticed the little girl toddle off with a single flower in her hand. Ronon only realised it when he straightened up after picking a handful of blue flowers and saw that she was no longer where he'd left her. "Hey, where's Beth?"

Rodney looked up from his bent position. "What do you mean? Haven't seen her since yesterday. She must be with Teyla."

"No, McKay, she was here with me. I put her down when I first arrived. Now she's disappeared."

"Well, a kid that small can't have just vanish into thin air. Maybe she's gone into the woods." Rodney suggested.

They exchanged a concerned look and started a frantic search as each man went in a different direction, calling Beth's name over and over again. They meet up ten minutes later not having seen a single sign of the child. "You are in so much trouble." Rodney muttered.

"Hey, how was I to know she'd wander off like that. How far can those little legs walk anyway?"

Rodney shrugged. "Well, she doesn't appear to be around here. Although I wouldn't have thought she could have gone that far. We'd better get these flowers to Biro and then mount a proper search for her."

Ronon nodded his agreement as they quickly started to walk back to the shelters.

oOo

Carson sat in his little makeshift office, which was really only a small tent placed just beyond the quarantine shelter. It had been set up a few hours ago since the more astringent measures had been lifted. With a thankful sigh he took off his hazmat head gear. Something he would not have done a few days ago, although as a precaution he had gone through decon before taking a break. He carefully sipped the hot tea a nurse had kindly brought him a few minutes ago. There was nothing like a good cup of Earl Grey to drive away the weariness.

Mind you a nip of malt whiskey might have helped too but that was back in his room on Atlantis. Carson vaguely wondered if John would never set foot in the city again. One thing for sure Atlantis just wouldn't be the same without him. Over the years John had become more than just a commander even to the lowest of ranks and personnel. John Sheppard was a good friend to many, including himself. His steadfast devotion to the city and its people gave them the security they needed in times of great trouble. And unfortunately, there were plenty of those. Carson thought back with fond memory to the day he first met the pilot after having nearly killed him along with the legend of SG1, Jack O'Neill. The cocky flyboy had plonked his backside down onto the Ancient chair even after Carson had asked him not to. And so another legend had been born.

Okay those memories weren't exactly his as they belonged to the original Carson Beckett but they might as well have been as they were still as clear as a bell in his head. No the city would not be the same if John were to die. Steering his thoughts away from that dismal prospect, Carson promised himself that if John did survive this, then he would gladly share a shot of his favourite malt with his long time friend.

Out of the corner of his eye Carson caught sight of Rodney and Ronon trudging by loaded down with bunches of flowers. If things had been less serious he would have laughed his socks off. However, he left them alone to deliver the blooms to Lindsay. He had already explained his findings to the pathologist so she would know exactly what she had to do with them. Carson trusted her wholeheartedly.

Ronon entered the tent a few minutes later as Carson continued to enjoy his cuppa. "Have you seen Beth?" The big guy asked, looking a trifle worried.

"Don't tell me you've lost the wee lass?"

Ronon cringed. "Yep…just checked on Teyla. She's sleeping soundly and the kid ain't there."

Carson took another sip of his hot brew before asking. "When did you last see her?"

"In the field behind the quarantine shelter. She was with me when I went to see why Rodney was picking flowers. I only put her down for a minute and then," Ronon held up his big hands and shrugged his shoulders, "she was gone."

Carson sighed and took just one more sip of tea before standing. "Well, we'd best be searching for her then. Isn't there some woods nearby?" Ronon nodded. "Just hope the wee mite hasn't gone too far into them."

The search was on and every available person started looking. They didn't like to disturb Teyla or Jennifer so they left them sleeping for the time being. After searching all the likely places within the camp, Ronon together with a couple of off-duty nurses headed back to the woods. Rodney flatly refused, stating that he would join them if Beth wasn't found within the next hour or so. When asked why, he simply stated that it was his turn to sit with Sheppard but first he needed to go and get something to eat.

Fully suited up again Carson re-entered the shelter containing the ailing colonel. Over on one side Marie worked quietly laying out more sterile dressings and instruments on a tray. "When did you last check his temperature, Marie?"

"About thirty minutes ago, doctor. It was steady at 103."

"Okay, I'll measure it again in a few minutes just to make sure it's staying at that level, especially seeing as the tent is getting warmed up by the overhead sun." Carson looked over to his patient, confused to see that a screen had been placed along one side effectively blocking his view. "Why's the partition so close to his bed?"

"For that very reason." Marie pointed to an overhead, clear plastic window set right at the top of the shelter. It couldn't be opened as it only served to let in more light. "A beam of sunlight was shining directly on the Colonel, so I had to improvise," she explained. "I think I can move it now as the sun has changed angle."

"It's okay, lass, I'll do it and then take his temperature." Carson grabbed a digital thermometer and moved the screen aside. The sight that greeted him made him gasp in surprise.

Thinking the worse Marie rushed to his side, relieved to see the colonel quietly breathing with Beth lying next to him but not actually snuggled into him as if Beth understood that she shouldn't. She was also fast asleep. The child had placed a Shari flower dead centre on John's chest. "I don't know how she got by me? Marie defended herself. "She can't have been lying there for long."

"Aye and the little madam climbed up on the chair to get to him. It's okay, we'll leave her be for now as she seems to have a calming effect on him." He pointed to the monitor which showed the steady beat of John's heart. "At least we can call off the search now."

Marie looked puzzled. "She was missing?"

"Gave Ronon the slip when they were picking the necessary flowers." Carson replied as he carefully measured John's temperature so as not to disturb man or child.

oOo

John woke to the sound of Lindsay Biro's excited voice. "Well it appears to be working doesn't it? I'd call that a miracle."

"Aye that it is." He heard Carson reply a moment later.

For a minute John wondered what they were talking about. All he could remember was incredible pain and discomfort that seemed to last a lifetime. Although he had tried to surface several times recently this was the first time he hadn't passed out again almost immediately. He assessed his feelings and realised that he felt marginally better as the terrible pain had died down somewhat to more manageable levels and the overall sense of…well…fading and death seemed to have receded somewhat. _Did that mean he wasn't dying anymore?_ With that last thought John decided he really needed to find out what was going on.

It took quite an effort but willpower and his stubborn perseverance drove him to finally crack open his eyes as far as they would go as they still felt incredibly heavy and totally gunged up. The sight that greeted him had been well worth the effort as Teyla was quietly sitting near his bed.

Seeing him stir, Teyla immediately sat forward and gently took his hand in hers. "It is good to see you awake. You had us all so very worried."

He swallowed hard. "Worried...too. Thought I was a...goner." He managed to whisper around his incredibly dry and gritty mouth. Someone must have shovelled in a load of sand while he slept.

Carson heard him and immediately appeared by his side. "My goodness, John, it's wonderful to see you finally showing signs of improvement. Now I'll slowly raise the bed a little so we can get some water down you. Tell me if it pains you too much."

Raising the bed even a small fraction did cause more than a bit of discomfort but John didn't try to stop him. Afterwards it took him a minute or so of riding through the pain before it began to recede enough for him to relax a little. Then a straw was held to his lips and he took a few thankful sips of cool, fresh water. It felt like nectar to the Gods and enabled him to swallow more easily. Eventually after a few more sips, he was able to ask. "How are…things…Carson?"

"What do you mean, with regards to your condition or the outbreak in general?"

"Both," he croaked.

"Okay then." Carson looked at Teyla and smiled before grabbing a chair to sit next to her. He was bone weary, so he welcomed to opportunity to sit down and rest his legs while he talked to his patient. "I'll start with the outbreak. The good news is it didn't spread any further, meaning the survivors can go home now and try to rebuild their lives. The town has been totally sanitised and the bodies have all been cremated as a precautionary measure. We kept the ashes because naturally some survivors had family members or friends amongst them. They have decided to build a memorial just outside the town and will be holding a small ceremony in a week or so."

John never said a word to that and Carson paused for minute wondering if he had dropped off as his eyes had been drooping even before he'd started the explanation. "You want me to continue?" John simply nodded. "Okay, but you tell me the minute it becomes too much, after all you were at death's door only ten hours ago."

"That bad?" John murmured before realising how stupid that question was because he knew darn well he'd been fighting for his life. "Okay, don't…answer."

Carson ignored him anyway to say. "It was bad. I think none of us expected you to survive this one. Thankfully you've beaten the odds yet again."

It was then that John suddenly realised that neither Carson nor Teyla were wearing hazmat protection anymore. "Why…you're…not…geared up?"

Teyla squeezed his hand. "You are no longer infectious, John. The virus has left your body and the dreadful skin infections are beginning to recede at last. The bacteria that caused them would not have been such a problem without the virus."

"Aye, Teyla's right. When combined the real killer was the bacteria. It's only found in this region, mainly in the water supply back in Tandria. Alone the germ is fairly harmless, usually causing only a mild skin infection. However once the body became weakened by the virus disrupting the immune system it was a free for all, spreading infection all over the victim's body. It proved fatal to the poor folks back in the town."

John suddenly remembered something as an image of a little child sitting in a dirty drain came to mind. "And Beth?"

"She is fine and suffered no symptoms from the virus or the bacteria. We've determined that the bacteria can enter someone's body through an open wound. However that probably wasn't the case for most of the victims. They must have drunk or bathed in tainted water and the bacteria got into their blood streams. It wouldn't normally have caused them such a big problem as I'm guessing their immune system was well used to it." Carson decided not to tell John about Beth being the virus carrier, at least not just yet.

"So how did it get me? Didn't drink any…water."

"Jennifer and I discussed that at length and she told me about a little incident a week or so ago. Do you remember the cut on your arm, the one you told Jennifer was just a tiny little thing and didn't need any stitches?" John nodded. "Well, although it did heal quite well, when you picked Beth up out of the drain it must have been knocked or reopened slightly allowing the bacteria to freely enter. That's why the first symptoms in you weren't so obvious. The bacteria actually got hold even before the virus started to wreak havoc. So if you hadn't contracted the virus you would have likely fought the bacteria off without a problem," Carson thought for a second or so, "Although it would have been something completely alien to your immune system, so it may have caused a problem or two."

John sighed. He felt like crying and was sure some moisture escaped from his eyes. Hopefully his friends would put it down to irritation. "So it was basically my own…fault then." The tears became more obvious.

Carson didn't seem to notice or chose to ignore them. "I wouldn't go so far as to say that, John. The bacteria could have entered by some other means so don't be too hard on yourself. Only next time, don't go copying Ronon. Allow the medical staff to treat you as they see fit."

John pushed his misery aside. He was now beginning to feel a little clearer headed and with it his ability to talk more. For some reason, he felt he needed to come up with an excuse. "I normally do, Carson, only if I remember rightly I was under a time restraint as per usual since our return to Pegasus."

Teyla nodded. "I believe you must talk to Mr. Woolsey as sometimes he expects far too much of you."

"Aye, I know for a fact that this whole business of nearly losing you has shaken him up quite a bit. Though as Teyla suggested, you should talk to him about easing your work load."

John looked away for a minute. "It would be nice if my schedule was...a little less hectic."

"Well, Jennifer and I will back you up if you need it but I have a feeling Mr. Woolsey will comply. Now, do you want me to continue?"

Although he felt terribly drowsy, John slowly nodded. "Haven't told me where Beth is?"

Teyla squeezed his hand. "Ronon is looking after her at the moment. She is a lovely child and very contented."

"Aye, Teyla's right, apart from the fact she keeps trying to return here. In fact, Ronon lost her a couple of days ago while talking to Rodney who was out in the field behind the camp picking flowers. The little madam must have toddled all the way back here because we eventually found her sleeping next to you."

John gave a diminutive smile at the image that conjured, then he wondered if he'd heard right. "Rodney, picked flowers?"

"Now don't be too hard on him because those flowers gave us a clue for your treatment and helped save your life." Carson explained. "As you may or may not know some antibacterial agents are derived from soil or plant inhabiting bacteria. Penicillin being a very good example as it was derived from a fungi. Anyway to cut a long story short, the sap in the stems of the lovely Shari flowers interacts with bacteria found in the soil to produce a powerful, natural antibacterial agent. Doctors Biro and Keller were able to isolate the agent and create an antimicrobial drug that actually works well against the bacteria in your system and other water born bacterium found here. They also processed an ointment for your scores and they are showing signs of healing quite nicely. I predict they should be completely cleared in a couple of weeks." It had all been a bit of a miracle really because developing an antibacterial drug so quickly and without testing could have proved disastrous. Carson decided not to mention that as it looked like John had suffered no nasty side-effects from the experimental drug.

John looked astounded by the news and he felt relief that he would recover eventually, hopefully without too much scaring. It gave him strength to say. "Really? Guess I owe Rodney one then. And Jennifer, Dr. Biro and you Carson. And you too, Teyla and all the other medical staff as I seem to remember needing an awful lot of care." With some difficulty he turned his head to look directly at Teyla as a vague memory came to mind. "I also remember running toward some shining figure only to collapse before reaching it. Then you held me as I thought I was about to die."

A tear came to Teyla's eyes at the memory. "You were very, very ill but thankfully did not let go of life. That is when we found out about the Shari flowers because you landed in a bed of them and after that some of the sores began to show signs of healing at little."

Carson got up and squeezed Teyla's shoulder. "I'll leave you two alone for a while as I'm sure everyone will want to know that you're awake, John. They can visit you later. By the looks of things you're just about ready for some more sleep. Your eyes are nearly closed already."

John nodded and watched him go. Carson was right he did feel very tired but he had something to ask Teyla before he drifted off. "I also remember something else happening out there. I…I believe I may have finally admitted the truth about how I…how I feel about you."

"Yes, you did, John. We will address our feelings in private once you are fit and healthy again. Now do not fight the need for sleep any longer. It is the best medicine."

TBC

 **Thanks for the reviews and please keep them coming. The story is far from over yet so please stay tuned.**


	11. Chapter 11

Fragile Lives

Chapter 11

John took another lungful of fresh air and relaxed back in the provided chair as best he could. It had been kind of encouraging to be able to hobble outside with a nurse's help and sit in sun for a while after being cooped up inside for a further four days until the lingering fever had finally left his body. Carson had been right as being out of his bed did make him feel a tic better. Even though his skin outbreaks still plagued him and caused him some pain, the doctor had reassured him that he was doing great. _At least physically._

Most of the staff had moved back to Atlantis by now. However, John felt he wasn't ready to face going back home, at least not just yet. He wasn't prepared for the sympathetic looks and no doubt the fervent welcome, which he knew was a real possibility. Even after three whole years, John still cringed whenever he recalled his return from Koyla's imprisonment and subsequent Wraith feeding. It had been an overenthusiastic welcome that had overwhelmed him to the point where he had escaped to the far side of the city for several hours until his team had come looking for him. John knew he wasn't at all ready for anything like that both physically and most definitely not mentally.

In fact, he felt kind of empty at the present time. Lost in a sea of nightmare memories, of the awful imagines that had plagued his fevered mind during his illness. That and other things only added to his feeling of total dejected. He knew he shouldn't feel like that because well…he had survived to fight another day. Carson had stated that it was probably due to the after effects of the virus, a bit like after a really bad bout of flu. John felt terrible about it as he really should be very grateful for his recovery. He was, but it was difficult to feel truly motivated when feeling so despondent. Hopefully, Carson was right and the bloody virus was to blame. At least John hoped so as he didn't want to have to deal with a full blow depression and all that entailed.

He'd never suffered from one personally even after the horrors of Afghanistan. He'd always been able to tuck the terror he'd witnessed or been subjected to into the back of his mind, which probably wasn't the healthiest thing to do. During his college years, a close friend at Stanford had suffered badly and despite all their efforts, the guy had ended up killing himself. John still shuddered at the memory of finding his friend's still and lifeless body after an overdose of drugs and alcohol. A recollection suddenly surfaced. _Hadn't he tried to do the same thing?_ _Tried to end his suffering by taking Ronon's gun?_ What must his team think of him for trying that? It was so out of character as he usually looked at things in the most optimistic way.

After that recall, John slumped further down into the chair feeling more and more despondent as other thoughts raced through his mind. Thoughts that made him feel so remorseful. Because of his reluctance to go home, a small team had been forced to wait it out with him on Calabria. Wait until he was able to face the world again. Of course his team were still here, minus Rodney. John had been more than a little upset when he'd learnt that Rodney and Jennifer had postponed their wedding and all because of him. That knowledge only added to his feeling of guilt and despair even though they had reassured him it wasn't his fault. Nevertheless, he had insisted that they return to Atlantis and rearrange their wedding. Reluctantly they had done as he had wished.

The only bright spot in the last few days was the fact that Teyla had been reunited with her son when Amiera had brought him to the planet. Torren John had immediately taken to Beth and the two of them had played nonstop ever since. Now with the wedding arranged for just three weeks away, John was determined to make it back by then. Hence his desire to get as much sun and fresh air as he could, hoping that it would drive away his very gloomy outlook on life.

A kiss on the cheek brought him out of his self recrimination. John looked up to see Teyla smiling down at him. She had both children by the hand. "Torren and Beth wish to play outside. Could you keep an eye on them until I have done some much needed washing of their clothes? That is if you are feeling well enough?"

John reluctantly nodded. He knew this was Teyla's ploy to try and get him more interested in the things around him. The children had helped a little as they both liked to cuddle into him, but he'd had to control that due to the pain whenever a healing sore was accidently knocked or pressed too hard. "How long will you be?" he asked in a voice that sounded forlornly pathetic even to him.

Teyla chose to ignore it. "Just thirty minutes or so. I would have asked Ronon to keep an eye on them but he is off hunting for some creature he saw near here. I believe Carson said it looked a little like a rabbit. If so Carson said it would taste very nice when cooked over an open fire."

"Yeah…okay but…."

"I know you do not have an appetite yet. I am sure it will return with time." Teyla looked down at the children. "Please be good for Colonel Sheppard and no running off as he cannot run after you." The children promised with vigorous head nods as Teyla turned to leave. She looked at his slumped figure, more than a bit concerned by John's lack of interest and appetite. Physically, he certainly looked a slightly better as his face had more colour and the dark circles around his eyes had faded a little. He was also cleanly shaven making him seem younger in appearance. Getting better in body thankfully but what about his mind? Teyla pushed that disturbing thought aside and prayed that it was only a temporary thing as John had never shown depression before.

Twenty minutes later, Teyla was busy hanging up the freshly laundered children's clothing on the line that Ronon had set up between the tents, when Carson joined her. "You know there was no need for you to do that as one of the nurses could have done it for you."

"I wish to help and…," Teyla turned to look in John's direction. "I believe John needs something to take his mind off things now he is feeling a little better, so he is watching the children while they play."

"Aye that might help I suppose. I've just got the lab report back and I believe the Colonel's melancholy is mainly due to an imbalance. That bloody illness certainly worked a number on him and now his brain chemistry is all out of sync, so I'll be starting him on a vitamin and nutrient rich diet as soon as possible. Hopefully that will sort things out."

Teyla looked pleased. However, she foresaw one problem. "He has no appetite at the moment, so it is going to be difficult to get anything down him."

Carson smiled at her. "Oh don't worry about that. He has to drink something, so I'll make up a delicious fruit concoction with all that he needs."

oOo

Of course for John things were never that easy. Although Carson's healthy cocktail may help him eventually, John still felt like bawling his eyes out over the slightest little thing. He was to find that out the hard way when Ronon joined him outside the shelter a few days later.

Despite having a softer side to his nature, sometimes Ronon could be totally insensitive and unsympathetic. His failure to understand made him act too impulsively at times. The female Wraith Ellia being a prime example. His reaction towards her may have helped drive her to take the untested retrovirus before it was ready, as she had desperately wanted to be human like the man she had called father. But that was the way Ronon lived. To him life as a warrior was clean cut, you did battle and aimed to overcome your enemy. You remained tough and never showed weaknesses of any kind. That philosophy also applied to illness and injuries. Consequently, he never liked people showing sympathy or mollycoddling him whenever he was injured or laid up. And although he had been through many difficult situations both fighting the Wraith and as a runner, he had never let his emotions get on top of him. Ronon had also come to admire that quality in Sheppard, so this shell of an emotional wreck was something new to him and totally unacceptable in his opinion.

When John refused to get up out of the chair he was languishing in and take a short walk with him, Ronon put his hands on the chair's armrests and glared down at his friend. "Why don't you snap out of it!?" he growled. "Stop acting like a depressed weakling. Feeling sorry for yourself won't help at all. I know you've been desperately ill but the docs say you're getting better now. So get over it already and behave like the warrior and leader you're supposed to be."

John took one look at the Satedan and saw raw disapproval on the man's face. That hurt more than anything. It set John off even more. Despite his best intentions to just ignore his friend or react like Ronon wanted him to, John did the absolute opposite and simply burst into tears. Ronon was shocked beyond words. Never in a million years did he expect that reaction from a man he considered a worthy warrior. Being hopeless in such matters, Ronon didn't know what to do or how to react as John covered his face and wept genuine tears. Ronon quickly straightened and backed off, not saying a thing. Suddenly feeling like a complete jerk.

John quietened down eventually, at least enough to speak out. "You have no idea how I feel so what rights have you to tell me to snap out of it. Wish I could but…" John suddenly swiped his hand over his eyes and got up. "Just leave me the hell alone." With that he went back into the shelter to lie down.

Ronon kicked the chair away in frustration knowing that he had probably just made matters ten times worse. And worst of all, it could have put an irreparable barrier between them. It was no good trying to talk to John at the moment, so he simple went for a run to blow off stream.

Ten minutes later, Teyla found John curled up on his bed. She had just put the children down for a nap in her tent and knew nothing about the incident with Ronon, so she had no idea why John should be quietly sobbing into his pillow. It also shocked her as she had only seen John cry once before and that had been during the illness when the pain had been totally unbearable. Despite living through a great deal of trauma and tragic loss through the years since she had known him, he had never had such an emotional breakdown before. It was heartbreaking to witness.

Like Ronon she didn't really know how to comfort him, yet she couldn't just leave him like this. On impulse she gently wrapped her arms around him and began to sing a soft melodic song that spoke of life and the joys of living. She sang a few verses before he began to calm down. When she finished the song, he turned over and buried his face into her neck.

A few hiccups followed until he found his voice, total embarrassment clouded his words. "Sorry about that. Just couldn't stop the waterworks. I think it would have been better if I'd…"

Teyla interrupted as she didn't want to hear the rest, even though she had a good idea what he was about to say. "John Sheppard, never be ashamed of surviving. I am sure this feeling of hopelessness stems from the imbalance Carson spoke of and eventually it will pass. We are all here for you. Do not forget that."

His next words were whispered so softly that Teyla had trouble hearing him. "Ronon thinks I've become weak and I should have pulled myself together by now. I guess I've lost his respect." His voice hitched as another shuddering hic escaped his lips. "Why should he respect me? I burst into tears in front of him."

Teyla felt furious at Ronon. Sometimes he could be such a thoughtless idiot and she had every intention of telling him so. She lifted John's head to look at her. "Ronon had no right to judge your feelings. He was not the one to suffer greatly and nearly die from this terrible illness. You have not been weakened by it. In fact, the opposite is true. You had the strength and willpower to fight and live despite the terrible pain and suffering. Do not forget that, John." She gave him a quick kiss on his cheek before continuing. "I am sure as soon as you are one hundred percent better, things will get back to normal and Ronon will see the error of his words."

Another tear fell as John shuddered. "I hope you're right." He should have been delighted that she had kissed him again but somehow it didn't thrill him like it should have. He gave one last shudder and closed his eyes to let sleep take him. It was the best escape.

However the dreams that followed gave him no real rest, no longer fever driven yet equally as disturbing. For some reason Kanaan featured in one, in another it was Ford and then Col Sumner and even Elizabeth. The tall Athosian had mocked him, telling him he was not good enough for his love and most certainly unfit to be a father to Torren. Elizabeth told him how disappointed she was and Ford accused him of not caring and leaving him to die.

John tossed and turned, restless in his self-torture until finally, many hours later, he dreamt no more.

oOo

The Scottish doctor looked over to where John still slept or at least appeared to. For two days now they had hardly been able to get him out of bed as he kept saying he wanted more sleep. It worried the doctor as there really weren't any serious physical reasons for the need to sleep so much anymore. While he still had some recovering to do, his sores were healing nicely. The need for a little extra sleep was understandable as John had been through the mill but, it shouldn't be this much anymore. Carson would have preferred John to be a little bit more active because even when he wasn't sleeping, he just slumped quietly outside in a chair. The only positive reaction John ever showed was when Beth or Torren came around, and then he allowed them to cuddle into him and sometimes sleep. Even more worrying was the fact that John hardly ate anything. He kept saying that his appetite just wasn't there yet. Thankfully he did drink Carson's concoction, which was one good thing because it contained all the minerals and vitamins his body needed.

Sighing loudly, Carson turned to his companions. "If things don't change soon I'm going to have to call in Dr. Robinson. I would prefer not to take such action as that would have to be reported on the Colonel's medical record and I certainly don't want to give the powers that be any excuse whatsoever to remove him from command."

Ronon looked glumly at his feet. "It's my fault. Should never have said anything."

"Aye, well, it probably didn't help, although I'm sure the depression would still be there."

"So you think he needs to see Claire Robinson? Will that really be of use? John does not talk about his troubles, even really bad experiences like Koyla's imprisonment. I have a feeling he will not be cooperative this time around?"

Carson looked down at Teyla's concerned face. She'd been through so much and now this. He had an inkling that her relationship with the colonel had shifted and was finally moving in the right direction. Now if only he could get the man fully recovered in both body and mind. "Aye it may prove a problem but he'll have no choice if he wants to get better."

They moved away totally unaware that John had heard some of the conversation. So they wanted him to talk to the shrink? Well, he'll be telling them where they could shove that idea. Thankfully it had gone quiet and they'd left him in peace, so he simply buried his head further into his pillow and went back to sleep.

TBC


	12. Chapter 12

Fragile Lives

Chapter 12

The following day, rain clouds dulled the morning to bring back the mud and misery. Thankfully, unlike the time before, it didn't last long as just before midday the sun broke through the clouds to herald a pleasant afternoon. The land quickly dried so Teyla took advantage of it by taking the children into the field to pick more flowers to brighten up the shelters. As well as the lovely Shari blooms many other flowers grew in abundance. Beth delighted in gathering up as many different colours as she could find. Torren wasn't quite so interested. He found it amusing to chase the butterfly type insects that flittered over the field with carefree abandonment.

 _The innocents of childhood._ Teyla envied her son a little, if only she could do the same. Not have so many worries and uncertainties in her life but that was the responsibilities of adulthood and being leader of her people, although Halling had taken over much of that since her involvement with Atlantis. However, right now her worries centred on John and his continuing depression. She felt so helpless not knowing how she could help him.

Sighing wearily, Teyla continued to watch the children until Beth couldn't hold anymore flowers in her tiny hands. The little girl toddled up to her and offered the flowers. "Why thank you, Beth. Now you can pick a few more then we will take them back to our shelter and find something to put them in. I am sure one of the drinking glasses would do the job just fine."

Beth nodded and toddled off to the nearest patch of Shari blooms. She picked a few and then came back to look up at Teyla with her beautiful blue eyes that nearly matched the colour of the flowers. "For Yon," she said clearly holding up her little bunch. It was first time she had spoken a few words even if she couldn't pronounce John's name properly.

Torren ran running over to stand at his mother's side, just in time to hear Teyla say. "That is a very good idea but first we need to put them in some water so they do not wilt."

The little girl nodded and squealed before trotting off towards the camp. Torren chased after her and the two toddlers giggled as if they didn't have a care in the universe. It pleased Teyla that Torren had found such companionship in Beth. Once again she vaguely wondered what would become of the child when they eventually returned to Atlantis.

Nurse Williams was still doing her bit even if the hard work was thankfully over. She and another nurse had volunteered to stay behind to assist Dr. Beckett as the colonel still needed medication and ointment applied to some of his more stubborn skin sores. The colonel's depression worried her greatly as it was so unlike the man she'd come to admire so very much. Patty just hoped things would improve soon as she really wanted to return to Atlantis despite the peacefulness of the lovely countryside surrounding their temporary camp. She checked her watch, in little over an hour she would have the late afternoon nutrient drink ready for her patient and hopefully he wouldn't reject it like he had his lunch. Dr. Beckett had told her not to force it on him but all the same it was extremely frustrating.

As she approached the colonel's shelter with the intention of checking to see if her patient was still asleep, Patty stopped for a minute to watch the two children as they ran happily in the direction of the camp. Teyla Emmagan appeared to be not far behind them. The nurse smiled thinking how carefree the children looked unlike Teyla who looked so fatigued but that was to be expected. Sighing, Patty moved to enter the shelter. Then she noticed three other people approaching up the path that lead from the town. Thinking they must be heading for the Stargate, she thought nothing of it. However, something about their appearance made her wait by the shelter's entry just in case.

It turned out to be a wise decision as the strangers didn't move on towards the Stargate. Instead, they stopped to stand directly in front of Patty. "We have come for the child!" A rough looking female demanded. She was accompanied by two equally scruffy and dirty looking men.

Patty really didn't know what to say, so she said the first thing that came to mind. "Child? What child?"

The woman turned to look over the field and smiled a toothless grin. "That child, you stupid idiot," she sneered, pointing directly at Beth who had nearly made it back by now.

That got Patty's back up immediately. "I don't know who you are but nobody calls me an idiot to my face and you most certainly are not taking the child away just like that."

By this time, Teyla had joined them. She'd heard the woman's demands and instructed Patty to keep the children a safe distance from the strangers. Teyla prepared to defend the child, but thankfully they made no move to grab her, at least not at the moment. "Why are you demanding to take her?" Teyla asked.

"Because I am her aunt and I want the little tarax corma back home with me. My brothers are here to back me up."

Teyla exchanged a quick glance with Patty. They didn't believe a word the woman was saying. Little did the local know but Teyla understood quite clearly what a tarax corma was. Roughly translated it meant illness bringer or plague carrier. Knowing that, Teyla had no intention of handing Beth over. She wouldn't have anyway. Being as polite as possible she told the woman so.

Obviously, Teyla's politeness didn't impress the local at all. Now feeling incensed, the woman made a move to grab Beth away from the nurse. Thankfully Patty had no problem avoiding the action and she quickly moved the children even further away from the woman. "You have no rights to keep that child away from me!" The woman shouted, pointing a thin knobbly finger directly at Beth. "I am her rightful aunt and I demand that you turn her over to me, immediately!" That set Beth off and she started to cry. Patty quickly picked her up to comfort her.

John had no idea how long he'd slept. It felt like hours now since the nurse had tried to get him to eat something. Then he'd been left in peace. Only now he'd woken to the sound of raised voices and a child crying. He lay there for a minute or so and listened, trying to make out some of the words. When he couldn't, he actually felt like getting up to see what the ruckus was all about. An intense feeling of real annoyance clouded his actions as he moved as quickly as he could, barefooted and dressed only in white scrubs.

Finally arriving on the scene, he demanded. "What the hell is going on here? Who are these people?" Seeing him, Beth immediately struggled in Patty's arms as she wanted to get down. John signalled that it was okay and the child toddled over to him as fast as her little legs could carry her. She clung on to his left leg, so John stooped down to pick her up even though it pulled on his healing skin and hurt somewhat.

Off in the distance by the med-lab, Carson and Ronon exchanged a quick smile. They would have intervened, especially if there had been any danger to the two woman and children, but they delayed hoping to get such a reaction out of Sheppard. They weren't disappointed and decided to hang back and give John a chance to sort things out. Although Ronon had his blaster set to stun just in case.

"This woman is demanding that we hand Beth over to her." Teyla explained.

"I see and what rights do you have?" John challenged.

The scruffy woman looked him up and down with an air of disapproval. "You are a fine one to be making demands you sickly looking, wretched man," she muttered. "I am her aunt. She is to come and live with me. I have the law on my side, so hand her over immediately."

John ignored her insults, as they may have been justified because he knew he probably looked dreadful. "Oh really? Have you proof to back that up?"

The woman scowled at him. "I do not need any proof! She is my flesh and blood."

John knew enough to know that this woman was one of the survivors that had left the town early on. "That's a strange claim seeing as you abandoned her and left her to die with all the other victims."

Teyla watched him, listening and finally having hope because John sounded more like his old self for the first time since the illness had struck. She also decided not to intervene, at least not just yet.

One of the brothers finally spoke up. "She had no choice! The child was the bringer of death. What was she to do? If she had taken her with us we would have all died."

John frowned. _Beth a bringer of death?_ Then he remembered Carson had told him about her being the carried a few days back. At the time it hadn't fully registered. Anyway John knew the man's explanation was a load of nonsense because Carson had said it wasn't until later that they realised Beth carried the virus. So something was definitely off, their whole story was a load of bull and John had a feeling these people had no connection to Beth, whatsoever. From the look Teyla gave him, she must feel the same.

"What's your name, lady?" John asked as affably as he could even though he felt like hitting the old hag on her ugly nose. Something he wouldn't do as he'd been brought up never to hit a woman, even though he had so in self-defence a few times now.

The woman scowled before saying. "You do not need to know that."

"Oh, I think I do, after all we'll have to get your story checked out before we can simply hand over the child." John put on his best don't shit with me look and repeated. "So what's your name?"

"Edra Syoss."

"And the child's name?"

The woman hesitated long enough to make them believe she didn't know. Eventually, she said. "Tana Syoss."

"Really that's not the information we were given. We were told on good authority by the people of Bellem that her name is Elizabeth Charin. We've shortened it to Beth." It was a bluff of course because they still had no idea of the child's real name only that John was pretty sure the woman was lying to them. "Of course there is one sure way to find out if you're really the child's aunt or not and that's with a simple DNA test. So if you still demand that the child is yours then please allow our doctor to take a sample of the inside of your mouth. It's a simple procedure and quite painless."

The woman moved slightly closer to John and Beth. "I will do no such thing," she spat.

John calmly handed Beth back to Patty. Thankfully the toddler didn't fuss at being removed from his arms as she must have sensed a problem. "Nurse Williams will you please take the children away from here until this matter has been settled."

"Yes, sir." The nurse saluted crisply before leading the children away.

The woman eyed him up and down. "And who might you be, weedy one?" she asked, although she had a feeling this man was the only person to have caught the sickness and lived. They'd heard all about him back in the town. Some called it a miracle while she and a few others called it witchcraft. So now she had to trick him into handing over the child because such an evil soul, no matter how young, should not be allowed to live and flourish.

John looked her straight in the eye with something bordering on contempt. He really didn't want to deal with the old hag but he sure as hell wasn't going to hand Beth over to her, no matter what she claimed. He knew he looked far from his normal self. His unkempt hair being worse than usual, along with his pale complexion and he definitely needed another shave by the feel of it. Yet for the first time since falling ill, John actually felt alive again. He pulled himself up to stand tall and hopefully imposing. Well as much as one could in scrubs. "I'm Colonel John Sheppard, military commander of Atlantis. Now you can either submit to a DNA test or go back to where you came from."

The woman stepped just a little closer. "I could knock you down with my little finger but I am sure my brothers could do a better job. Now hand over the child or they will knock your scrawny head off your shoulders!"

Ronon made to move. Carson quickly put a restraining hand on his arm. "Give him a chance still. Don't forget Teyla is there to back him up. Believe me this is just what the doctor ordered, so let him get his worthiness back."

Teyla stood by prepared to help, being worried that John was unarmed. She on the other hand had several knives hidden on her. She slowly removed them while the woman and her brothers were distracted confronting John. She hadn't seen any weapons on the strangers, although that didn't mean they had none. The last thing John needed right now was a knife wound or worse.

Of course, Teyla never underestimated his ability to act no matter how incapacitated. And she had a feeling he would, especially after he exchanged a silent look with her. Then just as she thought the woman might attack, the old hag backed away as if she had just remembered something very important. Maybe she had because her next words implied it. She opened her mouth and spat out. "I will come no closer because how do I know you are not still carrying the sickness? You should be killed and burnt along with the rest just to make sure." With those words she almost confirmed what she had in mind for little Beth.

John spoke out with equal loathing, he'd taken great offense to the fact that she thought he should die. "I've just survived against all odds thanks to the dedication of our doctors and my friends. Do you think I would allow them to come near me if I was still infected in anyway? Now take your brothers and get the hell out of my sight."

Instead of moving, all the woman did was laugh out loud, although her brothers didn't join in. The atmosphere became tense as everyone waited for her next move. What they didn't anticipate was the sight of yet more towns' folk approaching off in the distance. They were moving towards them intentionally.

Over by the med-lab Carson signalled to the nurse. They had already talked about it and Patty wasted no time getting to the Stargate with the children. Quickly dialling up, she entered after the all clear was given, taking the children safely through to Atlantis. The Gate immediately shut down so Carson knew reinforcements would be here soon enough. In the meantime, he and Ronon quickly moved forward to join John and Teyla, just in case things should turn out nasty.

Naturally, the woman had heard the Stargate activate. Without warning she launched herself at John, nearly knocking him off his feet. Luckily, he managed to keep his balance. He pushed her away with surprising strength and she landed heavily on her backside. Glaring up at him, she gave a small curse. "You will pay for that! I will fight you, death bringer! Now hand over the child!"

John shouted. "You're too late, lady. You can fight all you like but the child is now safely away from here." John didn't know that for sure but he guessed as much because he had faith in his people.

The woman continued to look up at him from her prone position. Then she started to laugh again giving John the distinct impression that she was totally insane. "Then you are all doomed as that child will bring about your death and destruction. That I have foreseen." John just shook his head, not believing a word of it.

By this time, the other folk were nearly upon them. John quickly moved over to Teyla and she passed him her spare knife. "Sorry, but that is all I have," she whispered.

"Better than nothing." John murmured out of the side of his mouth. He noted that Ronon and Carson now stood a few paces behind them, making him feel a heck of a lot better.

The small group of people eventually stopped about ten feet away. One man stepped forward to address the Atlanteans. He seemed to be their leader. "I am so sorry. We tried to stop her but she gave us the slip."

"Okay, I take it she isn't the child's aunt then?" John asked.

Before the leader could reply, Edra got up and ran in front of him. "Do not be listening to them, Ivor. Demand justice from them as they will not turn the child over to me. You know she should be punished for causing all the death and suffering. Curse the day she ever arrived in our town."

Ivor stepped around her to finally answer John. "No, she is not the child's aunt. However, I will not apologise for her behaviour. Edra is not alone in thinking that way. Like her many have lost loved ones to the sickness and believe the only way to avenge their deaths is to kill the child responsible. I do not agree with them nor do these people." He indicated the others behind him. "Although I do suggest you leave our planet soon as possible as I cannot vouch that others may not try to take the child by force."

Teyla had heard enough, she turned to address Edra. "How can you and others hold a child responsible? It could have been anyone of you carrying the disease. She never asked for it."

John placed a restraining hand on Teyla's shoulder, worried that she just might lose it and hit the woman, even though he still felt like doing so himself. "I agree with Teyla Emmagan. I nearly died because of that child but I would never in a thousand years hold her responsible for my suffering. Besides Beth isn't here anymore and believe me, she will never return to this planet. Now if you don't want any trouble I suggest you match your callous…." At that moment Edra moved forward to spit fully in John's face. That was the last straw for Teyla and she decked the woman with one powerful punch. Once again, Edra landed on her backside.

John wiped the offensive moisture away with the back of his hand. "Well, I hope there aren't too many people like her in town or future trading is going to be difficult."

"Oh my goodness no, Colonel Sheppard. Edra is an ignorant old fool." Ivor stated hurriedly as he didn't want trade to cease between them. They would need that more than ever now in order to recover from their losses. He also knew Sheppard's people had a lot of influence within the Pegasus Coalition of Planets.

"So you know who I am?" John questioned. "She didn't." He pointed to the prone woman.

"Of course we do. It didn't take much to work that out and we are very sorry your first visit to our town has been such a torturous one for you, Colonel. Praise to the Ancestors that you survived."

John nearly rolled his eyes at that but kept it in check. "Yeah well, that's life. Now I think we'll take your advice and leave before others with her way of thinking turn up. Although it would be for nothing, so please pass the message along and tell them that the child is no longer here."

"I most certainly will, although you seem to have plenty of help now should they decide to march on you."

John turned around to see what he meant and was pleased to see Major Lorne and a small company of Marines now standing behind them. He turned back to face Ivor. "Yeah, but I think it's time to go home. If you need any help just get in touch through the Coalition."

Ivor nodded. "That is most kind of you. Your people have already helped by making the town a safe place for us again. However, like I said until this business has calmed down it may be wise for your people to keep a distance."

"Right that's good advice. If you want to trade in future you can do so, once again through the Coalition."

"Yes and thank you again, Colonel. However, we will need a short time to assess our resources before trading can begin again." Ivor turned to the others. "Come let us leave. Will someone help that stupid woman stand?" Edra's brothers immediately came forward to pick her up. John heard them mutter something about it not being their idea before they were gone.

John watched them for a while, thankful that there had been no bloodshed. Eventually, he turned to his people. "Okay, let's pack up camp and leave these folks in peace."

Carson stepped forward. "There'll be no packing up for you, Colonel. Just leave that to the lads." Out of respect he'd used John's rank because his men were still standing around them. "You handled that situation very well and I'm delighted to see you fit enough to take action once again."

John knew what he really meant but was grateful that Beckett hadn't made a thing of it in front of his men. "Thanks, Carson." John patted his friend's arm. "And thanks for everything you've done for me."

"You're welcome. Now I must go and start to sort things out. Come on you burly lads, give me a hand packing up the equipment and dismantling the shelters. We'll start with the med-lab." he addressed the Marines.

John looked at Teyla and exchanged a smile. She grabbed his arm and began to lead him back towards his shelter so he could rest while they waited. "I am also delighted to see the light return to your eyes, John."

"Yeah, I'm feeling a bit more positive about things now, but…," He hesitated for a moment, "could you make sure they don't make a big fuss when we arrive back home."

"We will." Teyla reassured him.

The reference to 'we' made John suddenly take note that Ronon was still hovering behind him. They hadn't exchanged a word since John's breakdown because neither had known where to begin. John was fearful that he had lost Ronon's respect and friendship, so when the Satedan grabbed him in a gentle bear hug it took him totally by surprise. After a few light squeezes, Ronon thankfully put him back down again.

Ronon looked almost shy when he said. "Good to have you back, buddy. I'm sorry for what I said."

"Na you were right. It was just that no matter how hard I tried to think positively, the world seemed as black as night. Guess that AI from way back was right about me, I do torture myself." That was the first time he had admitted it but thankfully both Ronon and Teyla never asked for details. No doubt they might some other time. "I think the darn virus just made matters worse by upsetting my chemistry. Anyway it seems Carson's potion is helping. From now on I have to try and be more upbeat about my successes and not so tortured by my failures. Everybody has them, I guess. I've got to remember that and try to be more assured. Not take it so personal when something goes wrong." John didn't say anything more. He really did need to get a focus on what was important in his life and right now his new found relationship with Teyla and getting his health fully restalled were his top priorities.

Teyla hooked her arm through his. "Well said, John, and do not forget we are all here for you."

John smiled for the first time in days and he even winked at her. "I know you are."

TBC

 **A slightly longer chapter to tie you over the weekend. Hope you have a good one and enjoy.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Fragile Lives**

Chapter 13

As luck would have it they ended up returning to Atlantis during the cities evening period. Meaning although it was still not that late, most of the city's personnel had already retired for the night either to rest or pursue various forms of entertainment. John was extremely grateful for the fact as the gate room was very quiet other than the evening control staff. They were well aware of the colonel's need for privacy, so kept their welcome to a minimum. Though one thing was totally predictable and strangely John embraced it as the city welcomed him back almost immediately. She seemed truly delighted, giddy almost and John was sure that she would flashed her lights if he hadn't sent a mental warning not to. Thankfully she calmed down and didn't go into lockdown confirming what the doctors had ready reassured him, he really was free of the virus. Atlantis must have considered his remaining sores a nonthreatening condition, which of course they were.

Carson insisted that John should go straight to the infirmary, at least for the night. He gave a small token protest, after all he had an image to maintain, but the doctor stated that he wasn't quite ready for total freedom just yet. However, Carson promised that come morning, he and Jennifer would assess his progress. When everything looked okay, he could be released to his quarters as long as he had lots of help during his recovery period. Naturally there were plenty of volunteers with Teyla being the first to do so. Secretly, John thought she was the only one he really wanted caring for him anyway.

Being a stubborn as ever, John had insisted on remaining on his feet during the entire transfer through the Stargate and now the lengthy walk to the infirmary. Carson had called him several choice words like mule headed, stubborn fool quite a few times. As the infirmary finally came in sight, John was beginning to agree with him as his movements were now like that of a very old man, stooped and totally breathless. He ached all over, especially his legs as it had been the longest walk he'd undertaken since being at death's door. Feeling thoroughly exhausted and more than ready for a good night's sleep, he quietly allowed the night staff to settle him into a bed.

Teyla looked at his peaceful face and smiled, it was so good to have him back home again. He was already half asleep so she moved to his side as quietly as possible as there were a few other patients nearby, sleeping peacefully by the looks of things. Taking his hand, she whispered. "I will go now as I have to check on the children but I will be back in the morning," she murmured, giving him a quick peck on the cheek.

She attempted to move her hand away but John kept hold of it. He looked at her with deep affection. "You know, you're going to have a stop with the light peck and give me a proper kiss sometime," he said quiet enough so that no one overheard.

"Whenever you are ready. Now sleep well." Teyla replied softly. With that she was gone. John fell asleep a few minutes later with a contented smile on his face.

oOo

Next morning he woke feeling totally refreshed and ready to face the world after the best night's sleep he'd had since the whole darn fiasco had begun. It was probably due to being safely back in Atlantis and the sure knowledge that things were about to change for the better regarding his personal life. Although some changes would be needed, he was confident that they could work something out between them. He was still daydreaming about Teyla when Rodney suddenly bustled up to his bed.

"Hey thought you were staying on Calabria a little longer?" Before John could say anything to that, Rodney continued. "Mind you, I can't blame you. It's just that nobody told me you were coming back. If I'd known I would have come by last night. I wasn't asleep. Why did you leave anyway?"

"If you let me get a word in edgeways I'll tell you." John muttered as he fumbled about for the controls to raise his bed. Rodney beat him to it and stabbed the button quite forcibly until John had to tell him to stop when the head section rose to a near vertical position.

"Oops…bit too far."

"You could say that." John grumbled under his breath.

Rodney quickly lowered it until John was comfortably sitting at the right angle. "So why did you come back early?"

"We were kindly advised to leave the planet. It seemed some folks needed someone to blame for the outbreak and the death of their people."

"Hey…you had nothing to do with it."

John sighed. "They weren't after me, Rodney. They blamed Beth. Thankfully she was quickly brought here." Rodney looked a little confused, so John asked. "Don't tell me you didn't hear about Nurse Williams bringing Beth and Torren back yesterday for safety reasons?"

"Nope, I've been in my lab most of the time playing catching up on some necessary work seeing as your little crisis kept me away from it for a while."

"Sorry to inconvenience you." John replied sarcastically.

"Yeah well, can't be helped" Rodney quickly changed the subject. "What did they want to do to her?"

"Don't ask but whatever, it would have been something no child deserves."

Rodney thought about it for a minute. "Oh god, they wanted to…."

"Yeah." John shuddered at the thought of the innocent little one and what could have happened to her if he hadn't picked her up out of that drain. She may have survived somehow only to be slaughtered by a group of revengeful townsfolk, if they had realised the truth that is.

"Rodney! What are you doing here before we've even had a chance to examine the Colonel or give him his breakfast?" Jennifer Keller reproached her fiancé as she came to stand at the foot of John's bed. It left John wondering what time it really was.

Rodney didn't look the least bit guilty. "I know it's still quite early but I came to ask him why he's back. He told me the whole thing about Beth. That's awful."

Jennifer nodded and looked at John with a big smile. "Glad you were able to defuse the situation, Colonel."

"Well…it certainly got me out of bed." John said no more so that Rodney wouldn't ask him any awkward questions. Hopefully his friend would think it was due to his lingering soreness.

Jennifer didn't make a thing of it either knowing that John wouldn't appreciate having his little breakdown made known, even to his good friend. She knew the medical staff would keep it to themselves out of their great respect for the colonel and of course, patient confidentiality. She grabbed Rodney's arm. "Come on leave my patient alone so he can eat in peace. After that we'll do the assessment Carson promised you. Okay, Colonel?"

John nodded as Rodney muttered. "Going already. If my fiancée doesn't release you from prison soon enough, just give the word and I'll help you escape."

"Thanks, Rodney. I'll keep that in mind."

Thankfully, John didn't need Rodney's help as both doctors agreed that he would be better off recouping in his own quarters. He had strict orders to rest, eat well, do mild exercise from time to time, but under no circumstances was he to do any work, not even reports or the like. John had no problem obeying that order and he promised to follow their advice to the letter as he knew he was still far from fully recovered. And with the big wedding a few weeks away now, at least he thought so, John was determined he wouldn't look like something the cat dragged in when he played best man.

Teyla arrived in the infirmary shortly afterwards and together with Jennifer they arranged a schedule for John's care, at least for a week or so. Knowing John, he would recover quickly now that he had a more positive frame of mind and would probably be independent in no time at all.

Finally finished with their discussion, Teyla approached John's bed to find him already sitting up and patiently waiting. He was dressed in a t-shirt and sweatpants. He gave her a slight smile but Teyla had the feeling he was in more pain then he liked to admit. Probably caused by the few sores that still needed plenty of healing. "Are you all right?" she asked him quietly so none of the nursing staff could overhear.

John slowly stood being careful not to put too much strain on his skin. "I'm fine, come on let's go before they change their minds."

Teyla nodded and walked by his side as she accompanied him out. She refrained from touching him as she was still unsure of where their relationship really stood at the moment and she knew John wouldn't appreciate any form of intimacy in front of his men. Thankfully Ronon joined them a few minutes later. He would have no qualms about helping John if he needed it, which of course he stubbornly wouldn't.

It took longer than normal for them to reach John's door but it wasn't entirely due to his slower than normal pace. Naturally people were delighted to see him back and relatively mobile, greetings had been exchanged by almost everyone they meet. Thankfully no one wanted to talk other than polite gestures like, 'Welcome back or good to see you on your feet again, sir.' Nevertheless, John was more than grateful when they reached his private sanctuary.

Ronon didn't come in stating that he had a few things to catch-up on and that Major Lorne had already arranged a training session for some of the new recruits. John winced knowing that the Satedan never held back the punches. He told Ronon to go easy on his men because you never know when you might need their help.

Teyla followed John into his quarters. She took in his weary appearance and immediately suggested. "I think you should lie down for a while."

John had already moved over to his freshly made-up bed. "Couldn't agree more." he replied as he carefully eased himself onto it. Fluffing up the pillows, he lay back and smiled up at her. "So how are the kids?"

"They are fine. Amiera is looking after them at the moment. When you feel ready, I believe they would like to see you. Beth in particular keeps asking where Yon is? Torren keeps correcting her, trying very hard to get her to say your name properly."

John gave a little chuckle. "Like Torren pronounces it correctly."

Teyla had to agree with him, but at the same time she wanted to defend her son. "Well at least he is nearly correct."

"Yeah, he does fine considering he's only two. Bright lad that one. He seems to get on great with Beth." John sighed. "It's going to be hard when she has to leave."

Teyla looked pensive and decided this wasn't the time to discuss the little girl's future. She also had a few things to consider before talking it over with him. John needed his rest right now, so the matter would have to wait a while. "We will make plans when you are feeling a little less tired. Now sleep. I will be back later with your lunch."

John nodded, hoping she would come over and give him a goodbye kiss, even if it was only on his cheek. For some reason she didn't and he felt a little disappointed. Maybe now that he wasn't about to die on her and they were back on Atlantis, she felt differently about him. He mulled it over for a while. It was no use worrying about it as she could have a perfectly good reason. Eventually exhaustion caused him to drift off.

oOo

Rodney's babbling woke him later in the day and John wondered what the scientist was doing in his quarters. For some reason he'd slept most of the day away. He vaguely remembered Ronon bringing him some lunch and feeling disappointed that Teyla hadn't shown up, but apparently Torren had fallen and hurt his foot. It had happened just before lunchtime and as a precaution, Teyla had taken him to see a doctor. It turned out it hadn't been necessary as the injury had been very minor indeed.

Rodney spoke again making John curious about it. Either the man was talking to himself or there was someone else in the room with him. John had his face buried in his pillow because he'd ended up sleeping on his stomach, which he normally didn't do all that often. Maybe he'd subconsciously turned over because one lesion on his back was particularly sore. He carefully shifted around to see who Rodney was taking to and was surprised to also see Jennifer. She was standing with her back to his bed so she didn't notice that he was awake.

However, Rodney did and he loudly announced. "Oh you're awake."

"Well, I am now." John grumbled.

Jennifer quickly moved to his side. "Sorry to disturb you, Colonel, but I need to do a quick check. Are you feeling all right because you've slept a great deal today?" She questioned mainly because she was concerned that his depressive mood was back. She didn't mention that in front of Rodney for which John was very grateful.

John slowly turned over and sat up. "Yeah I know. I feel okay, still a bit sore in places. It's getting better though. There's nothing like having your own bed to sleep in and I guess the transfer took more out of me than I thought."

Jennifer nodded. "Well if you hadn't insisted on walking the whole way. Rodney could you wait outside for a minute, I want to take a look at his remaining sores." For once Rodney obliged as he remembered how awful the lesions had looked the last time and had no desire to repeat that experience. Once he was gone, Jennifer asked. "So you're feeling okay in yourself?"

John knew exactly what she was referring too. "Like I said I'm fine. Believe me I'm very, very glad to be home and in my own quarters again."

The young doctor smiled. "And believe me we're very happy to have you back because for a while there…." She left it unsaid as she began to check his skin over and redressed a couple of the more stubborn, slow healing sores. "Well they're looking a little better today, now let's listen to your heart and take your blood pressure. Have you any pain apart from the lesions?"

"Nope." That was the truth. John didn't say anything more as Jennifer did the necessary checks.

"Right everything's looking good. I'll leave your medication and some of Carson's wonder drink." She stood up to leave after patting his hand. "I think Teyla wants to bring the children by for a visit soon so try not to go back to sleep. Oh and it will be okay for you to take a little walk sometime before nightfall. Get someone to go with you though."

"If you leave Rodney here I'm not likely to go back to sleep and he can do the rounds with me."

Jennifer looked at little awkward. "Sorry but he won't be staying this time because we have a meeting with Mr. Woolsey in about thirty minutes to finalise the wedding ceremony."

"Oh…yeah, of course. How long is it now? I've kind of lost count."

Jennifer started to pack her things away. "Exactly two weeks. Rodney's so nervous already. I just hope he can cope when the time comes."

John smiled. "I'm sure he'll be okay. You know if it wasn't for me you'd be married already."

"Let's have none of that. We've been thought it all before, so no more guilty feelings. It's just a short delay, which won't make any difference to our long term happiness."

"Yeah, I guess you guys are practically living together anyway." That just slipped out and John felt a little awkward afterwards as he really didn't know for sure if that was the case.

Jennifer took no offence. In fact, she laughed. "Oh I wouldn't go so far as to say that as Rodney hasn't moved out of his quarters yet but he does spend quite a bit of time in mine and vice versa."

"Have you decided where to live yet?"

Jennifer nodded. "We've found a bigger place. We just need the Daedalus to bring out a king sized bed with a special mattress for Rodney then we're all set up." She tapped John's mattress. "These beds are awfully short, which makes me wonder just how tall the average Ancient was."

"Tell me about it. I should have changed this bed years ago." John commented. He said no more because Rodney popped his head through the door asking what was taking so long.

The couple left John in peace shortly after to go to their meeting. Left to his own devices John decided to get up and stretch his legs, he needed a trip to his bathroom anyway. Carefully entering the room he took care of business, thankful once again that the Ancients had designed the facilities for easy use. He had chosen these particular quarters because of the large walk-in shower and richly designed bathroom, which he'd freshened up several years ago using various shades of blue. Rodney could keep his bath as soaking for hours on end just weren't John's thing.

Afterwards he carefully moved over to the basin to wash his hands. John knew he needed a shave and should also brush his teeth as his breath was probably not the freshest. Yet he was reluctant to face the large mirror that covered the wall behind the basin and the shelf that housed his things. Reluctant to see his reflection as it would be the first time since the whole nearly dying thing had begun. It made him wonder what the hell he looked like and how bad the damage had been. He usually wasn't that vain but he was well aware that he was considered a good looking guy despite his wild, bed-head hair. Had he lost his looks in just a few short weeks since the virus had gotten hold of him? The lesions he'd been able to see on his arms had been pretty yucky looking before they'd started to heal. Jennifer had reassured him that they wouldn't leave too much scaring. Nevertheless some had, especially on his arms and chest. Okay they could still disappear over time. It was just well…what about his face?

Taking a deep breath, John picked up the courage to raise his head and face the mirror like a man. He didn't exactly gasp but the noise he made wasn't far off. What he saw explained why some of the passersby had looked at him the way they had, especially the females. It wasn't quite as bad as he thought. However, he looked terribly gaunt. Dark rings under his eyes added to the fact to make him look quite sickly still. The few sores on the side of his face were mainly healed, although the skin was still red giving the appearance of an angry rash. He definitely needed a shave, the stubble and his wild hair just added to the overall appearance of looking like a junky after an all night binge on alcohol and drugs.

 _Not that good looking now are we?_ John thought as he stared for a few more minutes, wondering if his despair was really over. Then another thought entered his mind. Rodney's wedding was two weeks away and there was no way he would look like this when he gave his speech. He still had to write it but at least he had plenty of time now to do so. John decided he had to pull himself together and put all the horrors behind him and move on. One thing that may have helped would have been a long hot shower but the doctors had been adamant that he should wait until all the sores were completely scabbed over. One on his leg and another on his arm were still covered in dressings being stubborn to heal, they were actually the first ones to appear when his illness had first started. Well if he couldn't shower then he could certainly have a darn good wash.

He came out of the bathroom thirty minutes later to find Teyla and the children waiting patiently on his bed. "Sorry, I didn't hear you come in."

Teyla smiled at him. "We have only been here a few minutes. I hope you do not mind that we let ourselves in. I rang the chime. However, you did not answer and I was concerned until I realised you were probably in the bathroom."

John sat beside her and loosely wrapped his arm around her. "Hey it's alright you can enter anytime while I'm laid-up…." He was about to say more when Beth climbed onto his lap and flung her arms around his neck. John winced as she pressed more than one or two really tender places. He put up with it though as he really didn't want to push the child away. "Nice to see you too, kids." He turned to Torren to make sure he included him in that sentiment.

Thankfully Torren didn't make a move to jump on him like he sometimes did, instead he said. "Momma says you have boo-boos so I must leave you alone. Beth no listens to Momma."

John ruffled the boy's hair. "I don't think she understands quite yet, Torren. Thank you for being so kind and thoughtful because I do hurt." He turned to Teyla with a smile and they looked each other directly in the eyes. If the kids hadn't have been there John was sure they would have shared a warm and passionate kiss. Not that he was ready for anything more just yet but a kiss would have been nice. "We still need to have that talk sometime," he reminded her.

"Yes we do. Maybe when the children are tucked up in bed you could come by and we can talk. It does not have to be straight away as you are still not fit enough to spend too long out of bed."

John was kind of disappointed by the suggestion to wait but he didn't show it. She was right he did need to be fitter before spending the evening at her place. "Okay we can wait a little longer. We have to talk about Beth's future as well. Do you know of any couple that could take her in?"

Teyla shook her head. She didn't want to go there at this moment, so she tried to put him off. "That can also wait. Do not underestimate how much she might understand of what we say."

John looked at the little girl who was still cuddled into him, busily sucking her thumb. What was it about this child that made them so close? A thought sprung to mind but it was a stupid notion as he had never been to Bellem, so there was no way she could be his daughter. Anyway she didn't look a bit like him and what little hair was now growing through was very fair indeed. And despite what Rodney liked to call him, he really hadn't had that many encounters over the last six years. In fact, he couldn't even remember the last time.

"Yeah you could be right," he murmured before saying. "Jennifer said I should take a little walk. Feel like going with me kids, plus mum of course?"

Torren understood and immediately jumped off the bed. Teyla stood up and reached to take Beth out of his arms but she clung to him tightly. "Come on, little lady, you can hold my hand and help me along. You too Torren" John called. Beth must have understood now because she allowed John to put her down and together they left his quarters hand in hand.

Teyla followed behind them, amused to see John playing the role of dad so well. It shouldn't have surprised her really because he had always been good around children. It only confirmed something she really needed to do. She only hoped that John would go along with it even though it would mean some upheaval in their lives.

TBC


	14. Chapter 14

Fragile Lives

Chapter 14

"Mister Woolsey, may I have a word with you please?" Teyla requested as she entered his office.

Richard looked up from his computer and smiled. He always enjoyed a conversation with the young Athosian. She was highly intelligent and intuitive with the added bonus of being a delight to look at. "Yes of course, please take a seat," he invited. "I keep meaning to go and see the Colonel but I thought I'd let him have a few days peace before I intrude."

"Dr. Keller passed on your good wishes for a speedy recovery and I know the Colonel appreciated that. However, I am sure he would welcome a visit from you. He is doing much better now that we are back in Atlantis."

"Believe me I'm only too relieved to have him back with us. Tell him I will be along to see him in the near future. I am also well aware that Dr. Keller has written him off duty for at least the next three weeks. Under the circumstances, he can take as long as he needs before he has to resume his full duties."

Teyla smiled. "I will pass the message on, although knowing the Colonel he will anxious to resume his duties once he is feeling better."

"Yes, I imagine so." Woolsey began to shuffle some papers as if he needed something to do with his hands. "Now what can I do for you?"

Teyla leant forward slightly as if she had something secret to tell him but what she was about to say was going to be a little difficult. "I wish to leave the Colonel's team." There she had said it.

Woolsey remained quiet for a minute. He shuffled his papers again, then quickly put them aside when he realised what he was doing. "May I ask why? And have you spoken about this to the Colonel yet?"

"No, I have not yet had the chance. I am sure once I explain my reasons he will not object." _Well, not_ _much_ , she hoped. "I will clarify everything for you when things have been settled with the Colonel. If he agrees, I wish to become a little more involved in liaison work for both Atlantis and my people. Although not full time as I also wish to spend more quality time with my son. I feel that he has been neglected somewhat since his father died. Then with our increased missions of late, I do not see him as often as I would like and he is getting to the age when he will need more tuition."

"Yes, I know. I feel a little guilty about that, especially the last mission. It could have gone to another team but Councillor Morina Delmoi was adamant that your team should investigate. Somehow in hindsight, I find that a little disturbing."

Teyla nodded, she found that knowledge troubling too. "Well, I know the Colonel would not have wanted any other team exposed to the virus. Yet it does make you wondered if someone already knew about the outbreak?"

Richard slowly nodded. "Yes it does. However, I believe that would be very difficult to prove. If it was intended to kill you or any of your team, or even spread the disease to Atlantis then it was a very unpredictable method indeed."

"I agree and if it really was a plot against us, then they greatly underestimated the ability of our medical staff to act so quickly." A sudden thought entered Teyla's mind. "I wonder if they knew about the child."

"They couldn't have possibly known the child was a carrier. I understand it even took Dr. Biro a while to find that out."

"Yes, you are probably right." Then Teyla slowly shook her head. "As John would say, I think we are clutching at straws. There are too many holes in such a plot. Also they would have had no idea how deadly the illness would be in Tandria."

"Unless they intended only to incapacitate your team or Atlantis," Richard sighed. "No, you are right there are too many plot holes to make a viable assumption. Even if there was, we would be very hard pressed to prove it. The people of Bellem really didn't know too much concerning the child's history only that the women she was with had only been on the planet for a day or so before the virus outbreak occurred there. She died approximately two days after falling ill."

Teyla looked puzzled. "I wonder where they came from originally then and how did Beth end-up living with an aunt on Calabria?"

"There again no one knows. They presumed the dead woman to be the child's mother. Like the other victims she'd been cremated to prevent further contamination and a family had taken Beth in until maybe some other relatives could be found. That problem was quickly solved as a couple of days later, a man came through the Gate saying that she would be going to live with a relative on Calabria. Apparently he didn't seem concerned or the least bit upset about the woman's demise."

Again Teyla found the whole matter very odd. She spoke her thoughts out loud to Woolsey. "And the people on Bellem just handed Beth over to a complete stranger without asking any further questions."

"Yes, well. I think they were glad to pass the child on and I believe he had some form of documentation with him."

Teyla still didn't like it. "I wonder how they knew her mother had died unless someone quickly got a message to the relative on Calabria. I am beginning to think the so called mother and the one on Calabria may not have been related to Beth at all."

Richard pondered the thought for a moment. "You could be right. Maybe the little girl was taken by someone who dealt in child abduction for financial gain. The couple on Calabria could have actually paid for her. Regrettably for them in more ways than one. However, once again that's going to be difficult to prove because the victims are no longer with us and seeing as the couple posed as the child's relatives it's highly unlikely anyone would have known the truth." He sighed out loudly. "Well, I suppose we are going to have to leave it at that for now, although Councillor Kelore has promised to do some more investigation into the matter. I'll have to inform him of our suspicions because if there is a child slave or trading racket going on it needs to be stopped."

Teyla shuddered at the thought. "Yes it certainly does. I will mention it to the Colonel."

Richard looked thoughtful. "I'm only very thankful that he survived the dreadful sickness and that no one else became infected. Although one good thing has come of it as Dr. Keller assures me that they have every hope of developing a viable vaccine against the virus. So the people of Bellem and Calabria should be better protected in the future should another outbreak occur."

"That is very good to hear. I will also inform the Colonel of that hopeful bit of news." Teyla rose from her seat. "Thank you for your time, Mr. Woolsey. Now I must go and get some lunch for him and the children."

"Is he looking after them then?"

Teyla smiled. "When I left they were both cuddled into him. They were fast asleep as was the Colonel."

Richard also smiled at the image that conjured up. "I understand he has become quite attached to the little girl. It's going to be hard when she has to go. Have you found a family for her yet?"

Teyla wondered how Richard could possibly think she had found the time seeing as she had only been back a few days. She refrained from mentioning that as she had other plans."There is really no one suitable among my people as they are still trying to rebuild their lives after the horrors of Michael's experiments. Many young couples have opted to try for families of their own to boost the population. Apart from three babies already born, six other couples are expecting new additions within the next few months or so. I would not want to burden them with an additional child at the moment." Teyla said no more for a few seconds. "Have no fear when everything works out as I believe it will, Beth will have a secure future very soon." She left it at that knowing that Mr. Woolsey would probably work it out. If not she would inform him eventually.

Woolsey stopped her just as she was about to leave his office. "Please let me know how the Colonel reacts to your request. I'm sure he won't be too delighted by the news as the team has been together for a long time now."

Teyla nodded. "We will see."

Returning to John's quarters with a loaded tray of food, Teyla found him wide awake while the children appeared to be still fast asleep as they cuddled into him on either side.

He smiled up at her and for the first time since the illness had begun he actually appeared younger and a bit healthier as the awful dark rings and ghostly pallor were slowly beginning to fade. "How long does Torren normally sleep?" he whispered.

"Around midday not usually this long but he did not sleep so well last night as I believe he has more teeth coming through. Hopefully they will be the last for a little while." Teyla put down the tray on the low cupboard. "The children will have to wake up soon as I have brought some lunch for us all."

"Good, I am kind of hungry." John announced a little louder, hoping to rouse the kids. His deep rumble did the trick as both children moved and started to stretch. "Wow you sure know how to act like a pussy cat." John commented.

Torren looked at him with big eyes. "What a puttee cat, Unca Juhn?"

"A pussy cat is an animal that lives on Earth. Remember when we went on vacation to that nice beach?" Torren looked unsure but he nodded anyway. Then John realised he was really still too young to remember something like. "When we were there this big ginger pussy cat came into the house and cuddled up on your mom's knee. You got to stroke its lovely soft fur."

"Really?"

"Yeah really. I think there's a picture of a pussy cat in that book we got you while we were on Earth. You know the one with all the animals and things in it so you could learn all their names and what they look like." Torren nodded. "Now I personally prefer dogs but that's because I always had one as a child." John chose not to mention that he found cats too fussy and intelligent for their own good. Of course there were cat like creatures throughout Pegasus, some small like domestic cats and others large enough to revival even the biggest African lion.

Torren suddenly jumped off the bed. "Go get book, momma!"

Teyla smiled at her son. "Later, right now we have to eat lunch." Teyla noted that the whole time John had been telling the tale, Beth had looked to him with pure adoration in her eyes. She'd been quite content to simply lie there and listen to the deep rumble of his voice. There certainly was a connection between man and child making Teyla's plans all the more important.

Teyla waited as John sat up and took Beth over to the lounge seat. They sat down together while Teyla moved the tray onto the table next to John's untouched laptop. She grabbed Torren and placed him near her as she sat down on the edge of the bed. John leant over and handed her some food.

They eat in silence for a while and John began to wish they had a couple of high chairs for the children as they were making a bit of a mess. He broke the silence. "We could do with a dog right now to clean up the mess you kids are making."

Ever serious, Teyla took his comment to heart. "Do not worry, John, I will come by and clear it away once the children are with Amiera. She will be looking after them this afternoon."

John reached over again and took her hand. "Hey, it was just an observation but I'd love to see you without the kids when you've got the time."

"As long as you do not fall asleep again then you will see me."

He smiled at that. "Don't worry I'll definitely stay awake for that. And you can pass it along that I'll be taking a very long afternoon nap so we won't be disturbed."

Teyla agreed to do so. She left with the children thirty minutes later, although Beth made quite a fuss this time making John wonder if they weren't getting a bit too attached. He knew he had to do something about that soon. Yet the more he thought about finding a family for her, the more he disliked the idea.

TBC

 **Thanks for the feedback, please keep it coming.**


	15. Chapter 15

Fragile Lives

Chapter 15

 _So much for being left in peace_ , John thought as McKay pushed by him after he'd mistakenly answered the door. He should have ignored it and pretend to be asleep but McKay would have broken in anyway. He was going to have to have a serious talk with his friend about respecting his privacy as that seemed to have diminished since their friendship had grown over the years. "What ya want? I was just going to take another nap."

"What you can't be serious. All you do is sleep."

John went back to his bed and settled down, rubbing his forehead as he rested against his propped up pillows. McKay was giving him a headache already and he'd only been in the room a minute or so. "In case you didn't notice I've been very ill and I can't help it if I feel tired all the time. I'm sure Jennifer would back me up."

Rodney kind of ignored him to look around. "Getting to be a messy eater in your old age, I see."

John sighed loudly. "Teyla brought the kids here and we had lunch together," he explained in the way of defence.

"Oh yes, she did mention something about that. Want me to clean it up?"

The offer was tempting as it would give Teyla more free time to talk and hopefully cuddle when she got here but John didn't think he could stand too much of Rodney's babble right now. "Na, it's okay, Teyla said she would do it while the kids were with Amiera. Now if you don't mind, I'd like to rest before she arrives." For once John thought Rodney would take the hint, instead he plonked himself on the lounge chair and booted up his laptop. "Hey that's my private computer you're using."

"Keep your shirt on, I won't look at any of your porn photos, I just want to show you a picture of the wedding outfit and see what you think."

John's patience was running thin. "Firstly, I don't have anything like that on my computer and secondly, I'll have to shoot you if you open anything marked highly classified." Rodney didn't react at all to that. It was almost as if he hadn't heard the comment. John sighed again. Although he was interested in Rodney's upcoming nuptials, he didn't think he really needed to see Rodney's suit. Then a disturbing thought struck him, "Hey … er … will it be okay if I wear my dress blues or do you want me to wear a suit too?" Which could prove to be a bit of problem seeing as he didn't have anything suitable here on Atlantis.

Rodney turned away from the laptop. "Jennifer wants everyone in civilian outfits, so baring a fully blown Wraith attack, no uniformed military personnel around other than the necessary guards. So if your Marines could keep a low profile it would be much appreciated."

"So no dress uniform then. Oh boy." John rubbed his chin, he didn't need this right now and he certainly didn't really have time to sort anything out as the Daedalus was already on its way to Pegasus.

Rodney looked slightly smudge when he turned back to face the computer. "Jennifer and I talked about this and anticipated your problem. Come to think about it I've never seen you wear a suit here on Atlantis." John shook his head even if Rodney wasn't looking his way anymore. "And that's why I've booted up your laptop as we've taken the liberty and ordered you a suit along with mine. They should be here the day after tomorrow when the Daedalus finally arrives." Rodney shuddered for a moment, thinking how close they came to not needing the suit for Sheppard.

John didn't notice his mood and he certainly didn't know what to say to their thoughtfulness. He smiled at his friend. "Thanks, Rodney, that's really good of you. Let's have a look then." Rodney moved out of the way of the computer screen and John carefully stood up to look at it. He was relieved to see a perfectly normal looking tuxedo in a stylish dark grey with matching waistcoat. He nodded his approval. "Hope you got the right size?"

"Oh yes, normal for me and skinny fit for you." Rodney answered loudly.

"Ha, ha, are you sure normal will fit that podgy belly of yours?"

Rodney actually smiled at the comment. "Oh things must be getting back to normal if you're ready to throw insults back at me."

"Yeah, well, getting there. I admit I've lost some weight but I have every intention of putting some on before the wedding." John looked at him. "We'll settle the bill when…"

Rodney held up his hand. "No charge and you can even keep it to wear at your own nuptials sometime, whenever that will be."

John nearly sputtered at that. "Been there, done that. I'm not good at it." To which Rodney muttered something John didn't catch. "What was that?"

Rodney drove the laptop down. "I'm not sure I'll be that good at it either but I'm not backing out this time."

"Well, that's really good to hear. You just keep that attitude going, alright. And Rodney, thanks but I will pay my way so just let me know how much I owe you."

Rodney didn't say anything to that as he still intended to let John have the suit as a gift. Luckily, Teyla entered as a distraction at that very moment, even if she gave an auditable groan upon seeing him there. "Rodney, I thought I said John would be resting."

Rodney held up his hands once again. "Going already. I offered to clean up but he said you could do it."

"Yes that is why I have come. After all fifty percent of the mess was made by my son."

"Right then I'll leave you to it." With that Rodney actually walked out and left them in peace.

"Wow, I never expected that." John murmured as he eased himself back onto the bed.

"I think he knows very well I would have booted him out if he had not moved. Did he show you the suit?"

"You knew about it?"

Teyla looked a little guilty as she came and perched herself on the bed. Taking his hand, she looked into his eyes. "Rodney was so unsure about ordering it. He was afraid that you would not need it. I told him to go ahead anyway as I had every faith that you would somehow survive. Thankfully you did and now you will have a lovely suit to wear."

Overwhelmed by her sentiment, John pulled her down to lay next to him. He wrapped his arms around her, pleased when she didn't pull away or resist. Looking into her beautiful eyes, he gently placed his lips upon hers for a tender kiss. She responded and gently wrapped her arms around his neck to hug him being careful not to press too hard against his still healing sores. He loved her so much and although he still couldn't act upon it fully, he had every intention of doing so in the near future, if she was willing of course.

They eventually broke apart. "I believe we should have done that a long time ago." Teyla commented. "We have been so very..." she paused to find the right word.

"Blind?" John suggested. Teyla nodded as John murmured. "Yeah we were." He remained silent for a moment. There was something he desperately wanted to ask her. Yet he didn't know how to approach the subject as he feared she might take it the wrong way. He glanced down at his hand still held tightly in hers. "I should have acted upon my love for you a long, long time ago. Then you got together with Kanaan and I knew it was too late for me. I'm so sorry he was taken from you, even though from a selfish point of view it gave me a chance to set things right. But if I could bring him back for you, I would do so in a heartbe…."

Teyla quickly placed her finger on his lips to silence him. "I will not say that I did not love Kanaan but what I am about to tell you may help to put your doubts to rest. Kanaan was a childhood friend and as the years went by I grew to admire him. Then you and your people came along and I saw hope for the first time. Hope in defeating the Wraith even if the task seemed like an impossible one. I was attracted to you from the moment you walked into our camp. Your openness and humour was so refreshing. Then by rescuing us your brave act showed me that you were worthy of my esteem and that of my people. However being on your team, fighting side by side from one crisis to the next gave me no real opportunity to explore my true feelings for you. So as time went by I became content in our friendship knowing that you were there for all of us. And even though I had grown to love you with all my heart I turned to Kanaan as he began to take notice. Things became romantic between us quite quickly and I believed that to be the right path to take as it pleased my people to see us together. After Torren was born I saw no other future other than to be with Kanaan for my son's sake. However, there were many disagreements between us during the year after our rescue from Michael. Among many problems, Kanaan was not always happy to be on Atlantis as he felt his worthiness could not be fulfilled. He was often lonely, felt isolated, and even though he looked after Torren while I was away, he felt useless."

John wasn't that surprised as he knew Kanaan had had many problems integrating into city life. Especially when they were on Earth as the IOA had refused to give him clearance to leave Atlantis, meaning he had been unable to join in things like Teyla and Torren had. That included their wonderful vacation to his beach house on Kauai. "We tried offering him work but he always turned it down," John stated. "And I thought he'd willingly agreed to take care of Torren?"

"At first he did but later I was guilty of neglecting him on many occasions. Now I have come to realise it was a form of escape. I would often join you and others for my meals as a way to avoid him. In the end, we saw very little of each other and only shared a bed for sleeping. And although he was always there for Torren, I believe we were slowly drifting apart. Also I think he knew that I had secret feelings for you. He even accused me of it on several occasions. I always denied it but after my love for him started to fade a little, I began to resent his accusations and moodiness. However, despite those failings I wished to stay with him for Torren's sake. I also came to rely heavily on him, so when he died I took it rather badly. I am so sorry, John. I know I pushed you away at the beginning, although you tried so very hard to help me, to console me when you had the time."

"I wanted to Teyla. I wanted to help you through that difficult period but I still believed I had no place in your heart. Anyway it wouldn't have been very noble of me to make a move on you while you were still grieving." John lightly pressed his lips to hers again. "I'm so sorry for my short sighted stupidity over the years. Guess I was afraid of making a mess of things again. Hopefully we'll now have plenty of time to play catch-up."

"I wish that very much indeed." Teyla looked at him, almost too nervous now to tell him of her plans. How would he react? Would she fear for him whenever he went on a mission, especially if she wasn't with him to watch his back? However, she could never tell him to no longer put himself into any kind of dangerous situation. She would never do that to him. To add to his burdens as life out here was just too fragile. That was one of the reasons she had to leave his team. It had been difficult enough in the past watching him face any kind of danger, so now that their relationship had turned to romance it would be even more difficult.

John looked at her anxiously as he could see her troubled expression. "I'm sorry I should never have assumed…."

"What? Oh John, my hesitation has nothing to do with being with you. I wish that with all my heart. However, I do have something to discuss." Once again she paused making him even more anxious. "I have spoken to Mr. Woolsey and requested a change to my position on your team. He of course told me to speak to you about it."

John went cold. He had a good idea what she meant by that. "Are you trying to tell me you want out?"

She nodded. "It is for the best. If our relationship is to stand any chance at all, then I must leave your team."

John knew her decision made sound sense for various reasons, although he didn't have to like it. He chewed on his bottom lip for quite a while, remaining silent while he digested the idea. Despite weighing up the pros and cons, he still didn't like the idea of losing her support on his team. However, as the minutes ticked by he knew he had to do something to elevate her fears. To reassure her as she was beginning to look very worried indeed. Reluctantly, he slowly accepted the idea.

He pulled her down for another kiss and murmured. "Guess the IOA and Air Force wouldn't have allowed it anyway, so I'll just have to let you go. I will miss you more than you can ever imagine and I'll probably regret letting you go every single day we're out there. You're a better diplomat then all three of us men put together, so I can't vouch we won't get into even greater trouble in future." Teyla looked even more concerned by his words, so he quickly kissed her again. "Hey take no notice of me. It may not be as bad as I think. So what are you going to do? I'm not so keen that you join someone else's team."

There was one of the reasons. Teyla knew for sure that her decision had been a correct one because he was already trying to protect her. She could have taken great offence at the fact that he questioned her ability to stay safe, yet she knew that was not the case as he had never questioned it before. It was just his natural desire to look out for her now that they were closer. She eventually put his concerns to rest. "I have requested more liaison work so that I hopefully will have more time for Torren and Beth. I feel I have neglected Torren's care somewhat, especially now that his father is no longer with us to help me look after him."

"So getting mixed up in politics? That's equally as dangerous as fighting the Wraith." Teyla wanted to defend her decision but John gently placed a finger upon her lips. "I was just joking. So you hope that kind of work will give you more free time?" He looked doubtful. "You're definitely going to have to keep a close eye on Woolsey otherwise he'll have you working fulltime just to keep the Coalition happy. But I can see your point concerning Torren. He really needs his mom around. This business with me didn't help either did it? It kept you away from him for far too long."

"That was an unusual circumstance and you know it, so please do not take the blame or I will use my Bantos sticks and beat it out of you."

"Wow, no need to get nasty." John chuckled slightly and then surprised Teyla by saying. "Okay I agree it wasn't entirely my fault." He paused for a moment. "I see you mentioned Beth. You know we still need to find a family for her."

"I already have, John, and that is another reason I wish to take less work."

He looked at her for a second until the penny dropped. "You can't be serious?"

"I am very serious. She needs a family and I would happily welcome her. Also Torren has taken to her well and he needs her companionship as there are no other children on Atlantis. It has always been a concern of mine. I even considered going back to my people for that very reason. Now Beth has been sent to be with us and..."

Before she could finish, John pulled her in for yet another kiss. He eventually broke away and surprised her once again by saying. "I think that's a great idea. To tell you the truth I was trying to find a way to keep her here with me. I...I know she's not my kid or anything but somehow...we seem to be...really attached already. Though as hard as I tried, I just couldn't see how I could keep her. My damn job takes up too much time." Teyla went to say something, John held up his hand. "I know I have to speak to Woolsey about that too."

"I hope you do as I will not be willing to have long periods when I do not see anything of you. However there is something you should know concerning the child."

John looked worried. "Nothing serious I hope?"

"No, it is nothing to do with her health or anything." Teyla then when on to describe the conversation she'd had with Woolsey.

John listened without interruption. He frowned when she'd finished, making Teyla want to smooth it away. Seeing her worry again over his reaction, he eventually said. "So we've been assuming the woman who died on Bellem was her real mother?" Teyla nodded. "What if she really was just part of the transfer deal?" Teyla looked thoughtful, his words mirrored her but she wanted to hear his opinion. "I mean Beth could have been abducted or sold by some desperate people or even a young girl who got herself pregnant. The woman who took her to Bellem could have just been a go between while a deal was made with the couple on Calabria. If that's so, the outbreak would have caused a huge problem for them. So they had to act quickly and the child was ultimately delivered to couple before any awkward questions could be asked."

Teyla nodded slowly. "That is all speculation, John."

"Yeah, I know but if there is a ring of child traffickers operating out there then we need to investigate."

"Mr. Woolsey has already said that Councillor Kelore is looking into the matter."

John looked uncertain as if he didn't believe the man was up to the job. "We owe it to Beth to try and find her real parents. So as soon as I'm able, I'll be doing just that."

Teyla knew that John wouldn't rest until the truth was found. It only saddened her that maybe one day they may have to give the little girl up.

TBC

 **Hope you enjoyed this chapter.** **Please review and thanks again for reading for far. T** **here's reference to John owning a beach house on Kauai in my story 'Mending Fences'. I'm guessing that they could have taken a vacation there sometime while stuck on Earth.**


	16. Chapter 16

Fragile Lives

Chapter 16

Another round of laughter and applause accompanied the clang of glasses being raised in a toast. With his speech over at long last, John could finally sit down and take the weight off his aching feet. He just wasn't used to wearing dress shoes anymore and this particular pair pinched his feet dreadfully. His boots would have been far more comfortable but they wouldn't have looked good at all with his tux. At least that's what Teyla had told him when he'd tried them on together with the suit.

Anyway now John could sit back, relax, and listen to Rodney's overly babbly speech as he began to thank everyone for their good wishes. Rodney suddenly turned to John and thanked him for not being as embarrassing as he had feared. John lifted his glass and told him he did it so as not to put Jennifer off him for the rest of her life. A spattering of laughter followed before Rodney carried on. The only trouble with Rodney's speech was the fact that he made it sound more like he was giving a science lecture, like he was describing the inner workings of a Stargate rather than his marriage to the lovely young doctor. But that was McKay. John knew he would never change and in a way he never wanted him to. Eventually Rodney raised his glass in a toast to his beautiful bride, meaning John had to stand up again. So he raised his glass and smiled at his friend, giving him a short nod of approval.

So McKay was a married man, who would have thought that and despite everything, he thankfully hadn't backed out. Although on one or two occasions he'd come pretty close to doing so. The man had been an absolute nervous wreck during the days leading up to his wedding and John had spent hours trying to get him to calm down. At times he'd even threatened to have Ronon stun him just to shut him up.

Able to sit down again, John exchanged a quick smile with Rodney's sister Jeanie who was sitting next to him. Although heavily pregnant with her second child she'd had to come alone as the IOA in their wisdom had refused to allow her family to attend despite the fact that Kaleb knew all about the Stargate program. It was probably more the fact that Madison was at an age when she just might accidently spill the beans to her school friends. To date she didn't know anything regarding her uncle's secret work. It would have nice for Rodney to have had his whole family here and Jennifer too but that's the way things were when you worked on a top secret project.

John turned his attention to Teyla where she sat next to her son and Beth on a table just below his. He would have preferred to be sitting with them but being best man meant he was on the top table with Rodney and Jennifer, at least during the formal meal and speeches. Teyla had done a great job controlling the children, although Beth had tried to escape and join him on several occasions. He smiled at that as Teyla used her quiet persuasion to keep the little girl by her side for the time being.

His connection to the child still baffled him a little. Dr. Robinson had come up with the theory that Beth's reaction was due to the fact she had been dramatically traumatised by the dreadful deaths she had witnessed. John had been the first person to connect with her after the events, and to give her protection and kindness. However, somehow John didn't think that had been the total reason. Then about a week ago another theory had immerged when they discovered by accident that Beth carried the ATA gene. John had taken her into his favourite jumper to show her around. They had sat together in the pilot's seat and like all children Beth had immediately begun to reach for the shiny objects in front of her. The control panel lit-up even before John had thought about it. After that Carson ran tests and confirmed the fact. Although very rare among Pegasus natives, Beth did indeed have the gene. Somehow the information had got out and the rumour mill went wild after that as many started to speculate that John was indeed her father. A fact that he'd denied quite strongly until a DNA test had proven beyond a doubt that he wasn't Beth's father, although it did seem that they both shared a common ancestry. John had speculated that one of the Ancients may have been a bit of a lad, having a fling or two in Pegasus before retreating to Earth when Atlantis was abandoned. So somehow they seemed to be connected through the gene even though thousands of years had gone by. An interesting fact according to Carson and one he wanted to look into at a later date when he had the time.

Teyla caught his eye and threw him a look that bordered on adoration. He returned it with a warm smile and a subtle wink. She looked gorgeous in her low cut, red dress and he had told her so several times before the ceremony. They had grown even closer during the lead-up to the wedding. Teyla had spent more time in his quarters than her own it seemed as she helped him to fully recover. When his pain had diminished and he'd been able to move more freely they had gone to the gym for a daily workout of gentle exercises to strengthen his limbs and slowly give him back his stamina. They'd even made a routine of sitting out on one of the piers when the weather was fine to soak up some sun. Now two weeks since his return, he could finally face a mirror without getting a shock as he looked like his handsome self again. His face had more colour and the dark shadows were gone. The skin lesions were clearing up nicely. And although it would still take a while before they faded completely, he had every reason to believe they would and not leave him with any unsightly scaring.

Now nothing stood in the way of showing Teyla just how much he loved her, nothing other than his insecurity and reservations. Despite telling himself over and over again that he was a grown man and one that had once been married at that, for some reason the idea made him feel like a teenager during his first encounter. Maybe some of the problem stemmed from the fact that he had longed to make love to Teyla for so many years now. And the fact that he never thought it would ever happen. Now he was afraid of failure. _Would consummating their relationship spoil things?_ Ruin the wonderful friendship they shared.

John looked at her again, at her beauty and fine composure, and he knew for a fact that he was being a coward and a total fool. What would she think if he couldn't show her how much he loved her by not making love to her? When she consented of course, and although there were many ways to show a person that you loved them, physical love was the ultimate. And he really did want to love her, so he told himself to get over it already and show her how much he cared. It took a quick sip of his wine to back that thought up. Not too much mind you as that really would put a damper on his plans for later.

Amiera had kindly agreed to look after the children as the wedding party was likely to go on way past their bedtime. The young Athosian girl had smiled and suggested that the children sleep in her quarters, easier that way she had pointed out. Teyla had thanked the girl with her own big smile. So that left nothing standing in the way of spending the night with Teyla, in his quarters though as the idea of sleeping in the bed she had once shared with Kanaan just didn't appeal to him at all. They would have to do something about that and find some larger quarters for them to share with the children.

People were getting up and moving around, going over to congratulate the newly married couple so John slipped out of his seat and went to join his family. His family, he liked the sound of that.

oOo

They moved onto the balcony taking in fresh air to cool down after their last dance. The children were a long time in bed after wearing themselves out dancing around for hours and having great fun. Rodney and Jennifer had gated through to Earth for their honeymoon a while ago now, as had Jeanie as she had stated that she wanted to get back to her family as quickly as possible. After that the party had slowly wound down until there was no one left other than them.

It was a beautiful night. Comfortably warm under the starlit canopy, perfect and so very romantic. John lifted Teyla's face and placed a slow lingering kiss upon her lips. "I guess it's time we called it a night too."

Teyla looked up at him taking in his beauty as the silvery moonlight highlighted his soft, spiky hair. She nodded and took his hand. "Yes, you are right," she murmured before leading him away from the balcony, towards his quarters. Now the night was theirs for she had placed some Shari flowers by the slightly larger bed she had found for his quarters a few days back.

oOo

Although bone tired John couldn't sleep, at least not just yet. He wanted to savour the unbelievable sense of wonderment and happiness he felt as he held Teyla in his arms. He didn't know whether she had fallen asleep or not but she seemed totally relaxed and contented as she breathed softly against him. Her thick golden hair tickled him where it fanned out across his chest but he wouldn't disturb her to move it away as it warmed his very soul to have her so close.

His fears had been totally unfounded as loving Teyla had come so very naturally. His only regret was that he had wasted so many years before finally showing her how much he loved her and he vowed he would never ever waste another day in doubt.

The subtle perfume of a Shari bloom suddenly drifted up his nose and for a minute it brought back memories of fighting for his life. Yet without that flower he might have died. John pushed the thoughts of death and illness far from his mind and concentrated on the pleasure of living, especially now that he had something worth living for. Because he had someone to love, to hold and to keep him grounded. Those pleasant thoughts drifted through his mind and before John knew it, exhaustion finally pushed him under and he slept with a contented smile.

oOo

"Colonel, may I have a word with you please." Woolsey called from his office.

John nodded to Chuck the technician and briskly walked along the gangway to Woolsey's office. Amelia turned to Chuck, a knowing look passed between them. The colonel seemed a different man these days, happier like he was walking on air. It was a joy to see. The rumour mill had it that he was almost living with Teyla Emmagan. If correct that would explain why she was no longer a member of his team. They were happy for him, really they were and as soon as the rumour was confirmed Chuck intended to collect his various bets. It had been a long time coming but the tech had predicted their union years ago.

John entered Woolsey's office and immediately plonked himself into the plush chair facing his boss. "What can I do for you?"

Woolsey looked his military leader up and down delighted to see him looking so much better. "I know you've only just returned to full duty this morning, Colonel, but I thought you might be interested to hear what Councillor Kelore has dug up concerning the child trafficking ring we believe to be operating."

John's good mood immediately evaporated because although he wanted to find out the truth behind Beth's supposed abduction, he'd grown so fond of the child that the very thought of returning her to her rightful parents was just too heartbreaking to bear. "Okay…I really didn't expect him to find out anything this quickly. Shouldn't Teyla be here to hear it?"

"I've already called for her and she should be here any minute." Richard shuffled his papers, a habit he'd picked up years ago while working as an appellate advocate in New York. He looked at Sheppard and paused as he didn't know whether he should broach the subject of the colonel's relationship with Ms. Emmagan or not. The protocol had concerned him so much that he had contacted the SGC. Not to speak to General Landry about it as he knew the man was no big fan of Sheppard's but to try and contact General O'Neill. It had taken a while as the man was now fully retired and living most of the time in his cabin out in the sticks somewhere in Minnesota. When told about Sheppard and Emmagan, the general had replied. 'About time too. She ain't our military Woolsey so as long as she stays off his team, no problem.' So that was it but Richard still felt the need to say something. He cleared his throat to speak. "I understand that you and Teyla are now dating?" He tried to sound as casual as he could, which was difficult him being an ex-lawyer and all that.

John suddenly felt aggravated by the question. It really was none of Woolsey's business but he decided to give the man a chance as he was probably concerned about the IOA's reaction, should they ever find out. "Yeah, we're an item that's why she left my team. You have a problem with it?"

"Oh heavens no, Colonel, I would never question your choice and you did the right thing by allowing her to leave. It's just that I'm surprised you two are together as you gave no indication before."

John chuckled under his breath. "Yeah took us one heck of a long time to admit our true feelings. Mainly my fault…."

"And what fault is that, Colonel?" Teyla asked as she came to stand directly behind him.

John needed to change the subject and quickly as he knew Teyla wouldn't let him take the entire blame for their lack of honesty, so he said. "Richard knows about us so can we drop the formality in front of him." John quickly added.

Teyla moved to sit down on a chair near him. "It is out of respect for your rank and I would be uncomfortable calling you anything else in front of your men," she clarified.

"Okay… that I understand and probably agree with. Although Colonel Carter used to say the military protocol around here is pretty relaxed but that's the way I like to run things. However, I agree that respect for rank is important. That's not what I meant though. I think when we're in this situation like talking privately we can be a little less…well…formal. If that's okay with you Richard?" John asked thinking back to the wonderful working relationship he'd had with Elizabeth. He still missed her so very much.

"Oh by all means. After the things we've been through together it seems only fitting."

Teyla nodded and sent a smile John's way before turning to address Richard. "You wanted to speak to us about Councillor Kelore's findings." John sighed, relieved that his distraction had worked as Teyla had now completely forgotten what she'd overheard him say about their lack of a relationship being his fault.

Woolsey answered her immediately. "Yes, indeed. It seems your theory concerning little Beth may have been correct as the man connected to the business on Bellem has been apprehended trying to use the Stargate on Basara to take a young child offworld. Luckily or in this case unluckily for him, the authorities moved quickly and blocked the Gate before he could leave. The child has since been reunited with her family and the man held for questioning. He claims to have been working for a larger group and was just doing the task as per instructions. Whether that's true or not remains to be seen, only that Basara has very strict laws concerning things like that and the man is likely to be sentenced to a lengthy imprisonment or even death depending on the family's decision."

Teyla looked slightly alarmed. "Although I do not condone his crime, a death sentence seems very harsh. I would think a lengthy imprisonment would be a more fitting punishment."

"Yeah, it would be." John agreed. "Anyway how come the family gets to decide his fate?" He couldn't remember ever going to the planet mentioned but vaguely recalled meeting with the rather disagreeable Coalition representative from Basara. It had left him with a bad taste in his mouth as the man had been very condescending indeed.

Woolsey must have had similar feelings as he replied. "Unfortunately they live by a very strict code that may appear overly rigid to us. When a crime is committed regardless of what it may be, the injured party or their family gets to sentence the accused, when they are found guilty of course. In this case, the man was apprehended when they found the missing child hidden away in a secret compartment beneath his hand cart. The child had been given a mild tranquiliser to keep her quiet. It was quickly established that the accused had no connection to the child whatsoever, which the family later verified. Therefore his guilt was immediately confirmed. Fortunately word of the arrest reached Councillor Kelore ears fairly quickly and he was able to send someone to talk to the man before he was sentenced. The accused is more than willing to provide information about his associates if he is removed from Basara and given a fairer trial."

John looked doubtful. "Let me guess, the Basara council aren't willing to allow that."

"On the contrary, once the family heard that the man may be involved in a child trafficking ring they agreed to let him stand trial in front of Coalition judges. I think as long as it is guaranteed that he will serve a reasonable sentence for his crime they will be willing to let him to leave the planet."

Although John hated the thought of losing Beth, he knew pursuing this was the right thing to do. "Okay, so first off they need to get him to spill the beans on the other members. Then we may be able to find out more and eventually return Beth to her rightful parents." He shot Teyla a look and saw her nod in agreement, although she looked slightly melancholy.

Richard cleared his throat before saying. "Councillor Kelore has requested your assistance, Colonel."

John was surprised to hear that. "Really? What does he want me to do exactly?"

"If you're feeling fit enough to make the trip, then he would like you and Ronon to do the questioning."

Teyla spoke up before John could. "I would also like to be present as I am very used to getting information out of people." Now that John could believe. Even though he hadn't been present on Croya when Teyla had questioned the jewel thief concerning her missing people, Lorne had told him all about it. If anyone could get the child trafficker to talk then Teyla and Ronon could. Not that he was a total slouch himself.

Leaning forward, Richard looked thoughtful. "I'm not sure, Teyla, as you are no longer a member of the Colonel's team."

John quickly intervened to defuse what could end up being one of Teyla's feisty replies. "It won't be a combat situation," _At least he hoped not,_ "So I don't see a problem with Teyla coming alone. If anyone questions it, then Teyla will be going as part of her liaison work with the Coalition. We won't always be able to avoid joint missions together now will we?"

Woolsey uncharacteristically rolled his eyes. "No, I suppose not. However it would be wise to keep involvement down to a minimum. In this case it will be more of a personal matter as you will be investigating the abduction of a child currently in your care. I will keep my report to the IOA as simple as possible. However, they might not consider the matter important enough to get involved in."

Teyla still looked pretty furious, so once again John quickly intervened. "They may not consider it important but the lives of young children are at risk here. We know for a fact that such things still go on back on Earth. I just hope some of the kids haven't ended up in any slave markets or worse."

Teyla shuddered at that thought. "I also hope that it not the case. But that is why we must do our utmost to stop the abductions. Although I fear there may be more than one group operating as this kind of thing has probably been going on for many years."

John looked at her and solemnly nodded. "You're probably right but we still owe it to Beth and other kids like her to try and put an end to this particular group of traffickers."

Woolsey also nodded. "I agree, however we must not turn ourselves into a galactic police force. Don't forget our first priority is still dealing with the Wraith. That is of utmost importance as hopefully it will insure that all children will have a safer future."

"Couldn't agree more." John murmured. He often wondered if the Wraith would ever be vanquished in his lifetime, although some progress had been made towards improving Jennifer Keller's retrovirus, the one that would enable the Wraith to eat normal food. He knew a lot more testing would be needed and plenty of proof before Todd or any other Wraith would be willing to trust it again. A cold shudder passed through him at the memory of the disastrous first attempt when the Hive ship had literally disintegrated around them. He turned his thoughts back to the present. "So we help Kelore deal with the prisoner and see where we go from there."

Richard stood up and smiled at them. "Very well, you have a go and good luck to you both."

TBC

 **Sorry no steamy bedroom scene as I didn't want to turn the story into an M rated one. Thanks for the continuing feedback.**


	17. Chapter 17

Fragile Lives

Chapter 17

The child kidnapper was being held in exactly the same underground prison that John recalled from their incarceration by the Pegasus coalition several years back. Not the worse place he'd never seen or been confined in but it held no comforts either. A matter McKay had complained bitterly about at the time. Thankfully the Gate address was no longer a great secret to them now that they were allies of the Coalition.

Sheppard, Teyla and Ronon silently moved along the torch lit passageway to eventually enter the bare stone holding cell. Sitting on one of the low benches was a balding, mousy looking man probably somewhere around fifty years of age. He looked pretty dejected and didn't look up even when Ronon moved to stand directly over him.

John wondered about that as he moved to stand by his team mate. Hopefully the prisoner wasn't going to prove difficult? He cleared his throat before asking. "According to Councillor Kelore you gave your name as Aldern. Is that correct?"

The man finally looked up and sneered at him. "What is it to you? I asked to be judged by the Coalition not the so called goody, goody protectors of the galaxy. You people from Atlantis think you run things around here. Well you do not."

 _So difficult._ Ronon looked about ready to knock the guy's head off, so John quickly intervened. He moved to lean over the man, looking as menacing as he could but at the same time remaining alert should the prisoner decide to attack. "We are full members of the Coalition," he spat out, "And as such we have every right to question you. Your crime is of a very serious nature. And a deplorable one at that. Dealing with children is about as low as you can get. Now are you going to cooperate or do we have to hand you over to the family of your last victim on Basara. Guess they wouldn't mind taking your head off for trying to nab their daughter."

The man's attitude dramatically changed after those words and suddenly he looked far less uncooperative. "All right if I must deal with you people then go ahead and question me. Although, I do not know what I can tell you that I have not already said."

John tried to remain calm. He stepped back a little to remove the temptation to hit the man. "Well for starters you can confirm your name to me."

"My name is Lenric Aldern."

"Good, now we're getting somewhere. As for useful information according to Councillor Kelore you haven't said much to date. So are you going to loosen your tongue or...," Ronon growled, "do I have to turn the questioning over to Mr. Dex here?"

"Or me." Teyla spoke up for the first time as she moved to make her presence known.

Aldern looked her straight in the eye. "You do not scare me, little lady."

Sheppard shook his head. "Big mistake, Lenric. I can call you Lenric, can't I?" He didn't wait for an answer before continuing. "Believe me she can kick ass better than most men I know. So don't cross her." John turned and winked at Teyla, making sure Lenric couldn't see his gesture. Ronon could. He rolled his eyes, only too happy that his friend had finally come to his senses concerning his love for her.

Lenric swallowed hard. Deep down he was a coward and knew he couldn't stand up to these people. The big man was scaring him half to death already by just standing there. He looked like he could easily pull his arms out of their sockets. "All right I will talk if you can guarantee that my prison sentence will be a short one and in a far better, safer place than this cold, bare cell."

John nodded. "That shouldn't be a problem if you give us the right information."

"I mean a very secure prison because if you do not apprehend the ring leaders and they found out I gave you information, then my life would be in very grave danger."

John stepped forward to bend a little closer to Lenric again. Deep down he knew the man was pretty spineless and fairly harmless. "If your information leads to an arrest then you should be fine as long as you move far enough away after your prison term is up. Or we can always relocate you, maybe to another galaxy. Would that be far enough away for you?"

"I should imagine so. But what protection would I have while serving my time? If we are imprisoned together they could still have me killed from within."

"Then we'll have to make sure you aren't in the same prison." John was getting a little impatient with the man. He exchanged another quick glance with Teyla before asking. "Now are you going to speak up or not?" The man nodded, murmuring an affirmative. "Okay then, let's move the other bench nearer to his and then we can start talking."

With Ronon's help, John repositioned the second stone bench and a few minutes later he and Teyla were seated directly in front of the man. Ronon preferred to remain standing. An ever present menace in the background should Lenric's tongue not wag freely enough.

Teyla spoke up first. "Can you tell us something of their organisation? How it is set up and what happens to the children after they are taken?" John detected barely controlled anger in her questioning.

Lenric cleared his throat. "I was just a pick up man. Every time I found the right child as per instructions, I was paid an agreed upon sum."

"Did you go after specific children or was it just a random thing?" John wanted to know.

"Like I said, I was usually given instructions to take a certain child. Most times the pickup was like the one on Basara when I had to take a child away from its parents or whoever without anyone's knowledge. The family on Basara were careless as they left their little one out playing alone. It was an easy task just to pick that one up. At least I thought so until I got to the Ancestral ring. I had no idea they would act so quickly. Most times people do not react until it was too late. Sometimes I had to pick up a child that had been sold by their people or an orphan that nobody wanted."

Teyla felt shocked that anyone would want to sell their child but maybe they had their reasons. "Do others also find children for them?"

Lenric turned to look directly at Teyla after she had asked that question. "Only a couple of women that I know of."

John lent forward. "Okay, Lenric, I want some names. Tell me who you're working for and where they hang out."

For a minute or so the kidnapper remained silent. Ronon moved off the wall he'd been leaning against and the man visibly shrank back a bit. Lenric quickly turned to Sheppard and looked him straight in the eye. Then he said something John wasn't expecting. "You're the one who survived the Flux outbreak on Calabria." It wasn't a question; he was just simply stating the fact.

"What's that to you?" John asked curtly.

"Nothing much other than the people I work for were real upset when they learned of your survival."

Teyla intervened before John could. "And why is that? Tell us what you know." She was getting even more uptight by the man's lack of straight forward answers. Now she was also concerned for John's safety.

Lenric could sense her anger and he also sensed that the two people seated before him meant more to each other than just work colleagues. Maybe he could use that knowledge to his advantage. "Well I believe one of the dealers is involved with someone within the Coalition council. That is where they probably get some of their information from anyway. I have no real proof nor have I ever meet the person involved directly. That is one of the reasons I need protection. It could be I am not even safe sitting in here. Although Councillor Kelore assured me that I am."

 _And the plot deepens,_ John thought. "So why were they upset about my survival? And you still haven't given us any names yet."

"The ring leader's name is..." Lenric turned to look at the guard beyond the bars. At John's gesture, Ronon went over and told the man to move away for a while. Luckily the man did so without question. Lenric seemed satisfied but nevertheless he still whispered the name. "Ehram Lanbar. He and his brother Deelan are the ones behind the whole deal. And as I said before there were a couple of woman involved as well. One of them is dead now as she had a child held on Bellem when the Flux broke out there. She was in bad health anyway, so I guess the sickness was more than her body could stand. "

 _Beth._ John felt his heart sink and he was sure that Teyla probably felt the same way as they were now a step closer to finding out where the child had come from. He knew it was wrong to feel that way as Beth could be reunited with her rightful parents but it was going to be hard to give her up. For a moment, he forgot about himself and the possible plot against him. "Can you tell us more about the child?"

"I certainly can because I was the one who delivered the baby to the couple on Calabria. That had all been arranged anyway. I was a little shocked to find that Mera had died while waiting for me to arrive on Bellem. I had been delayed due to another transaction that had nothing to do with grabbing children. Anyway I delivered the little girl and the couple paid very handsomely for her. I had no idea the child was sick or anything. If I had known I would not have dealt with her, despite her being a sweet little one. Mind you I had to shave off her golden hair because of the Flots she'd somehow picked up on Bellem or wherever. I had to do my own too. That's why my hair is so short at the moment."

John chewed on his lower lip while he considered. He didn't know what flots were, probably the Pegasus equivalent to nits. Although rather drastic that certainly explained why Beth's head had been shaved. Maybe Lenic hadn't had access to better treatments. However, John's misgivings had nothing to do with hair it was just that things weren't adding up. He knew that Lenric was involved in the whole matter, yet where had he gotten his information from? John leant forward and glared at the man. "How did you know about the illness spreading to Calabria and the deaths there, and the fact the child had been the carrier? And you still haven't told me why the dealers were so upset about my survival."

"Just hold on a minute and I will tell you, Colonel Sheppard."

"Oh, so you know my name?"

"Me and half the galaxy. Who does not know about the Military Commander of Atlantis?" Lenric paused for a minute as if considering his next words very, very carefully. "Mind you I would not have known you on sight. Figured you would be older and bigger somehow. Ideas about someone's appearance from hearsay can sometimes be very false."

"Don't let my appearance fool you into believing I'm a soft touch."

Teyla quickly spoke up. "Indeed, he can kick ass better than any man I know other than Ronon Dex."

John could have hugged her for that comment, hoping she meant it. Instead he faced Lenric and shot him his best, don't mess with me or I'll kill you on the spot look. The one he very often gave Todd and other Wraith. "So answer my questions already."

It must have worked because Lenric held up his hands and visibly shrank back a bit. "All right. By the way Councillor Kelore told me to expect you. That is how I knew you are coming, Colonel Sheppard." There were several loud sighs, so Lenric quickly said more. "I guess I was pretty lucky not to catch the Flux off the girl. Well, I was a little sick for a day or two after leaving Calabria but I thought it was just influenza or something. When Ehram gave me my next assignment he told me that people were dying in great numbers on Calabria and that the Coalition had sent to Atlantis for help. Next I heard it was said that the great John Sheppard himself had been taken down by the sickness. Ehram and his brother seemed really pleased by the news. As for the child being the carrier that was pure guess work because everyone became sick on Calabria after I delivered her from Bellem. At first I didn't even know it was the same sickness until it was later reported."

John frowned wondering how the information about his illness had gotten out and why a couple of criminals should have been so happy when he got sick. He looked Lenric in the eye. "Believe me it was no fun."

"Oh, that I can believe. Anyway it was a good few days before I returned to meet them again with another child. That time around they were not so happy. In fact they were in a real foul mood and nearly did not pay me my dues. When I asked why, they said you had survived somehow and that their contact was very, very upset about it."

John turned to Teyla and exchanged a worried look with her. "It couldn't have been planned could it?"

Teyla shook her head slowly. "I believe not. Just like we previously surmised this person more than likely used the situation hoping that you or any one of us would become contaminated with the illness. Maybe they hoped to see it spread to all of Atlantis."

John squeezed her hand. "Yeah you're probably right. I only know of one person who may feel that way."

"Shiana." Ronon growled.

"Yep, but she's still behind bars after her attempt on my life a couple of years ago."

"Do not forget she may not have been working alone. It has never been totally ruled out and many people still hold a grudge against Atlantis." Teyla pointed out.

"Yeah, I know." John turned back to Lenric. "But we're getting off track here. So tell me Lenric, where can we find these two brothers? And can you tell us where they obtained the little girl who ended up on Calabria?"

Once again the man hesitated. "I have given you good information already, have I not?" John nodded. "So if I lead you directly to them, I want to go free afterwards. Maybe to that other galaxy you spoke of. I can start a new life there."

"That's not entirely up to me, Lenric. You're under Coalition arrest. We were just asked to question you seeing as the little girl is still in our care. And you haven't told me where she came from yet."

"Do you think I know that? I was not the one to actually pick her up. That was Mera and now she is dead because she picked the wrong planet to wait on while the deal with the couple on Calabria went through. I was only asked to take her from Bellem to Calabria because Mera did not like handling that side of a deal. She was not a bad person. In fact she only picked up children from arranged contracts."

John exchanged a hopeful look with Teyla. So Beth could have come from an orphanage. He turned back to Lenric. "Look I can't promise you anything but if you lead us to the brothers I will most certainly put in a good word for you. The only thing that concerns me is the fact we don't know who their Coalition contact might be." John didn't say anymore as it could spook the man into silence but if that person were to find out he was ready to spill the beans, then Lenric's life could very well be in danger. "So for your own sake please tell us now. Where are the Lanbar brothers hanging out?"

"That is a problem. They are not stupid enough to remain on one planet for very long so they might not be at the same location. Sometimes I have to go through a contact to know where they are exactly."

"And where is this contact to be found?" Teyla asked sweetly. She was worried as the whole thing smelt off somehow.

"She trades in the Cordon market. Her name is Zuanni. Rena Zuanni."

Teyla didn't like this woman already. "And does the trader know of the true nature of the brothers' dealings?"

"No. She thinks the brothers deal in jewellery, fine wine and pottery. That is actually their sideline as a cover for their other dealings."

"Like taking children." John scowled. "And to think this goes on with some Coalition councillor's blessing. Guess they take a good cut too, meaning we have corruption in the ranks," Which really didn't surprise him as he had little trust in politicians no matter where they came from.

Lenric had the decency to look ashamed. "If it's any conciliation the children are always sold into good homes and not into slavery or worse places like the sex houses."

"Well that makes us feel a whole lot better, Mr. Aldern. And how do you know that? Did Lanbar tell you personally or do you have proof?"

Lenric lowered his head so he didn't have to look directly at Sheppard or the woman who was probably Teyla Emmagan of the Athosians. "They told me so. There have been quite a few occasions when I delivered a child to a new family. You have got to understand, many people lose their children to the Wraith or other raiders. They are desperate for a child, especially if they are older or unable to have more of their own."

Teyla felt like hitting him but controlled the desire. "And that makes you feel better?" she asked with great loathing. "What about the families you and the others took the children from? How do you think they felt?"

John threw her a glance knowing she was reliving the terrible time when Michael tried to take her son away from her. He took her hand not caring what Lenric might think. "What do you tell the families, the ones buying the children, that is?" he asked.

"I tell them the child is an orphan and they usually accept that. I believe Kyla does the same. She is the other woman I told you about." Lenric still kept his head down and Teyla knew he felt great shame, so there was hope for him yet.

John realised it too. He stood up and moved away from the bench, nodding for Teyla to do the same. "Okay, Lenric, if you help us stop the brothers, then I'll get you out of here and relocated to a safer place."

Lenric nodded. "But what about my safety in here while I wait for your return?"

Declining to answer Lenric directly, John sighed and looked at Ronon. "We're going to speak to Councillor Kelore for a while. Could you keep an eye on things until we get back?" The Satedan nodded, not saying a thing. "Make sure he stays alive. Okay?" Once again Ronon simply nodded.

They moved away from the holding cell and started down the long dark corridor leading to the stairwell. Teyla stopped halfway down and gently grabbed John's arm to halt his progress. She spoke very quietly so that no one could hear if anyone should be listening. "John, can we trust Kelore? What if he is the one behind this whole matter?"

"He's about the only one we can totally trust. At least I sure hope so. However, I think as a safety precaution we should contact Atlantis first and fill Woolsey in on our progress. If you want to go back to Atlantis just say the word."

"No, I will stay here with you and see this through."

John smiled at her. "You do realise that if we capture these criminals it could lead us to the truth about Beth."

"I know, John, but it is the right thing to do. Maybe she will turn out to be an orphan as it looks like it was an arranged deal."

"Yeah, I sure hope so."

TBC


	18. Chapter 18

Fragile Lives

Chapter 18

Unobserved from behind a large stone wall, Councillor Morina Delmoi of the lost people of Nantis watched as the detestable Atlanteans left the underground prison area. She flipped her long, dark hair away from her face and cursed Kelore for having called them in to investigate. Her mentor and dear friend would not be pleased. However there was nothing she could do about it at the present time but she had every intention of putting things right later.

Turning to her partner in crime and personal aide, a small blond haired man by the name Renton Dorac, Morina murmured. "We need to get rid of the prisoner before he talks too much.

"Is it not too late for that, Morina? I believe the man will have already told them plenty. Now we need to insure that no connection can be made to us, so would it not be wiser to eliminate Sheppard and the woman?"

Morina sighed heavily at his suggestion. "And bring the whole of Atlantis down on our heads, I think not. You are very foolish, Renton, did you not observe that the big Satedan entered the prison with them?" Her aide scowled and reluctantly nodded. Morina didn't seem to notice his reaction or she didn't care as she continued. "As he has not left yet that probably means he is guarding the prisoner. While I am sure Shiana would like nothing better if we were to eliminate all three of them, I am pretty sure that would be a very difficult task at the present time. I hear the Satedan is a formidable warrior and do not underestimate the abilities of the other two. It is a great pity that our plan to infect Sheppard and his team did not succeed, although from what I heard, Sheppard came very close to death. Now we can only hope that Ehram and Deelan can complete the task for us as I am sure the prisoner will have informed the Atlanteans of their involvement and they will no doubt want to arrest them. We must inform Ehram as quickly as possible so that he can gather as many mercenaries as he can find to help slaughter Sheppard and his people."

Renton looked doubtful. "You are assuming that they will be the ones to arrest the brothers. What if the Council decides to send others to complete the task?"

Morina laughed, making her sound like a demented chicken. Thankfully it was short lived when she realised the Satedan might just overhear her even though the prison area was underground. "How little you understand the mind set of Sheppard and, that oh so righteous, Athosian bitch. Believe me they will wish to do the task as it is in their nature. And we know how heavily the Coalition relies on Atlantis these days." If she had been less ladylike she would have spit on those words. Like Shiana, Morina hated Atlantis and its treacherous, interfering ways but her wrath was mainly aimed at a certain arrogant colonel and his Athosian companion. She blamed them both personally for the loss of her family when the Replicators had attacked Nantis directly after their attack on Santhal, which had been Shiana's homeworld.

"I still say we should kill Sheppard and Emmagan while we have the chance." Renton whispered.

Morina shook her head. "I would like nothing more than to slit their throats from ear to ear but that would only arouse suspicion when their bodies are found. My connection to Shiana is too well known. As you know I have kept a very low profile while she is indisposed serving her sentence for her attempt on Sheppard's life. It was such a great pity that failed too. And planning further campaigns will be especially hard if our source of income is curtailed should they actually manage to arrest Ehram and Deelan."

It was Renton's turn to laugh. "I would like to see them try."

oOo

"That is a very serious accusation, Colonel Sheppard. If Aldern's statement is true then it must be investigated immediately. I shudder to think that some council member could stoop so low as to engage in child trafficking. It is alarming indeed. I can also see how Aldern's life could be in danger. I think it would be for the best if we hand him over to your custody for the foreseeable future."

John nodded. "A wise decision Councillor. We'll hold him on Atlantis until the whereabouts of these traffickers can be established. Maybe Aldern can help us set up a trap for them, although unfortunately his arrest may already be common knowledge. If that's the case, if he were to turn up a free man it would seem highly suspicious to the brothers."

Kelore nodded. "Yes, it would. I will ask my most loyal inner circle to keep an eye out for any suspicious behaviour or unnecessary communications regarding other council members or their aides."

"I would prefer it if the investigation wasn't too obvious and maybe all off-world communication should be monitored from now on."

Kelore sighed. "Unfortunately that would be difficult as part of the Coalition treaty states that all communication between councillors and their home worlds should be kept strictly private. You have to understand that some issues can be of a very sensitive nature."

John chewed his lip and glanced at Teyla. She knew he hated this kind of thing. Politics and diplomacy just weren't his thing at all, so she used her charm to persuade the councillor. "Surely for such a grievous crime an exception could be made."

Kelore answered with a sad look. "I am afraid not. That would undermine the trust we have in our members."

John pondered for a minute. "Yeah, back on Earth we have something called diplomatic immunity for ambassadors serving in foreign lands. I guess your treaty, contract or whatever is similar to that, which means the only thing I can suggest is to break the communications array for a while and tell the councillors there's no outside contact available until it's fixed."

"I hope you do not literally mean that we should break it, Colonel? Your people have only just installed the new and much improved array for us."

"No, all you need to do is just removed the control crystal for a while. If anyone asks, say it was burnt out and a new one is proving difficult to locate. It does happen from time to time so it should sound plausible."

Kelore nodded. "Very well, I suppose that could convince, what will no doubt be some very dissatisfied and grumbling councillors."

"Just how many members are currently residing here at Coalition headquarters, Councillor?" Teyla asked politely.

"There is a special meeting to be held in a day's time regarding the last Wraith attack on the non-member planet of Xewei. The survivors have applied to join the Coalition for support and extra protection. Therefore we have thirty five councillors and their staff currently residing, so roughly speaking about seventy people."

"That many." John vaguely recalled Woolsey saying something about that but as far as John was concerned it was Woolsey's business as it didn't concern the military, meaning he'd kind of pushed it aside. He recalled that the Wraith had culled Xewei while he'd been laid up. Thankfully due to the planet's extensive cave system many had survived and now they wanted to join the Coalition. John wasn't so sure what extra protection that would give them other than a place to flee if the Wraith should attack again. "Is there anyone you can think of that may still hold a grudge against us? I mean we know Shiana is behind bars but she could have a supporter or two among the ranks."

Kelore shook his head. "Shiana was a loner, although she did have a few associates that she met with from time to time. As far as I know none of them supported her campaign against you or Atlantis. You have to remember that the Coalition has grown somewhat since your team were brought before us. I believe all the new members wholeheartedly welcome the participation of Atlantis. Indeed, many were truly upset when we heard you had been taken so very ill, Colonel."

John was surprised to hear about that. "Really? That's nice to know."

"Indeed, so it is most disturbing to learn that someone in the Coalition does not feel the same way, even if it is only an individual. As I said before, the matter must be investigated and Aldern handed over to you for his own sake. Not that I feel any empathy towards the man." Both Teyla and Sheppard agreed wholeheartedly with that sentiment.

A short time later they rejoined Ronon in Aldern's cell. "Okay we're out of here." John announced.

Lenric leapt to his feet and quickly moved to stand in front of Sheppard. Ronon's blaster whined and ended up under the man's chin but it didn't deter the stocky, little man. "What about me? You can't just leave me here alone," he pleaded.

John stared down at him. "You know I've got a good mind to leave you here but as I said before if you co-operate and help us arrest the traffickers then things will go a lot better for you."

The man nodded enthusiastically making his greasy, mousy grey hair flip over his forehead. He swept it back with an equally grubby hand. "I'll help."

"Right then." John answered. He turned to Ronon. "Is that on stun?" He indicated the blaster still pointed more or else at the prisoner chest. Ronon gave a slight nod as a silent message passed between the two men. A flash of red and the prisoner crumpled to the floor. "Guards! You can remove the prisoner as planned and get him to the morgue."

Ronon shot him a questioning look. "Where're we taking him?"

"Atlantis." John murmured as two guards dragged the prisoner out. None too gently he noted but John didn't move to correct them. The plan was to make it look like the prisoner had died during his interrogation so that anyone watching would be none the wiser. Councillor Kelore had already spread the rumour around that the man had committed suicide using a poison implant in his tooth. Not exactly a fools proof plan but better than just marching the prisoner out in plain sight.

Upon leaving the prison building the guards dumped the unconscious man on a rather crude looking trolley and covered it with a sheet. Without hesitation they pushed the body toward a small, rough stone building that apparently served as a temporary morgue. After dumping Aldern inside, the guards quickly left the building.

Luckily the morgue was located not far from the area where Sheppard had left their puddle jumper. The building also had a small rear door, which was much closer to the parked jumper. Now came the tricky part of getting Aldern inside the Ancient vessel without raising too much suspicion

After consulting with Councillor Kelore outside the morgue and in full view of anyone watching, Sheppard led his team away toward the back of building with the intention of leaving. They arrived at the jumper shortly after and casually entered. A moment later two more marines joined them and in all intents and purposes they looked like Atlantis personnel when in actual fact one was a rather groggy, barely conscious Aldern and the other a coalition guard. They wore some of the team's spare clothing. Although on close inspection Aldern looked like a badly dressed mannequin in John's overly long pants and black shirt. Hopefully no one had done a head count or had possession of a pair of binoculars.

The minute the guard had Aldern settled on a rear bench, John lifted the Jumper into the air. So far so good and before long, they had reached the Stargate and were heading home.

oOo

Are you sure you want to do this, Colonel?" Woolsey asked him a few hours later during an emergency meeting in his office.

"Yeah, the quicker we act the better. Don't want to let those criminals slip through our fingers. And hopefully their arrest will lead us to the corrupt councillor."

Teyla glanced at John. "I agree with John, we must act swiftly."

"Very well take whatever equipment and personnel you need."

John stood up. "I've already asked Major Lorne to back us up and we'll need at least four jumpers in the air. Aldern is currently sitting in our holding cell but has agreed to lead us to the trader on Cordon." He turned to Teyla. "Sorry, but I'm going to ask you to sit this one out."

Teyla's expression said it all. "John, I need to be there."

John inwardly cringed but he didn't show it. He would stand firm on this. "No, you don't. Don't forget you're not on my team anymore and the kids have been without your company for too long already. So please stay on Atlantis and let us handle the traffickers."

Woolsey stepped in before things could turn nasty. "I agree you should remain here. As the Colonel pointed out you are no longer a member of his team and therefore…."

"That does not mean I am incapable of carrying out a mission anymore."

John sighed and rubbed his forehead. "No it doesn't but…," he paused for a second. "Let's take this somewhere private for a minute, shall we?" Teyla nodded and John followed her out of the conference room as she led them to the nearest balcony. The whole matter was reminiscent of the time she'd been pregnant. He knew at the time he hadn't handled that situation very well. He only hoped he fared better this time.

The wind whipped around the columns and Teyla suddenly realised just how cold it was outside. Well it would be seeing as it was ready late into the evening. She hadn't been to see the children yet but Amiera had assured her that they were fine. Before John could say anything, she said. "I just want to bring these awful people to justice. I cannot bear to think of other children being taken away from their homes and their families to be given to strangers."

John moved closer and wrapped his arms around her. It warmed and reassured her. "I know you do but it could be a combat situation and…," He held up his hand quickly as she opened her mouth to protest. "Look, I know you're perfectly capable but just hear me out for a minute. If you come along on this mission and the IOA finds out, then our relationship could be toast. I know you were with me to question the prisoner, however the official report will state that you where there to assist in a diplomatic capacity. Nothing more, nothing less."

Teyla knew what he said made sense but she still didn't like it. For the first time she began to wonder if she had made a mistake by leaving his team, even if it meant they couldn't be together as a couple. She rested her head against his chest and felt his love and deep concern for her. Memories of their wonderful time together left her feeling warm inside and she knew she could never give that up. She was being stubborn and foolish but in truth she was afraid to see him go offworld and fight. It would be the first time since his illness. Yet she knew she had to let him go. To wrap him in a cocoon and protect him would kill him quicker than any illness or bullet ever could. He was a man of action. A free spirit. He could never stand by and allow injustice to prevail. She just had to pray that the Ancestors would keep him safe.

Eventually, she nodded and raised her head to look into his eyes. "You are right I will stay with the children as they have seen very little of us these last few days. I will no doubt worry very much, so please be careful out there."

John smiled and lowered his lips to gently kiss her. "I promise. I have too much to live for."

TBC

 **Thanks for your continuing interest and reviews. Shiana's plan to kill John is covered in my story, 'Don't Pay the Ferryman', if your interested and haven't read it already.**


	19. Chapter 19

Fragile Lives

Chapter 19

A deep scowl crossed Delmoi's face sending daggers at the man before her. "What do you mean I cannot contact my associates?!This is absolutely outrageous! I will be taking the matter up with Councillor Kelore immediately, then we will see who still has his job by the time I am finished."

Communications controller Zarcasi sighed deeply. The dreadful woman was getting on his nerves. She wasn't unattractive to look at but that didn't excuse her appalling bad manners. The young controller knew his job wasn't in any danger because the order to disconnect the communications array had come directly from Kelore himself, no more than fifteen minutes earlier.

Thankfully, Zarcasi knew something about the technical aspects of the array as Doctor McKay had kindly shown him. Although at the time the scientist had been somewhat reluctant until Colonel Sheppard had insisted. For which Zarcasi was truly grateful because now he had the knowledge to quickly remove the fully functioning control crystal and replaced it with an old broken one that Doctor McKay had discarded weeks ago. Zarcasi had kept the crystal because despite being useless, he had found it fascinating. Now it proved to be a lucky decision indeed. The crystal swap had been completed with only a few minutes to spare before the awful councillor had shown up to use the array. Zarcasi had no idea why Councillor Kelore had made the request to disconnect the unit but he knew for sure the man had a very good reason to do so.

Morina Delmoi continued to be absolutely rude and intolerable, so Zarcasi removed the broken, dull looking white crystal from its slot within the control panel. He held it before her face hoping to convince the woman. "This is the broken part and I can assure you Atlantis is fully aware of the problem. A replacement is proving difficult to find at the moment and unfortunately Doctor McKay, who is in charge of the installation, is currently away…."

"Atlantis! Why it is always about them! Why must we rely so heavily on them? If I had my way we would break all ties with those wrong doers." Morina stormed towards the door. "I will take this matter up with Kelore at the earliest opportunity!" she shouted. However, she had every intention of making a quick trip through the Stargate first.

Once she was gone, the controller contacted Councillor Kelore and reported the incident as he had been instructed to do.

oOo

"Okay, Lenric. I want you to approach the contact's store just like you would any other time." John instructed the informant from their vantage point hidden behind a large, black stone statue of some old dude with a long shaggy beard. The effigy was heavily stained with bird droppings but it stood nearly opposition the contact's store. John kept his hands well away from the stone, as he continued. "So act perfectly normal and don't forget we will be watching your every move. Any sign that you're not playing the game or trying to escape, we will be on you like a ton of bricks and I won't hesitate in sending you straight back to Basara to face their form of justice. And we know very well how that would probably go." John finished with a grin and throat cutting gesture.

Lenric cringed and swallowed hard, he had no doubt the tough colonel meant every word he said. "Believe me I have no desire to face their justice. I will go now." John nodded and watched as the child trafficker hastily made his way over the contact's store.

This was John's first visit to the renowned market of Cordon. In fact, he had never been to the planet before either. Teyla, who knew the market very well, had reassured him that the people were fair and friendly. From what John could see, the market seemed very similar to any other, with one exception as it appeared to sell a larger variety of exotic animals and meat products. At least more than most Pegasus markets usually did. He could see colourful snakes and lizards slithering around in clear glass containers, chicken like birds pecking around near their owner's stores, oblivious of their no doubt more than dismal future. There were primates of all kinds, shell fish and any number of weird and bizarre creatures. It kind of reminded him of a market he'd once visited in Thailand. It even smelt as bad as that one had. John was only grateful that McKay was still on his honeymoon otherwise he would never have shut up about it. Ronon took it all in his stride, ever observant as he watched Lenric's every move, avidly.

The contact appeared to sell exactly the items that Lenric had mentioned as her store displayed a large collection of handcrafted ceramics and necklaces. John instructed Ronon to remain where he was for now as he decided to wander over and take a look at her items. He had anticipated such a move and had forgone his usual black gear and TAC vest in favour of a worn pair of blue jeans and hip length blue shirt that concealed the Colt in his waistband, even though he wore it casually open. Under the shirt he wore a light grey t-shirt and around his neck a small beaded surfer necklace in blues and beige with a matching armband on his right wrist. Together with his unshaven appearance it made him look nothing like a military leader. However that was his intention. His P90 remained back in the Jumper ready for his use once he changed back into military mode.

Lenric appeared to be having a quiet word with the female store owner as John approached. She looked up the minute he arrived, giving him a very warm and friendly smile. "Can I help you?"

"Just looking for something special for my girl."

"There are some nice necklaces or maybe a pretty bracelet." She pointed to the items on display. "Maybe you will also find something for yourself but just give me a moment and I will help you after I have dealt with this…customer." John got the impression she wasn't too pleased to be dealing with Lenric, leaving John to wonder why. However, he feigned indifference and began to browse through the jewellery.

While he perused the merchandise, John couldn't help overhearing their conversation but that was his intention. "You will find the Lanbars currently located on a planet called Rigel. He and his brother are working out of an old building a short walk away from the Ancestral Ring." She appeared to quickly draw something on a slip of paper and then hand it to Lenric. John guessed it was the exact location. "At least they were some days ago when I picked up some jewellery from them, which turned out to be of fairly poor quality I might add. You could mention that to them when you see them. Tell them they need to supply better quality or I will cease trading with them." Lenic gave her a look that almost bordered on contempt but he nodded. The trader seemed satisfied probably thinking his dislike was directed at the Lanbars and not her. "So you should find them there as I have not heard anything differently. Now if you are uninterested in buying anything once again, I will bid you goodbye so I may serve this gentleman." _So never actually buying anything was probably the reason she disliked him so much,_ John thought.

Lenric didn't move. In fact, he seemed a little agitated. "So you have not heard anything regarding their…er...mood towards me?"

"I don't know what you are talking about. Have you done something to upset them again?"

Lenric threw a quick glance in John's direction. "No, not really but they can get a little upset if I fail to deliver the required goods on time. Unfortunately I got delayed on my last assignment."

Now the woman looked a little concerned. "What were you dealing with that was so important?"

"A case of Baskan wine, which I accidently let fall from my wagon. I had to replace it. That took time. I mean, it took far too long to find the same quantity and vintage, hence the delay in getting it to them."

The store keeper nodded. "Well as I said they will probably still be on Rigel, so you had better get there before they change their location again. I do not know why they keep doing that unless they are hiding something from us."

"I would assume it's better for trading in different regions." Lenric said no more. Then he quickly left.

John didn't watch him walk away because he knew Ronon would be there to rein him in, should he try to give them the slip. The store keeper who was probably around John's age moved over to him. She had shoulder length fair hair and a pleasant face, not exactly a raving beauty but not unattractive either. She gave him another warm smile. "That's a fine necklace you are wearing. I admire a man who does not feel ashamed to wear something considered feminine."

John didn't know what to say to that. It was just a thing he occasionally wore while surfing and certainly never in front of his men. He shrugged his shoulders. "It doesn't make one less of a man."

"Indeed it does not. However some would consider it so. On some men it would not look good, but on you…," she winked.

John just smiled back. Clearly she was flirting with him despite the fact he had hinted at a girlfriend. He didn't really mind. It was flattering to know he still had it despite his forty one years. It was harmless fun but he didn't flirt back knowing Teyla was waiting for him back on Atlantis. He had already spotted a suitable gift for her, a leather banded necklace and pendant. It reminded him a little of the necklace he had found on Athos all those years ago. The one she had lost in her youth and he had accidently activate, which ultimately alerted the Wraith every time she wore it offworld.

Wanting to hurry things along, he pointed to the necklace. "How much do you want for that?"

"Oh that is a very good choice. The medallion is quite old. It was incorporated into the necklace by the monks of Dalenia. I know the medallion is carved from the finest Mendine and set in Solben. The band is soft Goad leather. I will take fifty Ducas and no less."

John had no idea what any of those things were but the stone was a lovely shade of deep blue and the metal looked like silver. He knew the monks of Dalenia well enough having had dealings with them some years back after McKay had inadvertently touched their precious shrine. John had stepped in and taken the punishment for him. It had been a very painful experience that had nearly cost him his life. No matter the history he liked the look of the necklace. Only one problem stood in the way of buying it, he only had thirty five Ducas on him. It was the universal trading currency used in many markets. As he hadn't really expected to buy anything, he had no choice but to start bartering with her despite the fact she had ready stated that she would take no less. "I'll give you thirty as I think that's all it's worth."

"Why you insult me, handsome. It is worth every Ducas I asked for and as I said I will take nothing less."

Oh boy she was going to drive a hard bargain and John really didn't have the time or the money to back it up. Unfortunately, his stubborn streak came through as he now really wanted the necklace for Teyla. "I happen to think it is worth no more than thirty but I'll give you thirty five." She looked shocked and John winced as he knew she wanted more. Well, he had no more Ducas but he did have something more he could offer. "Okay, thirty five plus my necklace."

She shook her head but looked more interested. "The necklace and the armband."

John reached behind and unfastened the simple necklace before removing the armband. He handed over the jewellery and money. "Here, now could you wrap the gift up in something."

"Your lady is a very lucky woman, so why not wear it yourself and present it to her the next time you undress for her."

John nearly sputtered at that but decided to go along with it as he really didn't have any more time to waste. "Yeah, not a bad idea." He took the necklace and fastened the simply leather band around his neck.

She nodded her approval. "It looks good on you. Maybe your lady will allow you to wear it from time to time."

"Yeah maybe," Although John had no intention of even suggesting that to Teyla. "Thanks." The woman winked at him again and murmured something that sounded like anytime darling. John flashed a smile before quickly heading over to the spot he had last seen Ronon and hopefully Lenric.

He found them not far off. Lenric gave him a dirty look, probably because he didn't like the fact that John had come over to keep an eye on him. John ignored him and held out his hand. "Hand over the paper she gave you." Lenric did so without question and John studied it for a minute or two. He didn't know much about Rigel, having never been there either but the woman had drawn a rough map of the location and the gate address. He grabbed Lenric's upper arm. "Come on we have a date with the Lanbar boys."

Lenric said nothing as he was reluctantly pulled in the direction of their puddle Jumper, which was cloaked and waiting for them in a field just beyond the town.

Once back in the Jumper, John instructed Lenric to sit on the bench between two of the accompanying marines and to keep quiet. He quickly went up front to change into his military garb and TAC vest. Removing the necklace, he dangled it over his hand for a moment admiring its beauty.

Ronon moved closer to take a look. "I like that. You could wear it with your surfer beads."

"Haven't got them anymore. Had to trade them in for this one. And before you ask it's for Teyla."

"Okay. It would look good on you though."

John rolled his eyes and said nothing. He popped the necklace into the top right-hand pocket of his TAC vest for safe keeping before replacing his dog tags, which he'd taken off earlier. Sitting in the pilot seat, he slipped on his boots and then he hit the communications array to call up Major Lorne who was in the second jumper located near the Stargate about two miles away. "Major, we have the information we need. They're on Rigel. We're heading back to the gate now. Inform the other jumpers and follow us through. Go immediate to cloak once we arrive."

"Understood Colonel."

John turned to face his people and told everyone to take up their places. Ronon nodded and moved to sit opposite Lenric as his mistrust still ran very deep and he wasn't about to let the man out of his sight. John didn't say anything as he knew that was his friend's nature and he would never change, no matter what. A young man quietly slipped into the co-pilot seat and John exchanged a quick smile with him. He was a new recruit by the name of Lieutenant James Becket, spelt with only one T and no relationship to their beloved Carson, but also a Brit. And much to Carson's delight, he also stemmed from bonny Scotland. The young Royal Air Force pilot was a natural ATA gene carrier making him a perfect candidate for puddle jumper piloting. John intended to eventually give him his own team to lead after he'd proven his capabilities.

Quickly running pre-flight, John eased the Jumper into the air. "Okay everyone let's go get those bastards."

TBC

 **The necklace reference was a little inspired by Joe Flanigan's love of surfer beads and the like. My story concerning John's dealings with the monks of Dalenia can be found in 'For Love of a Friend'. Hope you enjoy this chapter and thanks again for the feedback.**


	20. Chapter 20

**Fragile Lives**

Chapter 20

"Renton, move a little quicker! If you do not I will leave you behind as it's imperative that I contact Ehram as quickly as possible." Morina chastised her reluctant companion.

"Yes, yes," the aide muttered. "So you've told me a million times already."

The two of them had left the Stargate behind several minutes ago and were making their way along the small trail that lead to the trafficker's new hideout. Although Morina considered their progress far too slow, the trek would still probably only take them about twenty minutes to complete. It would have been even quicker if the path hadn't been so overgrown with weeds and branches, which Renton grumbled and cursed about nearly every step of the way. The difficult path wasn't the only thing he cursed as he really didn't want to be dragged anywhere near the notorious brothers. However, Morina had insisted that he accompany her.

He swore yet again when he nearly stumbled over a hidden pothole. When he managed to right himself and catch his breath, he growled. "I always thought Ehram and his people were perfectly capable of fighting off any law enforcement agents or Atlantis do-gooders without being pre-warned."

"I may have overestimated their numbers to you in the past. Although they are very good fighters and completely ruthless, in order for them to succeed they need to be well prepared to fight off the Atlantis forces. Unfortunately, due to that very untimely fault in the communications array I was unable to contact them as I intended. I am sure Sheppard was somehow responsible for that too."

Morina had also mentioned that fact several times and Renton was getting a little sick of hearing it. "If that were the case how come we were able leave through the Stargate without being challenged?"

The conniving woman flashed a sickly grin. Renton didn't witness it because he was following quite a few paces behind her. "They would not have dared," she told him. "Freedom to travel has always been a right for all Coalition members. Besides the guard on duty just happened to be one of my…well let us just say…night companions."

Renton nearly erupted with a sudden streak of anger. It made him want to push the arrogant woman flat on her nose. He was under the illusion that Morina favoured only him. Now it seemed he was wrong and as such he intended to break-off their relationship as soon as Sheppard and his people had been dealt with. He never really liked her all that much anyway, so now he had a very good reason for dumping her. He got his anger under control and continued to follow but not before giving her an evil eyed look, which she couldn't see of course.

Fifteen minutes later they were met by a rather aggressive and over cautious guard. The man nearly saved Renton the trouble of dumping Morina when a bullet missed her back by mere inches when she refused to stop upon command.

Morina turned and marched right up to the hapless guard. "How dare you fire at me! Ehram will hear about this and he will have your hide for supper!"

The guard didn't seem all that fussed by her words. He just moved closer and laughed in her face showing a mouth full of heavily stained teeth. "I don't care lady, I told you to stop and you didn't. Now who are you and what do you want with him?"

Morina let out a long suffering sigh. "Ehram knows me very well. I am Morina Delmoi and I must speak with him immediately. It is a matter of utmost importance."

The guard continued to look down his nose at her, not at all impressed. "Never heard of you and I don't care how important it is, Ehram doesn't like to be disturb when he's conducting business."

"Oh for goodness sake let us pass. I will personally deal with any tantrum Ehram might throw."

The guard's loud belly, roaring laugh made Morina take a step back. "Oh my, you must really know Ehram very well to make that type of comment."

"I can assure you not that well. I would rather bed John Sheppard than him."

Renton winced at her stupid comment as it had put the guard back on full alert. "Why did you mention that piece of Atlantis scum?"

Morina realised her mistake and tried to rectify it. "I was only talking from a woman's point of view at finding attractiveness in a man. Ehram has the temper and looks of the fabled two headed Gondar. In other words he is just plain ugly. Now that scum Sheppard is from appearances a very attractive man indeed. Pity his actions are so distasteful, otherwise I would have made a move on him by now."

The guard sniggered and even though he had never had any dealings with Sheppard, he had to agree with her about Ehram. "You got that right, he is darn ugly." Now convinced that the woman did know his boss well enough, he said. "Okay you can pass but you deal with the boss when he throws one of his tantrums."

"Do not worry, I will." Morina assured him as she began to move away.

A short while later they found Ehram in a dingy little office arguing with his skinny, greasy haired younger brother Deelan. Of the two brothers, Deelan was slightly more attractive but not by much. Behind him stood a teenage boy with a scowl on his already hard looking face. _No innocence left in him._

Morina had no idea what the fight was about but she was sure it had something to do with the kid. When neither of the brothers noticed her, she shouted over their din. "Will you two stop for a minute and listen to what I have to say!"

Deelan turned to face her with a scowl and Ehram finally looked up from his place behind his shabby old desk. "What the hell are you doing here?" he asked with a great deal of scorn that matched his brother's reaction.

Sensing Ehram's mood, Renton quickly took a step back to land with a thump against the doorframe while Morina marched right up to the desk to confront the ugly trafficker. "Get your sorry ass out of that chair and gather your men because you are about to get a visit from Atlantis."

Slumping back in his chair, Ehram let out a belly roaring laugh. It certainly wasn't music to her ears and Morina almost felt like covering them with both hands. Ehram eventually calmed down. The chair creaked loudly under his weight as he leant forward. "Tell me something I don't already know."

"What? You knew about it?"

"Do you think I would reply on you for all my information? Ever since Lenric was taken I've had him watched. My informant knew that Atlantis had questioned him so it didn't take too much brain power to know that the little traitor would eventually talk. Luckily, it seems the little bastard died under interrogation."

"He committed suicide apparently." Morina clarified.

"Really? Who would have thought that? I find that hard to believe but maybe he was scared of my wrath." The overweight boss slumped back causing the chair to protest loudly again. Morina wondered how long it would be before the whole thing collapsed beneath him. It didn't seem to worry the fat slob, as he babbled on. "Anyway no matter, he's certainly no great loss. We were just arguing over who would be the one to slit Sheppard's throat. The kid here wants the chance but Deelan thinks he hasn't the guts to do it."

The boy quickly spoke up. "I can! I will revenge the loss of my father!"

"Yes, Marco and you will get your chance."

Morina sighed to herself over Ehram's overconfidence arrogance. "You have to capture Sheppard first. That's assuming he's even amongst the strike team. If you knew they were coming, would it not have been wiser to have moved locations?"

"And miss the opportunity to take Sheppard out. Not likely Morina. The reward Shiana posted still stands, you said so yourself. So I expect to be paid handsomely when the deed is done. And I'm pretty sure Sheppard will be coming with the taskforce."

Morina swallowed hard. She had lied about Shiana's reward still standing but she was pretty confident that once the imprisoned councillor leant of Sheppard's demise she would be only too willing to reward the perpetrator. Although, Morina had no idea how much wealth Shiana truly owned. One thing for sure, she certainly didn't need any money being held in prison for countless years. Also technically if the boy killed Sheppard then the reward money should be his but she decided not the mention that. "I hope you are right, Ehram, because it is time this galaxy was finally rid of that murdering scum and his followers."

Ehram looked up at her with something approaching disdain. "He never murdered your people personally, did he?"

"No, but he lead the Replicators to our worlds."

"Yes, well…that aside, my only interest is stopping him and his people from ruining our very lucrative business. At least our plan will go better than your stupid one. Relying on an illness to kill Sheppard and maybe some of the others was extremely hit and miss at best. And it missed terribly, didn't it. So luring him and his people here to put an end to our nice little child trafficking racket is a far better idea."

Morina couldn't believe what she was hearing. "And what if you have underestimated their abilities? I know for a fact they are a formidable force having taken on the Wraith and won. And do you think for a minute they wouldn't send in more forces to stop you, if you somehow manage to eliminate Sheppard and his men this time around?"

"By then my dear Morina we will be far away from here. Then after a cooling off period we can start up our business all over again with the reward money Shiana will be providing us. But have no fear there are over fifty heavily armed men just waiting out there for the opportunity to kill a few Atlantis people."

Throughout their conversation Renton had remained very quiet indeed, unobtrusively standing near the exit and deep in thought. He had a bad feeling things weren't going to be that simple. Ehram and his men were greatly underestimating the Atlantis forces as he was sure Sheppard would bring in plenty of back-up. As such Renton felt his life was in danger. He really didn't care about Morina anymore, so at the earliest opportunity he intended to slip away and head back to the Stargate. And hopefully manage to avoid meeting any of Sheppard's people along the way.

TBC

 **Bit of a shorter chapter this time around. Sheppard will be back next time, I promise.**


	21. Chapter 21

Fragile lives

Chapter 21

They emerged through the Stargate into a sunny and wooded landscape that seemed too quiet and idyllic to be true. Off in the distance snow capped mountains added to the peaceful scene, giving it a picture postcard quality just like an advert for an ideal vacation spot. It all kind of reminded John of the Rocky Mountains of Colorado or even the Alps of Switzerland.

"They're definitely expecting us." Ronon observed as he moved up front to gaze out of the view screen.

John immediately engaged the cloak and called up the HUD, looking for life signs. "Yep, had a feeling they might be and the warning Atlantis sent us just before leaving Cordon kind of confirms it. At least we now know the true identity of the Coalition collaborators. With a bit of luck we can nab Morina and Renton too. Stupid woman," he murmured under his breath.

It shouldn't have surprised him really. Morina Delmoi had always steered clear of him wishing to have little or nothing to do with Atlantis. He hadn't taken it personally but the few times he'd caught her looking at him, the old saying definitely applied, _if looks could kill_. Well, he was very much alive and he intended to remind that way because his family were waiting for him back home. _Family,_ now that was a very pleasant thought indeed, it brought a smile to his lips just as several life signs began to appear on the display. They were widely spread as if the brothers had planned an ambush, and that was probably exactly what they had done.

John opened his radio to the other jumpers. "As you can see it looks like things are pretty much as we anticipated. Meaning we go in as planned. I count forty five spread around, plus seven located in the only building for miles around. I guess that's where they're holed up. So we outflank them, take them out and try to leave at least one of the brothers alive. Don't forget we're dealing with a group of child nabbing scum. Be on high alert at all times as I don't want any casualties on our side." A chorus of, yes sirs, sounded in his ear as John began the manoeuvre that would take his team right into the heart of the camp. His trust in the other four teams went without question; he knew they would get the job done and protect their backs.

As John concentrated on finding a suitable landing area, he spoke to Ronon. "Go back and secure Lenic, he's staying onboard for now."

"You planning on leaving him alone?"

"Yep, so secure him good and proper. Not like the time you secured me during the Kirsan fever business."

Ronon looked offended even though John couldn't see. "I did secure you good, weren't my fault you knew how to get out of ropes like that."

John didn't get the chance to reply as he spotted a suitable landing area, which unfortunately was further away from the building than he really wanted to be. Ronon said no more and, as the Jumper started to descend, he went back to see to Lenic. He was going to make darn sure the criminal was well and truly tied up.

oOo

Morina sighed heavily, she hadn't intended to get caught up in the fighting but Sheppard and his people had arrived quicker than anticipated leaving her unable to return to the Stargate immediately. She knew darn well that the stupid brothers had underestimated the Atlantean firepower. Now proven to be correct because reports of heavy fighting and casualties were coming in and it looked like they were being outflanked. Glancing behind her it seemed her cowardly aide had already left as there was no sign of him in the main room. She sighed heavily again as now it would be up to her alone to finish the job that no one seemed capable of doing. Bidding her time, she waited patiently for the right opportunity to slip away without being noticed by either Ehram or the others.

Eventually, Morina managed to leave when the brother's were arguing over whether or not to retreat . Even though the worst of the gunfire had yet to reach their hideout, she knew it was only a matter of time before the place was surrounded. She every intention of killing Sheppard before that transpired, so Morina moved out to set an ambush for him. Leaving the main building behind, she carefully manoeuvred to the ruin of an old stone outhouse. Disappointed as it seemed the building was useless for an ambush as the walls were crumbled nearly to the ground. Beyond the ruin, the land was covered in waist high bushes and the remains of trees. Not the best terrain for a stakeout, yet it would have to do as Morina was pretty sure the Atlantean forces weren't far beyond that area.

She looked around for a suitable spot to lay the trap and spotted a large group of bushes not far off. Quickly moving over to them and taking cover, Morina looked around and was dismayed to find Renton already hiding under the thickest bush with a bullet wound in his gut. She had no idea how he had managed to get shot but suspected it may have been one of Ehram's guards and not the Atlanteans. She quickly reached down and held a finger to his neck. It appeared he wasn't dead yet but seemingly unconscious, which suited Morina just fine. Hopefully he would stay that way and then she would deal with him once she had dealt with Sheppard. Although she knew for certain that she stood little or no chance against the rest of the Atlantean forces, Morina had every intention of killing the man she saw as the root of all her losses before being captured or possibly killed.

oOo

Leaving the cover of the last sturdy tree trunk, John signalled for the young lieutenant to spread out and approach their target from a different angle. The terrain beyond the protection of the big trees appeared to thin out as if it had been cleared of larger ones. Not that recently by the looks of things because a small number of young trees and bushes grew amongst the plant and fungi covered, tree stumps.

Off in the distance, John could just make out the silhouette a simple stone building. That wasn't his target at the moment because not far off and to the right of his position, Ronon and several Marines had been pinned down by a small group of traffickers. So with the Lieutenant's help, Sheppard intended to circle around and take them out in crossfire before making an assault on the main building. He scanned ahead and sighed, in order to get into the right position to help Ronon he really needed to cross the open, sparsely grown land. A choice John didn't feel comfortable with because the area afford very little in the way of cover. But if he wanted to take out those criminals then he had no choice. Taking a deep breath, he firmly held his P-90 before him and cautiously began to move in the right direction. Keeping a darn good lookout for the slightest movement or sound.

It seemed to be Morina's lucky day as very little time passed before the man she hated above all others wandered into her sights. Sheppard was holding a position not far from her shelter and it looked like he was about to advance further toward the encampment. At least she thought so, but why was he all alone? Surely he had come with guns blazing in a far larger numbers?

No matter she had him now. She held the gun Ehram had given her for self defence and took aim from behind the protection of a large tree stump, rotting and highly fungus covered amid the bushes. Although she had never killed a human in cold blood before, she had no qualms about putting a bullet into the one currently approaching her position. Of course he was being extremely cautious, moving very carefully from cover to cover while trying to present the smallest possible target.

Despite his vigilance, Morina had no doubt she could take him out as her skills as a markswoman had been legendary among her people. As a young girl she had hunted with her uncle and her cousins. The only girl they had ever allowed to do as they considered her equal in skill when she had shot an elusive six legged Bolexx at twenty yards. Of course her relatives were all dead now. Killed when the Replicator ships had fired relentlessly from orbit around her planet, fired until every last human was either dead or dying. Morina had been saved that dreadful fate by the fact she had been near the Ancestral ring, having just returned from an offworld trading trip. When the alarm went up, she and a handful of others had gated to safety even though Morina had felt it wrong at the time. It was only later that she'd learned of the total annihilation of her folk and the realisation that she needed to extract revenge upon those she considered responsible. Naturally, the Replicators had been too powerful and untouchable at the time. It wasn't until a chance meeting with Shiana that the whole truth behind their attack was fully revealed to her - the horrifying fact that Sheppard and his people had purposely activated the Replicators command code thereby ordering them to destroy the Wraith. In turn, the human-like machines had used their logic, turning to the Wraiths' food source and destroying it. Sheppard may not have been directly involved, but his actions and that of his people had indirectly caused the death of her people. Shiana then failed to bring judgement upon Sheppard and his team, and later she had also failed to kill Sheppard using an off-world agent. Now it was up to her to extract the necessary revenge.

Morina sighted down her gun and prepared to fire at the man who was now only about twenty feet away now. She held her gun steady as she wanted to take a head shot to make doubly sure she got him for good.

John's spidey senses suddenly kicked in, big time. It was just a sight warning that someone not far off posed a real threat. John couldn't say what he sensed but intuition made him dropped to the ground just as a bullet whizzed over his head to impact somewhere behind him. He quickly rolled in the mossy undergrowth seeking a safer place to shelter before the gunman could take aim again. Seconds later another bullet hit the ground near his leg and John scrambled to safety behind a small tree stump. It hardly gave him cover and wouldn't have if it wasn't for the slight intent in the ground, which he used to his best advantage in order to protect his upper body.

Several minutes passed by without another shot, so John risked a look over the stump. He raised his P90 and took aim but his assailant was nowhere to be seen. _Damn it_! John knew the approximate location of the gunman and speculated that he was hiding in a bushy area slightly to the right of his current position. However, he couldn't risk exposing himself fully to another round of fire even though it appeared the person only had a single shot weapon and not an automatic or machine gun. Still it was a bit of a standoff. John quickly looked around for alternatives. There didn't seem to be any at all. The area was fairly open and offered very little in the way of cover other than some bushy undergrowth and a few tree stumps even smaller than his. They were the very things that had prevented him from landing where he really wanted to right on top of the encampment, meaning he'd been forced to land half a click away.

John could still hear sporadic gunfire to his right and guessed that to be Ronon and the Marines. They probably weren't aware of his situation as they were still busy taking care of the criminals who were hiding behind a small rocky outcrop on the other side of the clearing. At the present time John had no idea of the lieutenant's position. Hopefully he wasn't lying dead or wounded somewhere nearby.

John accessed the terrain again. Contrary to what he thought it seemed the area had been cleared of some of its undergrowth quite recently, probably to prevent a surprise attack on the nearby building. Despite looking carefully, he still couldn't see any sufficient protection. He really hated these situations where sparse vegetation gave you no real cover at all.

Apart from taking out the brothers before they could escape, Ronon and the Marines still needed his help. That left John with very little choice, either he could risk exposing himself in order to fire a round into the bushes where he believed the assailant to be or wait until the lieutenant eventually arrived, which really wasn't an opinion as it would leave him vulnerable to attack from behind.

There was nothing for it he had to risk shooting back. He took a deep breath and popped up like a jack-in-a-box, firing a round from his P90. He dropped back down seconds before an answering shot hit the tree stump just inches above his head sending a shower of splinters and leaves onto his hair. _Another close one_. John was getting thoroughly pissed off, without a pause he repeated the manoeuvre. Again splinters rained down from the shattered wood. At this rate his shelter would be shot to pieces before he could move to another position or take out the assailant.

Then he heard a cry of pain from the gunman's location. He risked quick glance over the tree stump. It seemed all quiet so he held his gun close and slowly rose to his feet only to feel the impact of a bullet hitting his TAC vest.

TBC


	22. Chapter 22

**Fragile Lives**

Chapter 22

John took a nose dive and waited for the pain to hit, thinking how damn stupid he'd been for believing the cry of pain had come from the marksman. _Yet who else had it been?_ Then as the seconds ticked by he realised that he felt nothing other than a dull ache in his upper chest. He was also breathing pretty hard as if he'd just run a marathon, although that could be from shock or a flood of adrenaline swamping his system. His hands were shaking badly too so that could be it, but surely he should be in agony by now if the bullet had hit his lung. So maybe the bullet had missed somehow, although he knew for sure he'd been hit in the chest otherwise he wouldn't have felt the impact. Getting his shakes under control he began to assess the damage while keeping his ears open for the slightest sound should his assailant try to approach and finish the job. He looked down and noticed that the upper left hand pocket of his vest had been badly torn. Carefully fingering the damage it appeared not to be as bad as he thought because somehow, miraculously, the material beneath seemed to be still intact. John was pretty sure his Blackhawk Omega TAC vest wasn't totally bullet proof but it seems to have stopped the bullet in this case. John was truly thankful for that. He would probably have a nasty bruise for a few days but that was a small price to pay for survival as he was pretty sure the bullet would have torn through his chest otherwise.

Then John remembered that the torn pocket was where he'd put the necklace. He fumbled around for a minute or two, disappointed to find that the necklace was no longer there. _Damn it._ Right now he couldn't afford to sit up to do a proper search as the sniper probably had his sights lined up again. So he glanced down hoping to spot the necklace on the ground and was dismayed to find a large colony of black and red elongated bugs crawling around his body. Some had already ventured onto his legs. The instinct to get up and brush them off was enormous. He hated bugs, especially ones as big and ugly as these were. They looked at little like roaches but with far more legs, like a centipede on steroids. Hopefully they weren't related to the Iratus bug, out to suck him dry.

Somehow, he managed to hold back his desire to move away, knowing that would be very foolish indeed. Suppressing his panic reflex, he flicked a few off with his fingernail. A patch of dry leaves flew into the air when one landed on its back. John instinctively turned at the sound and his attention was caught by something twinkling in the sunlight. He glanced to the spot and there lying beneath another leaf was the missing necklace. Thanking lady fortune or whatever, John carefully avoided the still struggling bug to retrieve the gift. It seemed to be undamaged, so he popped it into another pocket for safe keeping before flicking a few more bugs away from his vest, ones that had ventured far too high towards his neck for his liking.

Schooling himself to forget the bugs, he concentrated of his main problem, the sniper. The last shot had definitely been too close for comfort. If it had hit his head or throat John knew it would have killed him for sure. He let out another shaky breath. Whoever was shooting at him was good. They seemed sure of their skill, not giving away their true position by firing needlessly. John was still pretty sure he had their approximate location, so he was beginning to wonder where the cry had really come from. Now realising that it definitely couldn't have been the gunman. Unless, the wound wasn't as incapacitating as it sounded, which was highly unlikely judging by the volume of the cry.

John sighed and looked behind him wondering where the heck was the lieutenant had gotten to. Hopefully, he wasn't the one who had cried out. John would have contacted him but he had called for radio silence between them while eliminating the opposition so as not to give their positions away. It was a decision he was beginning to regret.

Morina's frustration was getting the better of her. Damn Sheppard and his ability to avoid her shots. Although she was pretty sure that last one had hit home. Even though he hadn't cried out, he had staggered back a little before dropping out of sight and he hadn't moved for a good few minutes now. So was Sheppard dead or just playing possum? Morina had no way of knowing without going to investigate, which was far too dangerous at this point.

Another groan from the undergrowth told her that Renton was still conscious. After his initial loud cry upon waking, he'd been moaning on and off for a good few minutes now. It was most distracting and Morina was pretty sure he was partly to blame for her lack of concentration. She needed to silence him and quickly so she could focus her attention solely on Sheppard. If he wasn't already dead. Without reservation Morina turned to her left and raised her gun. Taking careful aim at the bush where she knew Renton lay helpless and vulnerable, she prepared to kill him even though the man had been a good aide and lover for a number of years now. No doubt she wouldn't have any problems finding another one should she survive to live another day.

Morina went to pull the trigger when a voice quietly commanded. "I wouldn't do that if were you? Now drop your gun, stand-up and turn around with your hands on your head." Morina didn't recognise the voice, it certainly didn't sound like Sheppard. It was probably some moron from Atlantis, whom she had no intention of obeying.

From his crouched position, John heard the voice and breathed a sigh of relief. At least the lieutenant had finally shown up. He risked another peek to assess the situation and got a shock when he caught a glimpse of his assailant. It was none other than Councillor Delmoi. Thankfully she hadn't noticed him yet. John didn't like the fact that she hadn't fully complied with Lieutenant Becket's demand. The last thing he wanted was the young Scot's death on his hands. He let his P90 drop on its strap and carefully drew his Colt before moving as quietly as possible to the side of the tree stump to get a better aim. He ignored the crunching, squishy sounds as his body squashed some bugs.

Lieutenant Becket held his own gun steadily. The damn woman still hadn't dropped her weapon even though she had risen to her feet. "I said drop it!" he repeated.

Morina slowly turned around. "Now, now, I'm sure a nice young man like you would hardly shoot an innocent woman in the back, especially someone who has just escaped from being held captive for hours by some nasty criminals."

"And I don't believe a bloody word of it." Becket said before pointing to the bush behind her. "Is that a criminal you were just about to shoot, Councillor?" The lieutenant had done his homework and knew darn well who the woman was.

Morina snared at him, _not such a moron after all._ She knew she needed to take him out and quickly. Without hesitation she brought her gun up and fired, aiming for the lieutenant's upper body. However, Becket was good judge of body language and had already thrown himself clear to avoid the bullet. A moment later another gun went off and Morina felt pain ripple through her wrist. She looked down in dismay as her gun had literally been shot right out of her grasp. Her hand was a mess, several fingers rested at an awkward angle. Her forefinger was covered in blood where broken bone protruded through. She suddenly felt light-headed with shock but managed to stay on her feet and slowly turn having a good idea who had done this to her. _Sheppard._ She knew his reputation for being an excellent marksman and she'd made the mistake of assuming he was dead or incapacitated.

John brushed a few stubborn bugs off himself as he approached the woman, fury written on his face. "You okay, Lieutenant?" he asked, being more worried about his new recruit than the injured councillor.

"Fine, thank you, sir."

Morina snarled at him and started the scream as the pain and shock hit her. So loud it risked alerting the building's occupants who were probably preparing their defence strategy should the Atlantis forces make it any closer. John had no doubt in his mind that the brothers were holed up in the building he could just make out across the rubble strewn scrubland. John sighed and cringed against the noise as the woman's piercing screech threatened to damage his eardrums. He certainly needed to shut her up and quickly. One nod was all it took and the lieutenant shot her with a Wraith stunner he had brought along just in case. She fell to the ground without another sound.

"That sounded worse than my baby brother trying to play the bagpipes." Becket noted.

"She certainly did." John commented as he approached the fallen woman. He knelt down next to her and looked at her hand. Knowing it needed some attention even though Morina certainly didn't deserve it. He went to pull out his first aid kit only to find it missing from his ruined pocket. "Great. You got your supplies on you, Lieutenant?"

"Yes, sir, and some cuffs to tie her up." Becket fiddled around in his pocket and quickly produced a small med kit. "I think there's someone over in that bush," he said, pointing to the area in question. "Whoever it is, she was just about to shot them."

"Really? Okay, go check it out and be careful as they could be armed and dangerous."

While the lieutenant did as ordered, John bandaged the councillor hand as best he could before using the cuffs to secure her wrists. He uncapped the emergency morphine dose and then thought better of it. She would no doubt be in pain but there could be others in greater need. Instead, he secured her mouth and ankles with duct tape, which thankfully had survived the bullet being in another pocket.

It turned out that the person who might need the morphine was just a few feet away. "Sir, the man she was about to shoot is in a bad way. If we can get him to a medic soon he might stand a chance."

John crawled over to the lieutenant's position. "Now why would she want to shoot her own aide?"

Renton looked up into the eyes of the man that Morina hated above all others and saw only concern in their hazel depths. And in Renton's opinion, concern was more than justified. He was in a great deal of pain and distress. He groaned and then realised something. Did that damn Atlantean just say that Morina wanted to shoot him _? So where was the woman now?_ "Have you killed her?" he managed to ask through gritted teeth.

John didn't feel like answering but he did anyway. "No, she may lose a few fingers because I shot the gun out of her hand. It saved your life by the way. You can thank me later. Although you'll both face justice once we're off this rock." John turned to Becket. "Okay, we still have to breach Lanbar's defences. Hopefully we can do that quickly. In the meantime, I want you to stay with them and if possible keep him alive. Better dress his wound," he said as an afterthought.

Becket nodded and for the first time noticed the large rip in the colonel's TAC vest. "Are you all right, sir?" he asked with concern.

John waved him off. "I'm fine." He didn't like to say anything more in front of Morina's aide. He looked down at the man in question. "Are you in a great deal of pain?" Renton grimaced and nodded. John inwardly sighed and quickly injected the precious morphine. Although the man was probably aiding child traffickers, he couldn't very well leave him to suffer. "You should begin to feel the pain ease in a minute or so, and it should help you for a couple of hours at least. By then hopefully we will have the place secure and get you some proper medical attention." He sighed, "Right, I'd better see where Ronon and the Marine's are at," he informed Becket. "Stay safe, Lieutenant."

Becket saluted. "I will, sir."

John nodded and smiled as he cautiously moved away. He was beginning to really like the young man but Becket would have to learn that he didn't have to salute him at every turn.

oOo

Deelan peered over the top of the windowsill, his gun pointed at nothing but silent scrubland. "Why has it gone so quiet?" he whispered. "Surely Reymon and the others couldn't have eliminated all the Atlantean forces already? And if so why haven't they sent someone to tell us?"

From his position by the only other window, Ehram shook his head. "You're right. I don't like it, we should be hearing gunfire still. That last lot sounded pretty close. Brother, I think it's time we made our escape so let's get…" He made to turned around only to find a deadly looking gun pointed at his head by an angry man with dreadlocks. The big man was throwing him death glares. Ehram swallowed hard, then he dared to glance to his brother only to see that he was being held by another man, military looking. Dressed all in black.

"Okay, drop your guns and kick them away if you don't want Ronon here blasting your heads off." Another voice ordered directly behind them. Deelan glanced over his shoulder and noted that the man who had spoken was also dressed in black. From his appearance and that hair, Deelan suddenly realised that he was none other than John Sheppard.

Knowing they were outnumbered, at least for the moment, Ehram and Deelan quickly dropped their weapons. "Now move away from the windows and stand with your backs to that wall." Sheppard gestured with his gun.

"Have you killed all my men?" Ehram had the nerve to ask as they moved.

Sheppard remained silent. Deelan turned to look at him and froze. From his vantage point he noticed the stupid kid Marco had his gun pointed directly at Sheppard's back from behind a tall wooden cabinet. Deelan tried not to react because Marco could just be the one to take Sheppard out even if it probably meant the kid's death at the hands of the big man. _No great loss._ Deelan had no love for the arrogant brat.

However, he must have underestimated Sheppard because something in his face must have given the colonel a warning. A gun went off, several in fact and Deelan looked sideward to see a growing pool of blood spread across his brother's chest. The boy Marco was on the floor clutching his leg and making one hell of a racket. He was silenced when the big Satedan shot him with his fancy gun.

John got up from his position on the floor and dusted off his pants. His uniform now looked a trifle dirty. "Doesn't seem to be my day."

With those words Deelan came out of his shock and rushed to his fallen brother. "You killed him you bastard!"

Sheppard shook his head. "You've got the kid to thank for that. Are you sure he's dead?"

"Yes, you bastard. I can't feel his pulse."

Feeling more than a little put out, John came over and pointed his Colt at the criminal's head. "I would very much appreciate it if you would stop calling me a bastard. My mother would have been sorely upset. Now move away from your brother and sit against the wall." Surprisingly, Deelan did so without a fuss. John turned to address one of the Marines who had accompanied them during the final push. "Captain, secure him and if he so much as twitches."

"Will do." Captain Matthews replied. Waving his gun at Deelan, he proceeded to attach restraints to his wrists.

In the meantime, Ronon had dragged the unconscious boy into the centre of the room and also had him secured. He came over to stand by John who was checking to see if the older brother really was dead. John looked up at his friend. "The kid got him right in the heart," he told Ronon quietly.

"No great loss. Better him than you."

John nodded and stood. "Good job the other brother is still alive because I want some answers." he said, loud enough for the man in question to hear him.

Deelan sneered. "I ain't telling you anything. My brother's dead and you killed him…you bastard." he said so quietly that John nearly didn't catch it. John's anger flared but he didn't act on it knowing that the criminal was trying to get his back up. Maybe he wanted to join his brother in hell.

However, Ronon moved threateningly closer and snared. "You heard the Colonel. The kid killed your brother. Now stop calling him a bastard."

"Don't believe it and I'll call him what I like."

John moved closer then. "You're going to be difficult aren't you, but it will do you no good in the end because Ronon here is an expert at extracting information in the most excruciating way."

"He wouldn't dare. As a citizen of Delka I have my rights. Our planet is a full member of the Coalition and as such…."

"I'm fully aware of your rights, Lanbar," John interrupted, "Only I think child abduction and trafficking is a crime that no one on the Council will take kindly to. Now if you co-operate and give us the information we need then things might go at little easier for you. And by the way in answer to your brother's earlier question, some of your men were killed, including the ones guarding this building. However, most weren't that loyal and surrendered without a fight once they realised things looked pretty hopeless for them. Nobody wants to die for the pittance you gave them and with only a verbal promise of more riches at a later date. If you want good mercenaries you have to pay them well. Anyway your hiring days are well and truly over." John didn't mention that that had only been true for the mercenaries Ronon and Captain Matthews had been dealing with. John still wasn't so sure about the rest.

"I didn't hire them, Ehram did." Deelan muttered. "Now I've got nothing more to say to you, you piece of scum. You can torture me all you like but I'll not tell you a thing." He fell silent after that and stubbornly looked at his feet.

Ronon growled dangerously. John sighed, he didn't know if Ronon's reaction had been because of Deelan's continuing insults towards him or because the man was playing stubborn. John didn't take it personally as Deelan was an uneducated criminal who only knew how to throw insults, although it was getting on his nerves. Now he needed to get in contact with his units. John unclipped his radio, which was thankfully still intact. He clicked the call button three times to signal that they had the building secured. All units began to report in with the same good news that the remaining mercenaries had surrendered. John told them to continue their diligence and gather the prisoners at the Gate ready for transfer. Major Lorne and his team were now guarding the Gate, so John requested that they contact Councillor Kelore and ask for a large security team to take the prisoners off their hands once they were sent through to Coalition headquarters. John didn't want anything more to do with the mercenaries after that. Then he thought about Lieutenant Becket and his wounded prisoners and ordered a medic and a couple of Marines to their location. That left dealing with Deelan and trying to gather some information regarding their child abduction activities.

For the first time, John took a good look around the small dingy room with its dirty, grey walls and well-worn, wooden floor. He had no idea what the building had been used for, maybe as a resting place for a traveller heading to or from the Gate. Although that didn't make sense as the Gate wasn't that far away. The planet had been heavily culled in the past but if John's memory served him right, a few survivors still resided in a small community approximately seventy miles away. Apparently the survivors didn't travel at all these days but that didn't mean that the building couldn't have been used as a way point for those wishing to travel in the past.

The room's only furniture comprised of a dark, wooden desk with several accompanying chairs and the flimsy looking cabinet, which the boy had used as a hiding place. Not in it but behind it. John pondered that for a moment. The thing looked big enough to have housed the lanky youth, then again if it was full of stuff. He marched over and yanked the rickety door open to find some hand written documents haphazardly scattered over several shelves, which looked far stronger than the rest of the unit. John picked a document up. Naturally it wasn't written in English. It did look hopeful, although John found it surprising that criminals like them should have kept records. Whatever, maybe the documents would prove useful and then they might not need Deelan's cooperation after all.

He took the document over to Ronon. "Have you ever seen this language before?" Ronon shook his head. Then John showed it to Deelan but the man reminded stubbornly silent. "Okay, I'm sure we'll find someone on the council who knows what it is. Or is it written in…now what was the name of your home planet? Oh yeah…Delka."

Deelan still didn't answer. John went back and placed the document with the rest. He stood still for a moment, starring at the pile of paper. In there could be the information regarding Beth's abduction and the whereabouts of her real parents. For a moment he wanted to forget the whole thing but that wouldn't be right. Besides, Teyla wouldn't allow it anyway.

John turned away and looked at Matthews. "We'll need to get all this stuff boxed up and shipped to the Coalition for translation. Can I leave you to arrange that, Captain?"

Matthews nodded. "Will do, sir."

John then searched the desk's drawers only to come up empty handed as they only contained some rather unappetizing bread and cheese. He quickly closed it against the smell and said. "Alright let's get back to the Jumper, pick-up our other guests and deliver the whole bunch to the Coalition."

Ronon twirled his gun before grabbing the unconscious youth by his collar. He hoisted him up and waved his gun in Deelan's direction. "Move."

Deelan reluctantly stood up, although with cuffed hands it wasn't easy for him. Nobody gave him a hand. "What about my brother?"

"Oh, so you can still speak." John said with a hint of sarcasm. "Not to worry, the cleanup crew will give him a descent burial." Deelan glared at him before lowering his head knowing full well there would be no funeral rites for Ehram.

Just as they were about to leave several marines arrived. They acknowledged their CO with a quick salute, mainly done out of respect for the colonel in front of the child trafficker. John gave them a nod and a smile knowing they would do their duty without question. Instructing Captain Matthews to stay behind to help they left the building with one marine as an escort. John led the way while the big Satedan watched over Deelan and the kid. The Marine took up their six.

It had been a long campaign. One John hoped would soon be resolved for good. He was tired, felt grubby and couldn't wait to get back to Atlantis for a long, hot shower. Best of all, Teyla and the kids would be waiting for him. That thought brought a big smile to his lips.

TBC

 **Thanks for the feedback and sorry to the Guest who wanted more whump but that would have changed my story completely. Have no fear things don't always run smoothly for Sheppard, so stay tuned.**


	23. Chapter 23

Fragile Lives

Chapter 23

The locker room was quiet when John entered some hours later. He'd just come from giving a quick summary to Woolsey after delivering their prisoners, including Deelan into the hopefully capable hands of the Coalition. He smiled at Deelan's fear and sudden loose tongue after Ronon had spent some quality time with him alone. When John had gone into Deelan's cell to see how things were progressing there had been a distinct wetness around the guy's crotch, and he had confirmed that his brother had kept details of all their dealings in the documents they had found.

As for Morina Delmoi, John shuddered when he thought of her. How could anyone be so obsessively revengeful, hateful even to blame him solely for the destruction of their world? She was no better than Shiana. Before she had been taken to be hospitalized with her aide, she had looked him in the eye and whispered. "I will kill you one day of that you can be sure, Sheppard." John had no doubt she would try, so he would have to make sure she never got the opportunity. And he would certainly be asking the judges to give her a good long sentence for her crimes.

As to her aide, Renton's wound had been less serious than it looked and the man was expected to make a full recovery. Good news as that meant Renton would soon be fit enough to serve his sentence when found guilty, which John had no doubt he would be. As for Lenric Aldern, he was currently spending the night as their guest in a holding cell. Councillor Kelore hadn't been too pleased about letting the man go to live in another galaxy and John surmised that the SGC wouldn't be too thrilled either. But a deal was a deal and the little criminal had come through in the end, meaning John had every intention of keeping his word.

John wanted to get Woolsey on his side when he gave his full report first thing in the morning but right now, he was bone weary and wanted nothing more than a hot shower and some shut eye. He gratefully began to shed his gear not noticing that Teyla had quietly slipped into the room. She watched him for a moment admiring his physique and the fact that he seemed to be totally unharmed for once before moving over to give him a hug.

John jumped slightly at her touch before realising it was his love. "I'm not very clean and smell…"

Teyla silenced him with a finger on his lips. "I do not care. It is good to have you back safely." She gave him a lingering kiss then lowered her eyes and frowned when she noticed the torn pocket in the vest. "How did that happen?"

John quickly slipped the grubby vest off. He had hoped to remove it before Teyla saw it. So now he had to come up with a good explanation without telling her the whole truth. He held the vest up for a moment noting that the torn pocket was more extensive than he thought. "I…err…it got caught on a thorny bush." Oh gods that sounded so lame but he was tired and his brain had already gone to sleep.

Teyla looked closer at the vest. "I believe you are telling me a tall story, John Sheppard."

There was no fooling Teyla. "Okay, it was a bullet," he quickly explained.

Teyla went cold, wondering why he was unharmed. She traced the material of his shirt finding it intact. "A side shot maybe? One that skimmed your vest?"

John nodded enthusiastically. That was a good enough description. "Yeah probably." He was beginning to wonder if it had been just a ricochet, yet he distinctly remembered the force of the bullet hitting him. He pushed it aside hoping Teyla would forget the whole thing. He dumped the vest in his locker as he was too tired to empty the pockets right now, apart from the necklace which he managed to slip into his shirt pocket without Teyla seeing. "Come on. I need a shower."

"And what about your post mission check-up?"

"Shower first. I don't want to send the nurses running."

Teyla slowly shook her head. "I am sure they have smelt far worse." Then she realised how that must have sounded because not so long back, John had been in a dreadful condition during his illness.

Thankfully, he didn't seem to notice. "I still want a shower before going to the infirmary. Come on let's go to my quarters." As they started to walk away, John asked. "Where are the kids?"

"Amiera is looking after them before bedtime. They have been very good but have missed you greatly. I know you were successful in capturing the traffickers. Have they talked yet?"

John glanced sideways and caught her eye. "Only one brother survived and he refused to talk at first. He's talking now thanks to Ronon but it doesn't really matter as surprisingly they seemed to have kept records of their dealings. They're in a native language nobody could read yet but Councillor Kelore assured me they will be translated as quickly as possible. Hopefully they'll contain plenty of details and names."

"It is not going to be an easy task to reunite the children with their rightful families, especially if many years have already gone by since their abduction."

John sighed and nodded. "Yeah, not easy. That won't be our problem though as the whole matter has been taken over by the Coalition. Initially, I wanted the papers here but I changed my mind as we haven't really got the personnel to handle it. The only involvement we will have concerns Beth. I'm still kind of hoping she comes from an orphanage. Then we can formally request to adopt her if you want."

They had reached his door so there was nothing to stop Teyla from pulling him down for another kiss. "I wish that very much and I hope it turns out to be so. However, we must be prepared to return her to her rightful family if necessary."

John chewed on his lip as he let them in. "Yeah, I know." He didn't like to think about it but if he had to say goodbye to Beth then he had to accept it. Hopefully one day, he and Teyla would have a child together whether they still had Beth with them or not. That would certainly complete their family. With those happy thoughts he entered the bathroom a few minutes later.

Hot water flowed over his aching muscles and it felt so good. John lathered up but stopped to finger his chest were an odd shaped bruise discoloured his skin. Annoyingly it was just above the last and most stubborn lesion that still hadn't fully faded away yet. All the others had thankfully gone leaving only the odd scar behind as reminder of his brush with death. The new bruise didn't hurt much but he knew very well that the bullet had caused it. So how come he didn't have a serious wound? If the bullet had gone through his vest it would have punctured his lung at the very least. So what had really stopped it? Was it the strong material of his vest or…? He pushed the thought aside for a minute and quickly rinsed the soap away before stepping out of the stall.

Drying off, he wrapped a big blue towel around his waist before picking up his discarded shirt and taking out the necklace. He thought the overhead lights brighter and held the necklace up before his eyes. The pendent shone back at him. Its splendid beauty looked perfectly intact. No dent or mark marred the surface to indicate it may have stopped a bullet. Yet John had a feeling it might just have. There was no other explanation for it. Yet it was something he could probably never prove, unless he was foolish enough to wear it and have someone try to shoot him again.

It had been a very close call indeed, one he buried deep in his mind as he would keep the full details to himself and not worry Teyla with it. He looked at the pendant one last time. Then as the market seller had suggested, he fastened it around his neck and walked into the main room wearing nothing but his towel and the necklace.

Teyla looked up and smiled. She would have joined him in the shower but knew how very tired he was. Although, he looked slightly more refreshed now and as much she desired to welcome him back properly, she considered his need for sleep and the fact that he still needed his post mission check-up. In fact, it surprised her that Carson hadn't already requested his attendance.

All the same she rose from her seat and moved closer to look at the new necklace around his neck. She ran her fingers lightly over the exquisite medallion wondering where he had got it from. "I have not seen this before. It is very pleasing to the eye." _Like its owner_ , but she didn't voice that knowing how embarrassed John could be sometimes. "Where did you get it?"

He removed it from around his neck, "Who said it was mine?" He went behind her and fastened it. "A beautiful gift for a beautiful lady," he said nibbling her ear.

Teyla turned to face him. "It is truly an amazing gift. Thank you so much. Having you home safe and sound is also very gratifying."

Tiredness all but forgotten, John lowered his mouth to kiss her and slowly manoeuvred them toward the bed. The distraction had worked as she hadn't asked anything about the bruise, at least not yet.

oOo

"And about bloody time, too." Carson groused.

"Sorry, Carson. I needed a wash and a change of clothes."

Carson looked at his watch. "And it took ya two hours?"

John smirked, "Give me a break, Carson. I hadn't seen Teyla for nearly three days."

The doctor shook his head. "Aye well, in future the check-up comes first no matter how amorous you're feeling."

John smiled. "All right, I'll try to remember that but you know how it is."

"Aye it's been a while since I've had a girl to think about. I'm happy for you, John, truly I am. It took long enough for the two of you to come to ya senses." Carson stated as he started to do the necessary checks. "Did you manage to find out anything about wee Beth then?"

"Only one brother survived. He's started to talk a little now but if the paperwork we found proves useful, we won't need his cooperation anyway. It's not going to be an easy task finding all the kids and then comes the question, should they be removed from their new homes if there has been a long period of time since they were taken. As for Beth, we'll have to wait and see."

"Aye, I just hope she has no family because… well everyone around here has already become very fond of her and it will be particularly hard for you, Teyla and Torren."

John looked away for a moment. "Yeah."

"What's this now?" Carson asked pointing to his bruise and prodding it.

John slapped Carson's fingers away. "Just a small bruise. It doesn't even hurt that much."

"Aye well that's an odd one but if you say so. Now let's get some blood and then you can go back to your lass."

"To sleep, Carson. Believe me, to sleep."

"Aye, ya look like you could do with it."

oOo

John stood before Teyla's door and stared at the piece of paper he held with a heavy heart. It would be hard to tell her but there was nothing he could do to change the facts. Taking a deep breath, he entered to the noise of children happily playing.

Teyla looked up from her place on the floor and knew immediately that John had come with some bad news. It had been four days now since his return. Four days during which they had heard nothing other than the papers were being translated and processed. Obviously something had happened while she had spent time playing with the children.

They saw John and rushed up to greet him. Beth held her arms up, wanting to be picked up. John put on a forced smile and hoisted her into his arms. He held her against him while his other hand ruffled Torren's hair. "Hey pal, how you doing?"

Torren jumped up and down. "Build us a casta, Unca Juhn."

John looked over at the wooden brick castle. "Seems complete to me, pal. I'll join you soon but first I need to speak to your momma, so I want you both to play quietly for a minute. We'll just be in the other room. Ok?" Two little heads nodded and John put Beth down.

He beckoned for Teyla to follow him into the bedroom and handed her the paper. She read it short and felt tears form, which she wiped away before saying. "We knew that this could happen but…"

John hugged her to him. He was getting better at that. "Yeah. It's not going to be easy to give her back to her mother."

Teyla nodded. "What will happen now?"

"Well, I'm certainly not just going to hand her over without making sure the information on that paper is correct. As you can see there's no mention of a father."

"No, but that is not unusual. In some societies the mother takes full responsibly for her offspring."

 _Just like you did_ , John thought as Torren had never bore any of Kanaan's names and Teyla had always made the major decisions concerning his welfare. That was irrelevant now but John hoped to be a little more involved in the Torren's upbringing now that he was part of Teyla's life. "Yeah that may be so." He tilted Teyla's face to look straight into the eyes. "I would like you to come with me to check things out. Beth will stay here for now and if things seem above board we'll arrange a reunion."

"I shall miss her greatly and so will Torren."

John held her close. "Yeah, me too."

oOo

Teyla had seen many different planets during her lifetime. She didn't recognise this one with its bright orange sun, which was currently sinking toward the horizon. Meaning it was probably late afternoon or early evening.

M8T 250 or Kaluna as it was known locally was hot and arid, at least at the latitude where the Stargate was located. Spindly looking vegetation grew wherever it could find a place to survive, which was mainly in the shade between the rocks. Yet some managed to get a foothold in the red sandy soil. A dry river bed suggested that some rain did fall from time to time but obviously there had been none for quite a while now.

Despite being later in the day it was still very hot, so Teyla was glad they were wearing civilian clothing and not their usual military gear. John had felt it best as they didn't want to scare the mother too much.

"Doesn't exactly look like a good place to raise a kid." John observed. "On the other hand we have places on Earth as arid as this," he added thinking of Afghanistan, Iraq, the Middle East and much of North Africa.

"I am surprised people live here as there would not be much shelter should the Wraith attack." Teyla observed.

"Maybe there are caves or someplace they can hide." John speculated.

Teyla nodded as they began walking down a dusty track leading towards the nearest community about two miles out beyond the Gate. They continued on in companionable silence. The landscape remained totally arid until they drew closer when signs of cultivation could be seen among the first group of odd looking buildings. It would appear they had a water supply from somewhere as the plants seemed to be thriving in the sandy soil. The buildings had large domed roofs and tiny windows. They reminded John a little of the Berber structures around Matmata in Tunisia and they also looked like something out of Star Wars.

"Hey I think we've arrived on Tatoonine," he joked.

Teyla knew exactly where he was referring to as she had seen the Star Wars movies many times. "Then lead the way Han Solo even if Chewie is not with you."

John chuckled and winked. "Ah…but I've got my princess."

"Am I not a Queen?" Teyla teased.

"I think I prefer Princess Leia, your worshipfulness."

Now that Teyla could fully understand as John had had far too many unpleasant experiences with Wraith Queens. She answered him in a very regal sounding voice. "Very well, I will be the Princess for you."

"Always," John murmured just as an elderly woman came out of the nearest building and headed straight for them. They stopped a few paces away and John held up his hand hoping she wouldn't venture any closer as she stank after stale booze and body odour.

"What do you want, strangers?" The woman asked with a toothless grin.

"We're looking for someone called Fremia. Can you tell us where we could find her?" John asked.

The woman looked him up and down. "Come to pay her at long last have we?"

The alarm bells went up and John exchanged a quick look with Teyla. Could it be the mother actually sold Beth? Teyla quickly spoke up, using her most diplomatic tone. "That is why we need to see Fremia so we may settle our business with her. Now where is she please?"

"Probably tending to her Goads this time of day."

John guessed she meant some kind of animal. "Goads?" he asked anyway, even though he now remembered that the market trader on Cordon had said that the necklace strap was made of Goad leather. So he guessed a Goad was some type of bovine creature.

The woman looked at him oddly. "Yes, Goads. Where do you come from that you have not heard of a Goad? And I thought you had come to pay your debts from your last purchase."

Teyla felt her heart sink a little as it seemed the money owing had nothing to do with Beth. She quickly intervened before John could say anything. "We are acting on behalf of the buyer. I also do not know what a Goad is, so why not tell us?"

The woman shook her head as if not believing a word of it. "You can find out for yourselves. Now continue on down through the town." She pointed in the right direction with a knobbly finger. "Go by all the other dwellings and taverns until the last abode. Fremia and her Goads will be there." With that the woman staggered back into the shade of her doorway.

TBC


	24. Chapter 24

**Fragile Lives**

Chapter 24

They walked on in silence, each deep in their own thoughts. It was far too early to voice anything just yet anyway. More facts were needed before they could draw any conclusions. The further they ventured into the main community the livelier the place became. It seemed the heat didn't deter people from having a good time as the evening entertainment appeared to start early. Taverns and eating houses were plentiful. Music and laughter spilled into the street along with the smoke from various substances which John didn't like to think about. Added to the aroma of cooked meats and spices, the end result wasn't unpleasant. It made them both feel a bit peckish but apart from the fact they had none of the local currency, there simply wasn't time to stop and eat. They had a mission to fulfil so they ignored it all and moved on. Luckily no one else bothered them as if seeing two complete strangers was an everyday occurrence.

The taverns and other low lying buildings eventually thinned out until the last abode came into sight, if you could call it a house. In fact it looked more like a small dome sticking up out of the sand. The other buildings had been rustic red like the sandy soil but this dome building was a dirty grey stone colour. As they approached, John could see that the actual home was probably in the ground, making him believe he really was on Tatoonine. Who could have guessed how close to the truth George Lucas had been. But there the Universe was full of infinite possibilities.

They moved to stand near the edge of a dugout, oval shaped hole. It wasn't very deep, probably no more than twelve feet. Carved into the walls were what looked like water troughs and the sandy soil around the troughs was marked with multiple footprints. As John glanced over the edge he could just make out a strange looking animal keeping well in the shade along one wall. The thing appeared to have longish hair and short legs. John moved a little further around the edge until the shaded wall came into full view and there were at least twenty of the creatures lying quietly or munching their way through some rough looking grasses. They definitely weren't bovine and the ground dwelling definitely wasn't for human habitation unless she liked sleeping with the creatures.

"I think I've just found the Goads." John announced. Teyla had stayed where she was, not looking into the hole at all but at the small doom building where John could now see a woman standing in the doorway pointing a gun their way. It was difficult to determine her age as her dark skin was heavily weathered by the sun and her hair bleached almost white. John guessed she wasn't as old as she looked. She was even shorter than Teyla in stature but that didn't mean she was harmless as a look of distrust marked her face.

John quickly moved back to Teyla and held up his hands. "We're not armed," Which wasn't exactly true but the woman didn't need to know that. "Are you Fremia Pat'an?"

The woman waved the gun in the air. "What is it to you stranger?"

"We've come to talk business but if you're not her then…" John began to walk away.

"All right, I am she. Now what business do you want to discuss?"

John glanced at Teyla. She was fanning her face with a small piece of paper and looking really hot and flustered. He felt the same and very thirsty, too. "May we go into the shade or someplace cooler than out here? My wife is feeling a bit overwhelmed by the heat."

"How do I know I can trust you? You may steal my Goads? Who are you anyway?"

John put on his best and most trusting smile. "My name's Han and this is Leia," he said pointing to Teyla. "Believe me we are not interested in stealing any of your Goads. We're just here to talk business for our boss Ehram Lanbar." He'd taken a gamble, hoping that she knew the dead trafficker personally.

The woman looked irritated. "That good for nothing fraud never paid me my dues. You had better come into my home and tell me what you are really here for."

John let Teyla go in first, she had no problem entering but he had to stoop low to get through the small doorway. Inside, the building was surprisingly cool and spacious with the minimum of furnishings so as not to overcrowd the tiny room. Once again it reminded John of North African abodes. Brightly coloured cloth and cushions gave the little seating area a homely feel. It seemed most of her needs were served only by one room. Over on one wall a shelf-like alcove appeared to be her sleeping area, once again it was covered with bright blankets. Against the opposite wall stood a simple solid fuel burning stove and above hung a variety of cooking utensils. Only one other door appeared to lead into another room. John guessed it to be the washroom. Despite the room's apparent cleanliness and care, he couldn't imagine raising a child in such a small area. Yet who was he to judge having been born into a house of wealth and luxury.

Fremia instructed them to sit. A few minutes later she provided them with a much needed glass of cool water, which tasted surprisingly good. They thanked her and got down to business.

"So how much does Lanbar still owe you?" John asked.

The woman looked perplexed. "Well you should know if he sent you."

Teyla spoke up. "He only told us with speak to you. No amount was mentioned."

Fremia raised her gun and started to back away from them. "So you have come here to kill me."

John held up both hands. "We're here to do no such thing. Now please lower your gun and sit down then tell us all about the deal you made with him. Then we can sort things out. Ok?"

Hesitantly, Fremia slowly lowered the gun and moved to the bench seat, although she sat well away from them and kept her gun by her side. "What do you want from me then?"

"The little girl you gave to Lanbar was she your daughter?" Teyla asked gently.

"Once again you should know that. Who are you really?"

John sighed and held up his hand in a pleading gesture. "Just tell us about the child and we'll tell you everything after that. I promise."

Fremia looked at them questioningly. "Very well. However, I do not think you are Lanbar's people. If you are law keepers I have done nothing wrong as far as the laws of this planet goes."

"Was she your daughter?" Teyla asked again.

"I may have told Lanbar that but it was not the whole true. I was protecting someone else." Fremia went silent after that.

"Please tell us about her. I can assure you we have nothing to do with this planet or its laws." Teyla quietly pleaded.

The woman looked at them and must have seen they were being honest for her, she nodded. "Well you certainly do not come from around here with your pretty faces and pale skin, at least his is. Now you must understand we have to enforce very strict codes of conduct in order to survive this harsh environment. We stay close to the Ancestors' ring so that we may trade but despite that food and water are still very precious commodities. We have deep wells but at the hottest times of the year they can run low. So our population is strictly controlled. Our beliefs dictate that a united couple may have no more than two children. To have a child out of union is not permitted and looked upon with great scorn."

John lent forward. "By united or union you mean husband and wife?"

"Yes, I suppose that is what you could call them, although we do not use those terms. Our beliefs even forbid intimate contact before union. The girl I protected was very young and foolish. She met a man from another world and claimed to fall in love with him. They meet in secret during the few times he came to trade here and he even promised that they would be joined in union. The foolish girl believed him. She was so infatuated by him. Then one day he simply stated that he would not be returning to Kaluna again because his wife and children needed him at home. It left her broken hearted as she came to realise he had just used her for his own pleasure."

Fremia looked down at her hands for a few seconds before continuing. "A few months later, she realised that she was with child. Naturally, she feared the people's wrath and as she had no family to support her she came to me for help. I have contacts on other worlds where I trade my Goads and I arranged for her to stay with them until the babe was born. Sadly, the birth did not go well as the attending healer was incompetent. She died of fever a few days after giving birth and I was left with the child. I am a widow and I did not want the responsibility of raising a baby on my own. Although I had to bring her here until other arrangements could be made. I made up a story for the elders, telling them that she was a child of an off-world friend who had died and would be living with me only for a very short time until a new family could be found. If I had not told them that I would have been banished and my life here at an end. It may seem hard to you but I love tending my Goads and I had no desire to find a new husband."

"Did the elders not enquire after the young girl?" Teyla asked.

"No they believed she had gone looking for a better life elsewhere and would not return. That was the story they were told." Fremia looked down at her hands again and whispered. "Having the babe here was hard work as tending the Goads is a full time job. Then one day Sukie crawled away and fell down into the Goad pit when I was not looking. She survived the fall with only a few bruises and thankfully the Goads left her alone but I quickly realised she could not stay with me any longer. She deserved a better place than this harsh planet. Also the elders kept asking me when the child would leave. Then I met someone while trading on Delka who said he could help me find a good family for Sukie and that I would receive a sum of money for my trouble."

That sounds like Deelan or even Ehram Lanbar himself. John gave her a reassuring smile. "What happened after that?"

"A woman turned up a while later and handed me a few coins with a promise of more once Sukie was settled with a new family. She took the child and that was the last I heard from anyone. Even my contact was gone when I tried to find him again."

John looked at Teyla and smiled, here was hope for them yet. He cleared his throat. "Okay, I think we can tell you the truth now. My real name is John Sheppard and this is Teyla Emmagan of Athos. It's a long story but the baby girl ended up with us."

"So you are Sukie's new family?"

Teyla smiled at her. "Not exactly. However like John said, it is very complicated."

"Did you have any idea that Lanbar may have been a child trafficker, a dealer?" John said trying not to show malice as he was sure Fremia had been ignorant of the full facts.

Fremia looked down at her hands again, only this time with a look of shame. "I did not know at first, only later I had my suspicions when he failed to honour our agreement. I did not want much money for the babe, only a small payment for the care I had given her. I should not have handed her over as eagerly as I did as later I feared she had ended up in a bad place. Now you tell me she is with you. You look like good people, so I hope she is safe."

Teyla looked at her honestly. "I can assure you she is doing fine and is very happy with us."

"Yeah as Teyla said, she is happy now. There are a few things we ought to discuss before we leave. I can't promise you payment but maybe we can help you in other ways. However, first of all we need to know something about the father as he has a right to know."

Fremia shook her head. "You need not worry about him. I stumbled upon him during a trading trip and I even showed him the babe as she was with me. He said he did not want anything to do with the child as he already had seven others to care for and he doubted she was his anyway. I believe he feared that he would lose his wife if the truth came out. He left shortly after that and I have not seen him since and he does not come here to trade anymore."

John looked at Teyla. They didn't need words for what they were both thinking. "Okay, we have to ask this. Although you weren't the child's legal guardian, do have you anything against us adopting her."

"Well as long as you give her a good home and keep her safe, then not at all."

"We can promise you that, Fremia. I already have a son who is just a little older than the child. They are very content together."

John wouldn't exactly describe their little squabbles as contentment but Teyla was right they already acted like normal siblings. They hadn't told Fremia anything about their home yet and he wondered what her reaction would be to that piece of news. "There is some other information you should know. Firstly Lanbar and his brother are no longer a treat to any child. I personally saw to that."

"I am very pleased to hear it. Although I did not know anything about their dealings at the time, the woman who came for Sukie assured me that she would go to a good family."

"That's where the long story comes in." John began. "I won't bore you all the details but let's just say for a little while she was with a good family. Unfortunately a sickness took them all and the rest of the community. The baby was left alone for a very short time until luckily we happened to find her. We've taken care of her ever since and she's doing fine now."

"And she never got sick?"

"She did not." Teyla assured.

John smiled before getting back to facts. "There's something else we should tell you and that's where we reside. Do you know about Atlantis?"

"I most certainly do, it is the great city of the Ancestors. There are stories of people from another galaxy living there. I do not really believe it."

John smiled again and shook his head. "Teyla is an Athosian and is a very important member of our community on Atlantis. She has helped me and my people a great deal since we arrived from that other galaxy called the Milky Way. I'm the military commander there."

That was a lot for Fremia to take in. She thought about it for a moment. "I never thought I would meet an alien from another galaxy. Yet you look just like us."

John nearly laughed at that. "I'm as human as you and Teyla. The Ancients spread human life throughout both galaxies. I'm from a planet called Earth, which was once home to the Ancestors or Ancients as we call them."

Fremia spoke with awe. "Then you are truly the inheritors of Atlantis."

Teyla quickly spoke up before John could dispute it. "Not all people happened to agree. The Genii for instance do not but John and a few others like him carry the gene that allows them to interact with the wonderful technology left behind by the Ancestors."

John dismissed it out of hand. "That's not important and doesn't make me any better than anyone else."

Fremia looked at him seriously, "Whatever you say, John Sheppard. However you seem to be a man of great kindness and importance, so you will make a good father for Sukie. Have you two been joined in union?"

That was the question Teyla had been hoping she wouldn't ask. "Our beliefs and customs are different from yours Fremia. The main thing is that we love each other and the children. And I know that John will do anything he can to keep us safe, as will I for him and the children."

"Then you have my blessing. I ask only one thing that I may see Sukie one day."

John nodded. "I'm sure we can arrange that. I should tell you that she goes by another name these days as we had no idea what she was called. We named her after two people who were very special to us. One was a great leader who kept us all alive and hopeful despite our many problems during the first few years. Unfortunately, apart from the Wraith we encountered another enemy that proved overwhelming at first. She gave her life saving me, my team and everyone else on Atlantis, which allowed us to eventually defeat them. The second person was a very wise and important Athosian. A close mentor of Teyla's in her youth. We felt it only fitting that the little one should be called after them, so she goes by the name of Elizabeth Charin. Shortened to Beth most times as that's easier."

Fremia smiled. "That is a lovely name and an excellent reason. Far better than the one I gave her as that was the name of my favoured Goad. It died before Sukie, I mean Beth, was even born." Just as she said that a loud bellowing noise reached their ears from deep beneath them. Fremia immediately got up. "That is my call to duty as it is feeding time."

"Could we take a look at your Goad or do they scare easily?"

"Most certainly, John, as long as you and Teyla stay back a little and do not make any aggressive moves."

She led them through the other door. The one John thought was a washroom. Instead it opened onto a long slopping corridor with steps cut directly into the sandstone. If there was a washroom or even toilet it certainly wasn't here. The narrow corridor continued on until they reached another wooden door. Fremia opened it and they found themselves face to face with a sea of woolly faces all begging for food once they saw their owner.

The animals looked something like a cross between a sheep and a goat only they had quite large eyes and long woolly coats. Surprising considering the climate.

John waited until Fremia had finished feeding them before asking in a quiet voice so as not to scare them. "Are these animals native to this planet?"

"No, they come from the trading planet of Xhari. They normally live in high, wet regions. I am the only one who has successfully managed to keep them here. They provide fresh milk and cheese to people who desire it. And as I mentioned before I sometimes trade them off-world, especially when I need extra supplies." She led them over to a small enclosure carved into one wall. "I also breed them very successfully as you can see."

"Oh they are lovely." Teyla commented taking in the ten or so fluffy, adorably cute young ones.

John nodded his agreement and turned away before the women saw he was not that smitten. He preferred dogs or horses anyway. "Well, we'd better leave you to it," he announced. "Thank you for everything and we'll get in touch regarding your compensation and seeing Beth. Oh and please don't talk about us being from Atlantis to anyone else. Ok?"

"I understand and do not worry as far as my people are concerned the babe was already placed with a family to good time ago."

It seemed Fremia wasn't that trusting as she followed them back up the stairs. They said their final goodbyes and headed into the evening dusk.

They arrived at the DHD just as the sun's last rays spread across the sandy desert landscape. In its own way it had a certain beauty being cast in bright reds, yellow and even gold. They stopped for a minute to take in its magnificent splendour.

Teyla sensed that John was nervous as he had been unusually quiet once they had left the small town behind. "Are you not happy about being able to keep Beth?"

John turned to her and smiled, "Maybe a little apprehensive about the responsibilities of fatherhood but never happier." He took her hand. "You know how I am with words. I…err…I've been thinking about what Fremia said about union. Well…I...actually thought a lot about it before then but…. Do you mean what you said to Fremia that it didn't matter that we've made no formal marriage yet?"

"Yes, John. I am happy to take time. I had no formal commitment to Kanaan and I do not expect that from you at this time." Teyla thought hard about her next words. "It does not mean that I do not want to be with you. I love you with all my heart. You are my soul mate and I hope to grow old with you. Ancestors willing."

John turned his face away and Teyla thought she saw some moisture in his eyes. He turned back a moment later and squeezed her hand. "I feel the same but one day I want to make that commitment to you. Maybe not in an Earth ceremony like Rodney and Jennifer's but Athosian?"

"I would be honoured when the time is right. For us a ceremonial union is a commitment made only when the couple feel they are truly ready and have been together for a number of years. As I understand it, the trend is going that way in certain lands on Earth."

John nodded. "Yeah, it's quite common these days for couples to live together for a few years before getting married, especially in some European countries. Although that's got a lot to do with personal beliefs, I mean some religious people and their families totally disapprove of such an action. So you're saying we should find a larger apartment, live together as a family and see how things go?"

Teyla nodded and reached up to kissed him. "It does not mean I think our relationship will ever end. Only I need more time and so do you before a formal commitment. However it would never change the way I feel about you."

"Yeah, I just want you to be happy, give you security and be there for you and the children no matter what."

Teyla nodded again and they shared another kiss before John dialled in the coordinates. "Let's go home."

John entered the event horizon feeling somehow slightly relieved. As much as he loved Teyla, the idea of marrying again made him feel very nervous indeed, and if he were truly honest with himself, worried that it wouldn't work out just like it didn't with Nancy. On the other hand things were very different this time around. For one thing he was older and hopefully wiser than the young man who had rushed into marriage back then. Now he had time to grow into it and if it worked well between them, then he would most certainly make a formal commitment to the woman he truly loved.

The End?

 **Writers note.**

 _This is where I originally intended to end the story. Then a few weeks back I thought I'd include a few more chapters set in the future, including a bit of whump. Now I'm not so sure whether to continue or not as the response to the last few chapters has dwindled somewhat. I'm also getting close to my holiday so haven't so much time. I've learned one thing from this story and that's Sheppard whump is slightly more popular than romance or so it seems. So if I ever write SGA again in the future I will definitely be whumping poor John. (I can just see Joe Flanigan's look of horror). Anyway, if I don't post anymore then thank you so much for all the feedback, the alerts and the favourites. A special thanks to warshipShepp, guest 64 and guest for your reviews, sorry I couldn't thank you personally._ _It's been great posting. It just makes me a little sad that Atlantis is long gone and the interest in SGA fanfiction has declined so much, except for a faithful few like you guys. Please let me know if you'd like the extra chapters, which I've nearly written and would be only too happy to post._

 ** _P.S._**

 _Thanks for the great feedback. After reading your comments I've decided to go with RaySkywalker's suggestion and make a new story out of the chapters I've started. That way I can fill it out with_ _more_ _whump and romance than I had. Can't guarantee when that will be as I'm off on holiday in just over a weeks time but have no fear I will be writing again in the near future. Thanks again and long live SGA!_


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